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*~Illustrated Karate Lessons By Tesseract...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by imported_Tesseract, Jul 26, 2002.

  1. http://www.fuckthebuff.com/tesseract/introkick.jpg'>




    [color=none][SIZE=2][b]++ Lesson 1 ++[/b][/color][/SIZE]
    [b]Backseat Scrag Attempt[/b]



    [img]http://www.fuckthebuff.com/tesseract/frame1.jpg'>

    [b]...Situation:[/b]

    Its been a hard days work, all you dream off is to return home, lay back and watch kojak, before you even turn the engine dude pops from the back seat and throws what he thinks is a judo grip(ha!)...your moves are limited...

    [img]http://www.fuckthebuff.com/tesseract/frame2.jpg'>

    [b]...Reaction[/b]

    Flex your neck muscles and put your feet steady on the carfloor. Twist your body to the left, immediately pull his left arm down and with a confident facial expression rise your right hand in the form of what is called a "knivehand"....see the expression on his face?....thats what regrets look like(ha!ha!)

    [img]http://www.fuckthebuff.com/tesseract/frame3.jpg'>

    ...Put more power on your left hand as you lean left, moving your head away from his right elbow...Move your 'knivehand' towards his face, aiming at his eyes, at this point dude looks real stupid, HE'S NOT!, this man is VICIOUS, he's an A class hitman and he's payed preety damn good to kill you. As a matter of fact killing you would be piece of cake if you didnt knew this essential karate lesson(ha!ha!ha!)

    [img]http://www.fuckthebuff.com/tesseract/frame4.jpg'>

    ...Hit him repeatedly in the eyes, he now feels the pain...he should have known better than to fuck with one of my students(ha!ha!ha!ha!)




    [b]++ Step by Step ++[/b]
    [i]...Get it right son[/i]
    [img]http://www.fuckthebuff.com/tesseract/wonk.gif'>
     
  2. greedy mars

    greedy mars Guest

    hell yes.. tesseracts kick ass thread rules.

    now i can defend myself. when im in the car and my drunk friend in the backseat wants to drive and trys to take over
     
  3. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Oh my God ... you rule, Tesser.
     
  4. Greedy son, be patient till next weeks lesson, until then...wax on, wax off
     
  5. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
  6. evilistic

    evilistic Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2001 Messages: 3,554 Likes Received: 0
    im gonna kick me some asss.
    now all i need is a car
     
  7. cornelius

    cornelius Member

    Joined: Nov 3, 2001 Messages: 816 Likes Received: 0
    i must go to the dojo and meditate on this.. once i have mastered this skill, i will be one step closer to becoming a true samurai warrior..
     
  8. •nakone•

    •nakone• Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2002 Messages: 967 Likes Received: 0
  9. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,066 Likes Received: 24
    "wonk saggin"
     
  10. platapie

    platapie Guest

    tesseract is asian.
     
  11. ctrl+alt+del

    ctrl+alt+del Guest

    awesome, cant wait till the next installment. ill be practicing till then.
     
  12. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,358 Likes Received: 298
    wonk slwothgin
     
  13. :lol:
     
  14. zen

    zen New Jack

    Joined: Sep 20, 2001 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    judo chop chop!
     
  15. jah

    jah Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 30, 2001 Messages: 2,705 Likes Received: 2
    dude, its all about shaolin kung fu. a shaolin monk would kick the shit out of a ninja. teach me shaolin kung fu.
     
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