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in my mind and nailed into my heels...rob

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Sep 13, 2002.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

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    in my mind and nailed into my heels...rob

    Discussion started by mental invalid - Sep 13, 2002

    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of September 12, 2002

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    "Before we can receive the unbiased truth about anything," wrote my teacher Ann Davies, "we have to be ready to ignore what we would like to be true." Are you prepared to do that, Aries? Nothing will heal your frustration or dissolve your tension better than getting to the bottom of the enigmas that are pressing up against you. But there's no way you can earn that deliverance unless you bravely set aside your fantasies, theories, and opinions about what this is all about.



    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    Please repeat the following health-giving affirmations until you are totally committed to carrying them out: "In the next seven days, I will wash no dishes, do no laundry, and make no beds. I'll devote myself to exploring every clue, throb, and blip that captivates my imagination. I'll lower the barrier between my conscious and unconscious minds. I'll follow the smells I like. I'll listen closely to my body. I'll be kind to nobodies. I'll be wildly peaceful, fiercely tender, and brilliantly sensitive. I'll actually kiss the earth. I'll listen to music that awakens unfamiliar emotions. I'll call out to the night sky, 'I defy you, stars.' And unless I can give my whole heart, I won't offer it at all."


    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    One of these days I hope you'll try on the idea that's at the core of my life: pronoia. The opposite of paranoia, pronoia is the unshakable conviction that life is a vast conspiracy to liberate you from suffering, make you really smart, and shower you with blessings. It's not as simple as it might initially appear, however. For instance, the blessings flowing your way may not be the exact ones you imagine you want and deserve. They might even annoy or confuse you when they first show up. On the other hand, if you welcome the blessings you're actually given, they will ultimately serve you better than any you'd expected. I bring this up, Gemini, because you'll soon be offered a kind of grace that fits this description.


    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    As you grow older, you will become less enslaved by the negative imprints of your early childhood; you'll become increasingly free from the distortions your soul suffered at the hands of your kin. At the same time, your advancing years will bring a wonderful perk: You'll be able to harvest ever-greater amounts of the valuable gifts bequeathed to you by your relatives, both those with whom you shared your early years and those who died before you were born. In other words, Cancerian, as you age you will gradually cast off your family's bad stuff and become better able to exploit its good stuff. And I bet the next five weeks will be a turning point in this process.



    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    If your life had a title this week, it might be something like, "The Correlation Between the Quasi-Newton-Kantovich Methods for the Multiple Solutions of the Nonlinear Operator Equations and the Quadratic Convergence of Primal-Dual Interior Point Degenerate Linear Programming Algorithms." Then again, a more apt title might be, "The Correlation between Patiently Plowing through a Bunch of Boring Nonsense and Getting to the Juicy Reward That's Hidden on the Other Side." Now let me ask you a question, Leo. As you read through the first title, did your eyes glaze over and your attention wane so badly that you wanted to stop reading? If so, you've got to build up your patience muscles. Your imminent future will resemble the structure of this horoscope.



    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    It's one of your inalienable rights as a human being to receive a mysteriously useful omen every day. Logic alone isn't sufficient to guide you through life's labyrinthine tests, after all. You need and deserve regular deliveries of divine revelation. Unfortunately, our culture is so hostile to the sense of wonder that it's hard for any of us to get our minimum daily requirement of magic. The good news is that in the coming weeks your path will bring you into the vicinity of more signs and marvels than usual. Just assume that you'll receive a mysteriously useful omen every day.



    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    A disease has been ravaging the oak trees where I live. One of my favorite hiking trails takes me past a hard-hit area. While a number of the trees in this graveyard are clearly deceased, there are a few in a curious limbo state. At the ends of large rotting branches, straggling bits of green sprout here and there amidst the mostly withered husks of leaves. I wonder if this might serve as a metaphor for the dead part of your life, Libra? Are you being fooled into holding on to false hope by a last-gasp of feeble growth? I suggest it's time to accept the truth.



