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Kings, babes, gold, ninjas, heavy metal and more

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by DITDxCULT, Apr 24, 2002.


    DITDxCULT Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 1,192 Likes Received: 0
    The King's Gold/Babes

    In the olden days, there was this sweet king that had mounds of gold and babes.  These pirates decided to steal the mounds and surrounded the castle and everybody freaked, except the king who was like “Chill homies, I’ll handle this crap.” The pirates stood outside the castle walls and were like “You think you are so cool, but guess what, you’re not.  Good luck dying!”  Then the king replied “Yeah right.  How would you like to meet my best friends?” Then out of nowhere there was a small sound of a guitar wailing really really hard behind the hills.  The wailing started getting louder and louder and louder.  Then out of nowhere there was this one sweet ass ninja standing on top of a huge hill. Everybody was like “Woooooooooooow!”  He was wearing all black and he had this jet red guitar in his hands.  Then smoke smoked over the hills like trains.  But the smoke was ninjas.  And the pirates saw about a billion ninjas with guitars standing on top this his huge hill.  And they started to wail… When the ninjas wailed on their guitars, the pirates started spraying diarrhea on each other and loved it.  And when they wailed harder, the pirates sprayed harder.  As the ninjas sauntered down the hill, the pirates’ chests and butts exploded.  (They died from this.) Then the ninjas finally reached the boss pirate who was really huge.  Out of nowhere the boss pirate pulled out this baby banjo and tried to fiddle with it like a little baby-baby. The ninjas were like “Yeah right.” and all the billions of ninjas surrounded the boss pirate.  Half of the ninjas all combined to form the biggest guitar in the universe.The other half formed the second biggest boner in the universe.  Then the huge guitar pointed right at the pirate, who was like “Holy CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!”  Before the pirate could even do anything, the super boner slapped against the guitar making the hugest wail ever to happen anywhere ever.The pirate exploded so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had exploded and all of his grandparents exploded along with his neighbors and people who he merely said “hello” to. Then there was this huge concert at the castle.  All the babes in the castle morphed into this humongous female crotch.  The huge boner and crotch porked softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing.  And guess what, the king sat on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughed his frigg’n ass off about how stupid the pirates were.      
  2. dumpybottom

    dumpybottom Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2001 Messages: 951 Likes Received: 0
  3. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    that was golden

  4. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    maybe it's just me...

    but I prefer Pirates to Ninjas.
    There's all the ethics and codes of ninja work,
    but pirates are more freeform.
    They know a good party!
  5. platapie

    platapie Guest

    ninjas will fuck a pirate up anyday. they dont have scurvy and humo there bed mates. and there fuckign ninjas there trained to kill!
  6. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    but ninjas never get to have any fun!

    they dont steal gold, they dont rape, rob and pillage.
    The sure as hell dont get drunk and sing songs.

    Pirates get to yell 'Arrrrgghhhh' all the time,
    Ninjas dont even have a mouth.
    All they do is kill, sulk and meditate.

    It's a pirates life for me!
  7. platapie

    platapie Guest

    this is ture. but maybe kinjas have fun when no ones looking. liek when you trip how do you know it wasnt a ninja?
  8. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    getting tripped by ninja's sucks the big one!

    But how do you know that when you reach into your pocket
    and your cash is all gone, that it wasn't pirates?

    Dont get me wrong, Ninja's are cool, but they are all about honour.
    I'd prefer drunk, disorderly and dishonarable.
  9. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    best story ever written, Did you do that yourself or get it off that one site?
  10. platapie

    platapie Guest

    i knwo it wasnt a pirate caus ethere nto to sneaky there all loud and drunk. but i think thats what gives them there fun guy appeal liek jus having a good time. but i fall into the ninja lovers. and you the pirate lover. there both pretty cool.
  11. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! what the fuck?
  12. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    you know what would be super cool?

    a 'pirinja'

    He'll pull of his peg leg,
    then use it like nun-chucks.
    And then take your gold!
  13. Eski

    Eski Guest

    now that , was a cool story
  14. everybody has this misconception that ninjas are the same as samurai and follow bushido. ninjas are the pussies that couldn't hang w/ being as hard as a samurai and couldn't follow bushido, instead of killing themselves they turned to lives of less honor. they can still kick my ass, but they get way too much props.
  15. NoamChomsky

    NoamChomsky Guest

    Pirates are kewl.It's true,we ninjas are pretty focused on praticing our mad crazy ninja slicing and flying skills,but from time to time we like to grab a Michelob and kick back in front of the tube.NIP2K2.

    Favorite TV shows at the ninja fort:
    JAG(Catherine Bell,too serious!)
    MTV Cribs (We like to watch the show and see where all their cameras are so we can break in and house their shit easier.)
    BBC News(NIP is deeply concerned about foreign affairs.Political problems in a country= job oppurtunities for mad crazy ninja asassinations!)