Welcome!

By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.

  1. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum...
    You are currently logged out and viewing our forum as a guest which only allows limited access to our discussions, photos and other forum features. If you are a 12ozProphet Member please login to get the full experience.

    If you are not a 12ozProphet Member, please take a moment to register to gain full access to our website and all of its features. As a 12ozProphet Member you will be able to post comments, start discussions, communicate privately with other members and access members-only content. Registration is fast, simple and free, so join today and be a part of the largest and longest running Graffiti, Art, Style & Culture forum online.

    Please note, if you are a 12ozProphet Member and are locked out of your account, you can recover your account using the 'lost password' link in the login form. If you no longer have access to the email you registered with, please email us at info@12ozprophet.com and we'll help you recover your account. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum (and don't forget to follow @12ozprophet in Instagram)!

Iron-Hymen

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by synaps, Jul 19, 2005.

  1. synaps

    synaps Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 8, 2002 Messages: 1,644 Likes Received: 0
    http://ironhymen.com/





     
  2. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
  3. fatalist

    fatalist Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 10, 2004 Messages: 6,354 Likes Received: 25
  4. synaps

    synaps Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 8, 2002 Messages: 1,644 Likes Received: 0
    [​IMG]

    I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

    1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it's just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)

    2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.

    3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.

    4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

    5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.

    I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:

    Forcing my wonderful parents to use "tough love" and kick me out of the house for embarrassing them by being such a little whore.

    Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with their sicko "love."
     
  5. synaps

    synaps Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 8, 2002 Messages: 1,644 Likes Received: 0


    what in the fuck
     
  6. fatalist

    fatalist Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 10, 2004 Messages: 6,354 Likes Received: 25
     
  7. fatalist

    fatalist Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 10, 2004 Messages: 6,354 Likes Received: 25
    4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.



    THIS HAD ME ROLLING! :haha:
     
  8. MAGS156

    MAGS156 Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 4, 2005 Messages: 1,034 Likes Received: 1


    what in the fuck
    [post=4039018]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    only a whore would wear open-toed shoes
     
  9. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    it is my new mission to conquer all women who might wear the iron hymen thong
     
  10. JohnnyHorton

    JohnnyHorton Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 2, 2002 Messages: 2,201 Likes Received: 0
    :lol:
     
  11. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
    They forgot "never get a tattoo which sits right above my ass in the lower back region" Oh yeah, its the mark of the beast(tramp)
     
  12. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    http://www.sexisforfags.com/

    [​IMG]

    Having sex is NOT cool, no matter what the mainstream liberal media tells you. Girls' vaginas are just like venus flytraps: multi-fanged jaws waiting for your tasty bits to slither into their poisonous quicksand. So no matter how much it seems to hurt not to find solace in sticky backseat groping sessions, don't give in to temptation. But how? Simple! Just get heavy into these ten awesome sex-avoidance activities!

    1. STUDY FOR SCHOOL!
    Hitting the old books is a great way to counteract the nasty hormones bubbling through your smelly parts. Because the last thing any cool boy wants to be is that dude who was so obsessed with scoring a "home run," that he grew up to become a PCP-snorting janitor who caught genital leprosy from a dead homeless woman. Wanna be President instead? Sure, you'll need a perfect 2.5 GPA, but who wouldn't rather bury his nose in a moldy encyclopedia instead of some old nasty girly thighs?

    2. JOIN A BOY SCOUT TROOP!
    As your awkward, gangly body begins to grow – your muscles blooming, your willowy penis thickening into a sturdy tool, you need the guidance of a middle-aged man who likes to play dress-up and go camping in the woods with hordes of young boys. Then at night, when you're Indian Wrestling wearing the traditional bison hide thong and nothing else, you'll find your burning hunger for "squaw beaver" will flicker out like a citronella candle choked with dead skeeters!

