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locked out


Al Green

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so.. its sunday.. ive been locked out of my house since friday 3 pm..

i have no clue where my roomate is.. i saw her once this week.

 

after you laugh at my misfortune..

 

anyone have good 'being locked out' or 'breaking in' stories.

 

 

*sigh

these are the breaks.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

Remember the big blizzard we had a few weeks back?

 

I managed to get myself locked out of my house during the middle of it at 1 AM wearing sweatpants, a long sleeved shirt, and flip flops, WITH my two-month old puppy. No roomates, no neighbors.

 

Thank god Mark was home.

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a friend of mine dropped me off at my house, and i had left my wind breaker in her car on the back seat and my keys were in it. being locked out, i did what I usually do. crawl thru the dusty grimey crawl space at the side of the house, and squeeze through a small rectangular hole in the wall that just barely allows me to get it, and i have to find something to support my self because it's about a 5 foot drop.

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2 houses ago I lived in the 2nd floor of a crappy ass apartment with a

totally disconnected office downstairs... I locked myself out of the house,

so I climbed up one of the support pillars for the balcony and busted the hinges off the crappy door up there. Easy squeazy.

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Guest ctrl+alt+del

i lock myself out of my car all the time. thats not fun.

 

been locked out my house a few times. in the summer we leave one window open all the time, i can use a screwdriver to pry up the screen and then climb on top the top rail of the deck and then crawlt rhough it, landing in my sink.

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i got locked out of my house many times...(yeah so what).....and i usually have ways of breakin in...but my usual one left me with a sliding glass window to open....i went through my backyard to open it and had to stand on a lil bench to do it....so when i did i found the window to be locked...so i was gonna try another route but my dog was so happy to see that morning he jumped on me and knocked me through the window....cut the shit out of my hand.....damn dog....but hey..i wasnt locked out anymore was i?....

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...the idea of calling a locksmith has occurred to me.

 

unfortunately i do not have 75 bucks.

 

.. my roomate gave up on the idea of a cellphone and i think ive seen her once in the past week.

 

computers are abundant and grow on trees

 

i just took a nap for two hours b/c ive slept like shit the past two nights

...

 

i have a bit of a hangover.. im tired. cranky as fuck.. i dont have my phone or wallet.

 

and ive been kicking myself in the ass for 2 days now.:mad: :lol:

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oh im not expecting solutions.

im just pissed and bitching.. im fucking hungry too.

 

ive been sleeping over at an ex's house. and she is more then accomodating. her bed is fucking uncomfortable as hell and i kept rolling into the radiator.. which is painful because its on.

 

ive left notes too and called my roomates friends.. its fine i can wait it out.

 

 

as for a stories:

 

the last house i lived in it was quite easy to break it.

 

i would climb onto the adjacent roof which was a garage.. pop open a window to this odd sundeck. go to my window.where i jerry_rigged a "bobby" trap. (some workmans helmets with heavy crap in them hung precariously from hooks.) when i was drunk these usually left welts on my head. id kind of pull myself in through a hidden slot in the window. voila...simple

 

the house before that.. well we had these crazy neighbors that lived downstairs... they watched the house like retarded hawks... and stunk it up with portuguese stank food smells. i just kept a spare underneath a rock on a wall surrounding the house next door...

quite simple.

 

 

but this house.. is not simple..

and due to that i am not in my house.

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Guest sneak

ive never locked my self out of mine, but ive been with mates who have done. we had to jump his side fence, avoid next doors dog, jump into his garden, climb to the roof, open the skylight and drop...

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being locked out of the crib is the worse.

youre so close, yet so far! theres like this wall between u and happiness comfort. hope u get in soon enough.

 

ive been locked out soooo many fucking times. i was a latch-key-kid most of my years and i always forgot my key. i would have to go next door to the rich-lonely-old-neighboors house, where she would keep me there for hours with her 6 cats, talking my ears off, and give me random shit like black zebra print leotards. so weird.

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well i am still locked out.

 

i dont own the apartment.. and im not retarded enough to kick down the door.. plus it has a steel frame.. plus the door must have a fire burn rating of about 5 hours.. shit is thick and heavy.

 

i spent an hour with a colleague trying to jimmy the door. lots of nifty jimmies for jimmy'ing .

 

i know how to get doors open if theyre shitty locks.. but unfortunately this is a pretty nice apartment and the locks arent shitty.

 

people have told me theyve been spotting my roomate around.. all of this makes me heated...

 

plus my fuckhead boss was late turning in paychecks so i wont get paid till next month... that fat fuck...

 

 

cant a man get a break?

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