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I KNEW THIS WAS GUNA HAPPEN


tEkRoCkS

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yea, this board has been steadily going downhill for quite some time now. annoying cheese balls get on here and just fudge it all up. and now this "secret" threads it just the latest annoying thing to happen with many more to follow. i think i probably would care buabout what was goin on in them but most people on here suck so most of those threads suck too, just some simple mathematics...DONT TRIP. SHAKE THEM HATERS OFF.

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did someone say trip?

 

are people getting pissed off yet?

 

"Dock woke up late. Why shouldn't he? As far as he knew, the team had an off day and he planned to take full advantage of it. Three hits of LSD were ready and waiting in the refrigerator."

 

"A few minutes later, his girlfriend returned with coffee, donuts, and the morning paper. At noon, they dropped acid. Dock put on a record, while his girlfriend read the paper."

 

"Dock, it says here you're pitching today!"

 

"Whaaaa...? said Dock groggily. He snatched the paper, scanned the box scores, and read:

 

PITTSBURGH AT PADRES

DOUBLEHEADER

(6 P.M.) - Ellis (4-4) vs.

Roberts (3-3)

(LW, 1993)

 

"That's when it was $9.50 to fly to San Diego. She got me to the airport at 3:30. I got there at 4:30, and the game started at 6:05pm. It was a twi-night doubleheader. (HT, 1987)

 

 

He makes it to the game and after having someone help him find his locker, he suits up and enters the game.

 

 

"Dave Roberts, the Padres' pitcher, had an easy first inning, ending with Roberto Clemente hitting one back to the box. Dock marched to the mound, wondering if he'd last the inning. (LW, 1993)

 

"His fingers tingled as he squeezed the ball. He squinted to see catcher Jerry May's hand signals. He nodded his head and went into his windup, falling slightly off balance in the process. The ball hit the ground about two feet in front of the plate and skipped into May's glove.

 

"May signaled for a fastball outside. Dock wound up and threw a hot one over the the corner of the plate - a swinging strike! In was no ordinary pitch: The ball burst from Dock's hand and left a blazing, cometlike tail that remained visible long after the ball was caught.

 

"Dock felt wobbly on the mound and his stomach was churning with acid cramps. His concentration, however, was superb. As long as he kept to his fastball, the comets kept burning across the plate. All he had to do was steer the ball down the multicolored path. Dock had a crazed look in his eyes and his lack of control was evident to the batters, many of whom were feeling increasingly vulnerable in the batter's box. Dock easily retired three batters in a row [in the second inning]. (HT, 1987)

 

I was zeroed in on the (catcher's) glove, but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard and never reached me." (LW, 1993)

The seventh inning:

 

 

"The Pirates were clinging to their 1-0 lead. Dock was staring at the scoreboard when he realized he'd pitched hitless ball for seven innings. He smacked Cash on the arm.

 

"Hey, look," said Dock, pointing at the scoreboard. "I've got a no-no going!"

 

Cash gave him a blank look. "A no-no?" asked Cash. He'd never heard the term before. But Cash wanted to keep the pitcher loose and happy, so he smiled and said nothing.

 

 

Doc Ellis went on to finished the game without a hit. The Pirates won the game, 2-0, despite Ellis walking eight batters. Dock had a pretty good year in 1970. He went 13-10, and helped the Pirates win their first of three divisional championships. The fact that he pitched his no-hitter on LSD was not revealed until April 8, 1984.

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