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Lady advice for the Ch 0 dewds

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by GLIK$, Jun 2, 2006.

  1. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
    HOW TO TREAT A LADY

    1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes and girls love that.

    2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

    3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

    4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

    5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement.

    6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

    7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "fuck you" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

    8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

    9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

    10. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

    11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

    12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

    13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

    14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

    15. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

    16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

    17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

    18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

    19. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now don't call.

    20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that.
     
  2. Flavicon

    Flavicon Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 18, 2005 Messages: 2,367 Likes Received: 18
    16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.



    :lol2:
     
  3. psm026

    psm026 Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 26, 2003 Messages: 1,568 Likes Received: 37
    Im all for #9

    9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.


     
  4. MOE-LESTER

    MOE-LESTER Banned

    Joined: Apr 7, 2006 Messages: 2,954 Likes Received: 47
  5. Spruce Lee

    Spruce Lee Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 7, 2006 Messages: 1,798 Likes Received: 20
    18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

    haha
     
  6. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
    "6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies."

    Best one.
     
  7. Some1

    Some1 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 13, 2001 Messages: 14,835 Likes Received: 92
  8. Oliver Clothesoff

    Oliver Clothesoff Banned

    Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 10,898 Likes Received: 158
  9. Flavicon

    Flavicon Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 18, 2005 Messages: 2,367 Likes Received: 18
    anybody come up with a good one for #21?
     
  10. livetodestro

    livetodestro Member

    Joined: Jun 2, 2003 Messages: 515 Likes Received: 0
    Donkey-punches. Women love a man who's strong in bed.:beat:
     
  11. swedish erotica

    swedish erotica Banned

    Joined: Jan 17, 2006 Messages: 1,758 Likes Received: 2
  12. Flavicon

    Flavicon Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 18, 2005 Messages: 2,367 Likes Received: 18
    #21.

    Women love a man with an imagination. When she asks you what you're thinking, immediately say "roto rooting dat culo!"
     
  13. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 175
    not that it ever worked for me but... one time this guy said, if you end up in one of those akward situations where you sleep with a girl but with your clothes on, if you stay awake and then jerk off on her face then in the morning she'll be your girlfriend... this only worked like 7 out of 20 times I tried it but MAYBE i DID IT WRONG... oops, sorry abot the caps lock...
     
  14. ^ . ^

    ^ . ^ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Aug 13, 2003 Messages: 8,231 Likes Received: 72
    buncha casanovas :heartbeat:
     
  15. Hayabusa

    Hayabusa Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 7, 2006 Messages: 6,501 Likes Received: 209
    hahahaha #1 is wicked, among many
    ive used it a few times. it back fires tho. When u say could be better, some broads go on for hours raving about how they couldnt get their hair right that morning, or how they think theyr fat and shit:shakehead: be careful
     
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