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Lionel Hutz appreciation thread

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by imported_Europe, May 22, 2003.

  1. http://www.synergizedsolutions.com/simpsons/pictures/others/lionel.gif'>

    I just love this guy.

    1: Hutz: Now Marge, you´ve come to the right place. By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey. [sniff] Better cut down there, Smokey! [laughs] Marge: Mr. Hutz! Hutz: [excited] Look - he´s taking another puff! Marge: Mr. Hutz! This was all a misunderstanding; I didn´t mean to take anything. [Lionel disappointedly drops the smoking monkey in a drawer full of identical critters] Hutz: Now don´t you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We´ve drawn Judge Snyder. Marge: Is that bad? Hutz: Well, he´s kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently´ with `repeatedly´, and replace `dog´ with `son´.

    2: Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn´t help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour. Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer. Hutz: Three. Homer: Two. Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage. Homer: Done! Hutz: [proudly] Still got it.

    3: Lionel Hutz, executor of Ms. Bouvier´s estate. She left a video-will so I earn my fee simply by pressing the "play" button. Pretty sweet, eh? Late Ms. Bouvier [video-will]: Now let´s get down to business...
    Hutz [voice dubbed in]: To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
    Marge: Mr. Hutz!!! Hutz: You´d be surprised how often that works, you really would.

    4: Hutz: And so, ladies and gentleman of the jury I rest my case.
    Judge: Hmmm. Mr. Hutz, do you know that you´re not wearing any pants? Hutz: DAAAA!! I move for a bad court thingy. Judge: You mean a mistrial? Hutz: Right!! That´s why you´re the judge and I´m the law-talking guy. Judge: You mean the lawyer? Hutz: Right.

    5: Marge: Homer! Are you all right? Homer: [meekly] No. Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don´t you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn´t on, but I think I got the gist of it.

    6: ! Hutz: I didn´t win. Here´s your pizza. ! Marge: But we did win.
    ! Hutz: That´s okay. The box is empty.

    7: Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case. Judge: You rest your case? Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. CASE CLOSED.

    8: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What´s that, a broken neck? Great!

    9: Milhouse baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer..., er keeper awayer.

    10: Ladies and gentlemen, I´m going to prove to you not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not being guilty.

  2. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
  3. Ken Barlow

    Ken Barlow Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2003 Messages: 321 Likes Received: 0
  4. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    i had a lawyer jst like him once. I was sittin next to hinm in court and when they called my name he was all lookin around for me but i was right next to him elike "What eh fluck?" Needless to say i lost the case. Ansd he fot me sent to jail for a l;ittle bit. What a bitch ass faggot.
  5. fatbastard

    fatbastard Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2002 Messages: 2,880 Likes Received: 10
    the guy who did his voice and troy mclures died he was on news radio as well i cant remember his name
  6. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    thats why i never paid his ass the rest of his money. And other than that this thread is [​IMG]
  7. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    yeah hist wife blasted his ass/
  8. Ken Barlow

    Ken Barlow Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2003 Messages: 321 Likes Received: 0
    It was Phil Hartman you fucks!
  9. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
  10. Rectum

    Rectum Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 13, 2002 Messages: 1,501 Likes Received: 1

    did the wifey do herself as well?? i cant remember...
  11. sneak

    sneak Guest

    haha, this is why the simpsons rule
  12. Born Loser

    Born Loser New Jack

    Joined: Sep 14, 2001 Messages: 63 Likes Received: 0
    the man is right
  13. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
  14. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
  15. evilistic

    evilistic Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2001 Messages: 3,554 Likes Received: 0
    the brother doesnt get near enough props he deserves.gangsta.