    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    Dear Pioneer: In the coming weeks, you will be invited to explore moods and states of awareness that are new to you. Given the frontiers you'll be crossing, you may need to enlarge your vocabulary in order to understand what's happening. Here are a few terms that may come in handy: 1. chantepleure: to sing and weep simultaneously. 2. chiaroscurofy: to find a comfortable place where you are partially in darkness and partially illuminated, or half in shadow and half in sunlight. 3. ahahawhaw: to laugh uproariously and exclaim "aha!" simultaneously. 4. wowallelujah: a surge of uncanny intuitions that comes while waking up from sleep or ignorance.


    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    British poet Donna McLean has tried to patent herself. She took the unusual step in response to biotechnology companies that are buying up exclusive rights to certain sequences of human DNA. "It has taken 30 years of hard labor for me to discover and invent myself," McLean wrote in her application, "and now I wish to protect my invention from unauthorized exploitation, genetic or otherwise." You may not need to go as far as she has, Sagittarius, but it's high time you carried out a comparable ritual. Want a suggestion? Create a formal-looking document on which you swear an oath like this: "I am in full possession of all my natural and supernatural rights; my destiny is completely in my hands; I own my own life." (Please feel free to create more clauses to add to this pledge.)


    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    When we hear someone described as having a good imagination, most of us assume that person must be in the arts. But in fact, some of the world's most creative visualizers are architects, inventors, city-planners, engineers, bridge-makers, and the like: nuts-and-bolts master-builders who design functional things. Of this group, you Capricorns make up a disproportionately high percentage. In fact, it seems that the members of your tribe are usually most imaginative when it comes to transforming practical matters and vivifying concrete details. In the coming weeks, that'll be true in spades.


    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    Rhonda Jones, a reader from Augusta, Georgia, sent me one of the greatest toasts I've ever been honored to receive: "May you get what you want and still want it." Now, Aquarius, I relay this toast to you -- just in time for your Season of Gratified Desire, when you're more likely to get what you want than at any other time this year. I wish and pray and predict that you will soon be endowed with the answer to your dreams, and will be more excited than ever before as you bask in the afterglow.



    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    The art of listening gets no respect and has few masters. Who has the time and energy, let alone the humility and sensitivity, to be fully receptive to someone else's narratives? Most people prefer to express their own amazing ideas and tell the stories of their own fascinating lives. That's why I regularly pay an expert $85 an hour to listen to me. She gives me her undivided attention and asks great questions as I ramble on. She keeps track of the ongoing plotlines that unfold over the months, and even gives me thought-provoking feedback. Personally, I think everyone deserves an ally like this all the time. But it's especially important for you right now, Pisces. You need the healing inspiration that only an intelligent listener can provide.
     
    mental invalid - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  2. beardo

    beardo Guest

    beardo - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    goddamn tree diseases again..
     
  3. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

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    mental invalid - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    seriously though, recently they found out that it was infecting the redwoods too...they are now not sure what types of trees it will affect...but 90% of hikers coming out of a certain woods where they were doing tests, had the spores on the bottom of their boots....could mom nature be biting back...

    see the redwoods people......
     
    mental invalid - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  4. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    WebsterUno - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    *believe*

    "Are you being fooled into holding
    on to false hope by a last-gasp of
    feeble growth? I suggest it's time
    to accept the truth."


    I guess its time to move on.
     
  5. SCAGNETTI

    SCAGNETTI New Jack

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    SCAGNETTI - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    ASTROLOGY IS GAYER THAN RELIGION

    QUOTE OF THE YEAR CHIEF, MAKE IT STICKY FAGGOT
     
    SCAGNETTI - Rank: New Jack - Messages:
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  6. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    WebsterUno - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    ...and Marlboros
    usually get SMOKED!
     
  7. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

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    mental invalid - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    quote of the year eh?

    well alrite bonerparte, if you say so.....but i doubt itll get it stickied
     
    mental invalid - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  8. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    BROWNer - Replied Sep 13, 2002

    haha.