    3. PLAY FOOTBALL!
    Nothing gets icky premarital sex off the brain better than an impromptu game of touch football with your Sex is for Fags brothers. Sinful thoughts dissipate like magic while you writhe under a pile of your buddies' taut high school bodies, bulging zippers grazing firm buttocks, touching, tackling, and wrestling. Then afterwards, you can all take a long, hot, group shower and talk about baseball!

    4. GET A PIT BULL!
    There is nothing more wholesome than a boy and his dog. And at night, when the sin fairies are tickling your shame buds, you can distract yourself by training your bitch to grow up and kill: shaving her, kicking her when she makes on the carpet, and punching her snout so hard she learns never to whine during the rad 7th Heaven reruns which reinforce your awesome "abstinence-only" lifestyle choice.

    5. BULLY SOME SISSY!
    You know that kid in school who dresses a little too well and has lots of platonic "girlfriends"? Yeah, the one who once wore green on Thursday and listens to Britney? Wait for him after school, and once he's walked out of Drama Club, crack him in the kidneys with a golf club. If no one's around, do it again. For good measure, sit on his face and tell him what a homo he is. Of course, you might feel a little worked up after this, so it's okay to take a ball peen hammer to your testicles for relief.

    6. PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
    Spending countless hours playing Halo 2, Doom 3 or Medal of Honor helps you focus on the important things in life, like computer-generated mass murder. It's a valuable skill set, especially for those looking to pursue a career in the military – a noble profession where one blissfully marinates with men in tight spaces for months on end. So the next time your man-pipes rumble, simply take your desires to touch, grope, and melt into another human being, and funnel them into a wholesome virtual homicidal bloodbath!

    7. DESTROY STUFF!
    Tapping in to the zen clarity of senseless destruction is a wonderful way to forget all about the lure of disgusting girls and their sissy privates. Yes, whether it's smashing windows in a vacationing neighbor's house, imploding the heads of Barbie dolls with the business end of an aluminum baseball bat, or setting a hotwired bulldozer loose in an unattended construction site, you and your Sex is for Fags pals will have a majorly cool time purging vile, pornographic fantasies from your testosterone-ravaged minds!

    8. DRAG RACE!
    Have you ever spent hours transfixed by logo-encrusted NASCAR rigs driving in circles, and wondered how come none of the drivers are chicks? Simple, because driving is a man's job. So what better way to forget all about fruity girls than by doing the stuff that is forever closed to them? Besides, you're not really a man until you and your Sex is for Fags brothers sneak out in your dads' luxury SUVs every weekend for a winner-takes-all tournament of 90 MPH "chicken" – played late at night on winding, one-lane dirt roads!

    9. GET A JOB!
    Ask any smart middle-aged dude and he'll tell you: sure, sex may be faggy, but it's also super-expensive! But don't take their word for it. Get yourself a dreary, after-school job as an anonymous drone in some soulless corporation that leeches the life right out of you, then see how much you like parting with your hard-earned money just to buy nice presents for some uppity bimbo who's been so warped by liberalism that she has be bribed into filling her God-given role of servicing your unit. Trust us: you'll be all "No way!"

    10. SENSORY DEPRIVATION!
    Put on five layers of super-baggy clothes, then lock yourself in the closet – along with lots of paper towels for soaking up your urine. While you're there, pray to Christ for guidance – because Jesus hung out with tons of whores, and He never, ever did "it". And why not? So that when He swoops down from heaven in His kickin' white Cadillac Escalade, He'll be able to ID all the sluts and flash-fry them with His laser-beam headlights!
     
  13. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
  14. dead sentiment

    dead sentiment Member

    Joined: Nov 29, 2004 Messages: 422 Likes Received: 0
    hahaha....

    on a serious tip- its awful how some religious types think that they have surpassed humanity and somehow something like sex, that is natural, has become bad. no wonder our society is so messed... people are raised being told that sex is bad, and then turn into mega-freaks that rape children.
     
  15. dead sentiment

    dead sentiment Member

    Joined: Nov 29, 2004 Messages: 422 Likes Received: 0
    lucky #7
     
Top