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i think you guys will like this (political humor)

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by rubbish heap, Aug 3, 2004.

  1. rubbish heap

    rubbish heap Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 18, 2003 Messages: 1,563 Likes Received: 2
    things you have to believe to be a republican today:

    > Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of
    > homosexuals
    > and Hillary Clinton.
    >
    > Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
    > guy
    > when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when
    > Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush
    > needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
    >
    > Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
    > Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
    > to a spirit of international harmony.
    >
    > The United States should get out of the United
    > Nations, and our highest national priority is
    > enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
    >
    > A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
    > own
    > body, but multi-national corporations can make
    > decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
    >
    > The best way to improve military morale is to praise
    > the troops in speeches while slashing veterans'
    > benefits and combat pay.
    >
    > If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents
    > won't
    > have sex.
    >
    > A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
    > long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and
    > money.
    >
    > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
    > Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
    >
    > HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests
    > of the public at heart.
    >
    > Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
    > science, but creationism should be taught in
    > schools.
    >
    > A president lying about an extramarital affair is a
    > impeachable offense.
    >
    > A president lying to enlist support for a war in
    > which
    > thousands die is solid defense policy.
    >
    > Government should limit itself to the powers named
    > in
    > the Constitution, which include banning gay
    > marriages
    > and censoring the Internet.
    >
    > The public has a right to know about Hillary's
    > cattle
    > trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of
    > our business.
    >
    > Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
    > unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's
    > an
    > illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
    >
    > You support states' rights, which means Attorney
    > General John Ashcroft can tell states what local
    > voter
    > initiatives they have the right to adopt.
    >
    > What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital
    > national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is
    > irrelevant.
    >
    > Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to
    > at
    > least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with
    > Bush for 4 more years.
    >
    > Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
     
  2. ClueTwo

    ClueTwo Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 30, 2001 Messages: 9,016 Likes Received: 117
    Nuff Said..
     
  3. !@#$%

    [email protected]#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 621
  4. panic

    panic Member

    Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 459 Likes Received: 0
    im not american, but i still laughed.:lol:
     
  5. SIPPINJUICE

    SIPPINJUICE Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 9, 2003 Messages: 173 Likes Received: 0
    "Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery."
    haha
     
  6. Daddy Screw

    Daddy Screw Member

    Joined: Jun 15, 2002 Messages: 551 Likes Received: 29
    That was dope. I laughed.
     
  7. GamblersGrin

    GamblersGrin Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 24, 2003 Messages: 3,243 Likes Received: 16
    a lot of good ones in there. seriously though, why do the republicans have such a fixation w/ the clintons???
     
  8. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
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