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JUST IN: Philadelphia Public Library SHUT DOWN

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by 23578, Nov 20, 2002.

  1. 23578

    23578 Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2000 Messages: 2,521 Likes Received: 0
    4:48PM Wed. November 20th, 2002: In a drastic move today the Government seized the stacks of the Philadelphia Public Library, stating that finally, after two hundred and fifty years of free book lending, the publishing industry has won it's battle against one of the biggest book lending institution in the country. "These people have been lending books out to anybody without charge, indiscriminately", says an unidentified spokesperson for a major book publisher. "I was just sitting at the check out desk reading the paper when the marshals arrived and told me we were to 'shut it down'", says 53 year old Ruth Billington, librarian, and once avid cheese steak luncher. "These books were my livelyhood, what will I do now, my cat is going to starve to death if mommy doesn't find something quickly", she laments. At 53, Ruth isn't prepared to enter the real world, "I don't remember the last time I was actually asked to make something, but if you want to know where to find the latest Sidney Sheldon novel, or the address for Peterson's Potash Supply in Wacachucka, Minnesota, just ask me." Whoa, no longer, the books aren't for just anyone anymore. When asked what will happen to all the books, the taskforce leader speculates, "they will probably be quarrantined for such and such a time, then maybe they will sit while we figure out their best possible deployment", a daunting task with libraries in every town in 50 states. When told of the event, the head librarian of the NYC Public Library System, Bill Sanderson, was openly defiant, "Yo, just let them come and try to take my books. . .we aren't going out that easy". No, Bill, I don't believe you will.
  2. Dyptheria

    Dyptheria Guest

    mmmm, okay. enough national enquirer crap
  3. 23578

    23578 Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2000 Messages: 2,521 Likes Received: 0
    You know me dude, always with the National Enquirer crap, what can I say to defend myself there, um, screw you nerd.:rolleyes:
  4. sneak

    sneak Guest

  5. !@#$%

    [email protected]#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 623
    lemme guess...

    another gem from The Onion?
  6. sneak

    sneak Guest

    or perhaps, the govt actually shut it down
  7. ctrl+alt+del

    ctrl+alt+del Guest

    chew gum while reading
  8. thank god
    i have an book that was due back 2.5 years ago...
  9. !@#$%

    [email protected]#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 623
    yeah, adn gullable isn't in the dictionary..
  10. Intangible

    Intangible 12oz Legend

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 17,479 Likes Received: 7
    Since when!?!? ;)
  11. 23578

    23578 Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2000 Messages: 2,521 Likes Received: 0
    ?guess again?
  12. sneak

    sneak Guest

    really? never knew that one...