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if i was a big time celebrity...


seeking

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i would hold press confrences for the absolute most ridiculous shit.

like, i would act all serious, like i was gonna announce some big thing, then just go off about how much i like ethiopean food. and i would field questions about my favorite dishes, and i'd share some of my favorite eating experiences. and i'd act all serious, like john malkovich or christopher walken. it would be hot.... and i spose i could only pull it off once a year or so, perhaps more if i held alot of real press conferences, but still. for those couple times, it would be very worth the effort of wasting everyones time.

 

 

ps. i would hold the press confrences in my garage, while sitting in one of my many luxury automobiles.

 

 

thats all.

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walken is serious?

 

You know that if you jerk the press around too much they'll

just stop covering you like they did with Denis Rodman. They

got sick of his stunts and decided to say 'Forget him'.

 

Or you'd end up like Tim Robbins / Susan Sarandon who seem

to hop onto any cause they choose to support as if the people

actually care about what celebs think. People care more about

Pam Andersons current chest size and who Russel Crowe is plugging.

 

 

but yeah... do it in your garage.... in coveralls!

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Guest imported_Europe

Seek, you should hold online press conferences here on 12oz. Like post a sticky a week before and let everyone know something major is gonna happen...

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I'd live in wooden shack with no heat or air conditioning,reading Guns and Ammo on the porch over by the outhouse,have a 4x4 Rolls Royce and 20 broads to mow my lawn.

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i would host a press conference to announce when and where i would be taking a shit next.i would make it my "trademark" to take a shit in pricey restaurant bathrooms and write reviews of the experience in my quarterly magazine entitled, "i give a shit quarterly."

 

no, no i wouldn't. i have to take a shit, now...excuse me.

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well i suppose you are all wondering what Mr.Yuck would do if he were a celebrity. Seeing as how Mr.Yuck is a ficticious character, a figment of your imagination if you will, the real question you should be asking is "What would the man behind Mr.Yuck do if he were a celebrity?"

 

The man behind Mr.Yuck would be smoking in the non-smoking section of an upscale restaurant pooh-poohing the waiter for his lack of knowledge of the extensive wine list. His feet would surely be kicked up on the table and he would taunt fellow patrons of the establishment by saying things such as "Wanna fight, bitch?" You might aslo catch him doing things like tucking the table cloth into his shirt so as not to get any crumbs on his wife beater. By the time the evening comes to an end, the man behind Mr.Yuck would be intoxicated to the max from frequent trips to the restroom where he would smoke crank, pop some pills and wash it down with 4 or 5 other drugs of your choice.

 

Thank you for reading.

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