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It feels good to laugh...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by guerillaeye, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. guerillaeye

    guerillaeye 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    1,473

    It feels good to laugh...

    Discussion started by guerillaeye - Aug 22, 2005

    LITTLE MICHAEL ON MATH

    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
    and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
    little MICHAEL.>< BR>>He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
    first gunshot."

    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
    thinking."

    Then little MICHAEL says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3
    women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately
    licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
    is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is
    biting off the top of the ice cream.
    Which one is married?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
    one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

    To which Little MICHAEL replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
    the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

    LITTLE MICHAEL ON MATH

    Little MICHAEL returns from school and says he got an F in
    arithmetic.

    "Why?" asks the father?

    "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies MICHAEL.

    "But that's right!" says his dad.

    "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

    "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

    "That's what I said!"

    LITTLE MICHAEL ON ENGLISH

    Little MICHAEL goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
    going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
    example of a multi-syllable word?"

    MICHAEL says "Mas-tur-bate."

    Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little MICHAEL, that's a
    mouthful."

    Little MICHAEL says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

    LITTLE MICHAEL ON GRAMMAR

    Little MICHAEL was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
    needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need
    to take a piss!!"

    The teacher replied, "Now, MICHAEL, that is NOT the proper word to
    use in this situation. The cor! rect wor d you want to use is
    'urinate'. Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly,
    and I will allow you to go."

    Little MICHAEL, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,
    but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

    LITTLE MICHAEL ON GRAMMAR

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
    show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the
    same sentence twice.

    First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
    bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in
    it."

    "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
    Roger.

    "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
    beautifully."

    She said, "Excellent, Roger!" Then the teacher reluctantly
    called on little MICHAEL.

    "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
    was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"

    LITTLE MICHAEL ON GETTING OLDER

    Little MICHAEL was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
    after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from
    him said,

    "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
    give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat"

    Little MICHAEL replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
    The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

    Little MICHAEL answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.
     
    guerillaeye - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  2. WhereEaglesDare

    WhereEaglesDare 12oz Member

    Joined:
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    666

    WhereEaglesDare - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    I got a great joke....






























    .....THIS THREAD!!!!
     
    WhereEaglesDare - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  3. spoi1 system

    spoi1 system 12oz Member

    Joined:
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    284

    spoi1 system - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    i'll take a stab for a post!
     
    spoi1 system - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  4. gren1 bnc

    gren1 bnc 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    1,010

    gren1 bnc - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    i didnt laugh. the thread is a good idea if it doesnt get closed.
     
    gren1 bnc - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  5. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Messages:
    20,499

    iloveboxcars - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    a brunette redhead and blonde all run into a store at once, they run up to the man at the cash register and ask for a place to hide, he says sure and gives each one a burlap sack. soon after men run in with guns and ask if he saw the 3 girls. the employee says no, he hasnt seen anyone. they ask if they can look around and he says be my guest. they run across the burlap sacks and think they are shaped funny, they kick the sack with the brunette in it she goes "ruff ruff".. they say ok, it's just a dog, they move on to the next one, the one with the redhead in it. they kick it and she goes "squeel squeel".. they move on thinking there's a pig in there. they get to the bag with the blonde in it, kick it and the blonde goes "potatoes"
     
    iloveboxcars - Rank: 12oz Royalty - Messages:
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  6. 5iveDee

    5iveDee 12oz Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2005
    Messages:
    314

    5iveDee - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    Little MICHAEL was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
    after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from
    him said,

    "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
    give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat"

    Little MICHAEL replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
    The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

    Little MICHAEL answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.

    hahahahahhahahahahaha
    *
    Ill post up some later *reserves
     
    5iveDee - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  7. JohnnyHorton

    JohnnyHorton 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2002
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    2,201

    JohnnyHorton - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    JohnnyHorton - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
    2,201
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    Apr 2, 2002
  8. Steve Miller

    Steve Miller 12oz Member

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    Jul 8, 2005
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    867

    Steve Miller - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    girl pants and spin kicks.
     
    Steve Miller - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  9. ODS-1

    ODS-1 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2003
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    3,575

    ODS-1 - Replied Aug 22, 2005

    This thread sucks. Except for the iloveboxcars joke. That was okay.
     
    ODS-1 - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  10. LETTERFED

    LETTERFED New Jack

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2005
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    51

    LETTERFED - Replied Aug 23, 2005

    i don't usually laugh by myself, but yo....
     
    LETTERFED - Rank: New Jack - Messages:
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  11. Gunm

    Gunm Banned

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    12,427

    Gunm - Replied Aug 23, 2005

    ha ha hga
     
    Gunm - Rank: Banned - Messages:
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  12. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Dirty_habiT - Replied Aug 23, 2005

    It's fixin to get real punchy in here.
     
    Dirty_habiT - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  13. krie

    krie Guest

    krie - Replied Aug 23, 2005

    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
     
  14. Pfffffffffft

    Pfffffffffft Moderator Crew

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2004
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    15,344

    Pfffffffffft - Replied Sep 3, 2005


    one of KRIEs last few post.

    :(
     
    Pfffffffffft - Rank: Moderator Crew - Messages:
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  15. __ __ __ __

    __ __ __ __ 12oz Elite Member

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    3,907

    __ __ __ __ - Replied Sep 3, 2005

    WORD....

    RIP.
     
    __ __ __ __ - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
    3,907
    - Joined:
    Aug 31, 2003