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I don't know what to name this thread,

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by imported_El Mamerro, Jan 27, 2005.

  1. I'm taking advantage of my not having to work today (see the "Hot Shit/Not Shit thread for details) to post a picture thread. First off is my best friend/pseudo-sister Karla's birthday in her posh penthouse apartment. Good old fashioned drunkeness.


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    Birthday girl doing the robot.



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    She got hammered and humped chicks as usual. It's always great.​
     
  2. [​IMG]

    Afterwards we moved to my house, where Bob, after swallowing an entire bottle of Sambuca, proceeded to collapse in my driveway.



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    I tried spraying him with car engine cleaning solution.



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    Karla tried reasoning with him.



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    Even his girlfriend had a rough time getting him up.



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    Meanwhile, inside, my hair was exhibiting a peculiar sponge-like appearance...



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    And this guy was wearing a shirt that seriously compromised his apparent sexuality...



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    And it seduced my dad.




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    Bob managed to get up for some water.



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    I have known Bob for many years, witnessed hundreds of his wastings, and seen myriads of his rad faces, and I have NEVER seen him with eyes as hurting as this.













































































































































































































































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  3. The following weekend was Three King's Day, which is pretty much our "real" Christmas holiday. This meant a 4-day weekend, perfect for an extended getaway somewhere. We settled on Bob's aunt's house in Culebra, the island that hosts all our Labor Day Weekend boat extravaganzas. We bought a complete assload of food and booze, and were gonna roll up about 13 or so deep.

    Problem: Very shitty weather was expected for those days, along with really bad seas and small craft advisory. Almost half the people pussied out, but the core team held on. We decided to send the girls on the ferry with the backpacks and clothes, while Bob, Juancho, and me would attempt to cross the 20-mile stretch in Juancho's boat, a 21' Sea Pro (the boat featured in my last photo thread) and take the food and booze. Small boat, but heavy and sturdy, we thought it'd be able to handle the 8-foot seas.

    Coming out of the harbor we get a call from the girls saying that the ferry, a 100+ foot craft, was rocking about like a rusty rollercoaster, that we would get pummeled. We got about 7 miles out before we decided that if we kept going, there were two possible outcomes for us: 1) After about 2 and a half hours, we would arrive in Culebra completely battered but victorious, or 2) We'd sleep with the fishes. The seas were more like 10-12 feet and were completely beating us to shit, with the boat tearing headfirst into waves way taller than the boat itself, the weight of the cargo up front preventing us from riding over them. We were getting totally soaked, couldn't see a goddamn thing in front of us, and it got really, really scary. We waited for a slight lull in the onslaught, pulled off a pretty hair-raising turnaround (get hit solidly by a big wave on your side and you're prone to rolling over), and headed back to the mainland to revise our plans. We waited a couple of hours and took the ferry, the three of us hauling an unbelievably heavy load. It fucking sucked but we got there safely... and boatless. Well, actually, the house had a beat-up 19-footer, but we'd have to take two trips to move everyone to the beaches, and that's tough on gas.

    It wasn't super sunny, but it hardly even rained. We spent most of the time chilling on the house, which was fucking AMAZING, a perfect beach house (one bedroom, one bathroom, little attic with more beds, big living room/kitchen, porch, located on a secluded bay, had it's own dock, etc.), getting wasted and eating like pigs. It was great, a lot chiller than our usual intense outings, but no less fun.

    So for this we have the following soundtrack: "Wiki Wiki", by Yaviah, who you might remember from the all-time DPC classic, "La Máquina". Downtempo and sleazy, just like this particular weekend. Enjoy.




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    The kitchen/dining/living room.




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    We were tired as fuck the day we got there... only Juancho, who we have long classified as a full-fledged raging alcoholic, wanted to drink. motherfucker wouldn't let me sleep. But it's all right, cause the next two nights it was our turn.
     
  4. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    mams.... you need to injure yourself way more often!
     
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    Of course, he was the only one with a hangover the following day. We spent the day on the 19-footer at a pretty secluded and hard-to-get-to beach. We'd been there for five minutes when out of the bushes comes out a couple, who apparently had been hiking for hours inland to get to the same spot. The look on their faces was of utter disappointment. It ws obvious these people were looking forward to some fantasy deserted-beach sex after a long sweaty hike, only to find a bunch of drunken assholes running around all over the place. We didn't take the camera though.



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    We were pretty sloshed by the time we came back.



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    We made some food. Gay food.



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    People enjoyed it.



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    I enjoyed it.



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    Bob did the running man...



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    ...and blew hot air into his groinal area.



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    Happy Bob!​
     
  6. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Hahahahaha!
     
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    It was time for dancing.


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    I danced too...

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    ...but I had no pants.




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    I did, however, have a mini-chubster that completely failed to impress anyone.




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    I got a dollar for my efforts and was left to my pathetic self.



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    Beer goggles. Haha get it? Also, please notice my grafftacular shirt, which gets me at least 12 scene points at PG.



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    Here I point out, with amazing dexterity for a man of my age, the general whereabouts of my butthole.



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    Rusty trumpets were brought out, and well, we all know what happens when trumpets are brought out...


     
  8. sneak

    sneak Guest

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    Absolutely nothing. People fall off their chairs or something.



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    Money shot.



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    The drunkeness was pretty extreme at this point.

    To demonstrate this a bit further, please observe THIS VIDEO. It features me and Juancho sporadically humping in the air while Joe Cocker's "You Can Keep Your Hat On" plays in the background. The clip is really dark, so you'll have to turn up the brightness and lower the contrast on your video players.​





    All this time, we've been making a hideous racket, and we didn't even notice a group of people moving into the bottom floor of the house, which is a tiny apartment available for rent. They come up and asks us to lower our music a bit so they could enjoy some of theirs, and we're nice guys, and they had hot chicks, so we obliged. Soon after, we noticed they were playing fucking TRANCE. This was unacceptable. We decided to raid downstairs.

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    They were all smoking out and being chill. And I understand smoking out leads to chillness, but this was ridiculous. We pushed and prodded and told them to come up and party like rockstars, but they wouldn't come up. So we headed back up, figured out a way to turn the music up even louder, and started jumping up on down on the wooden floors until they got the point. We went back down a couple more times, and at the end they gave up and came up for a few beers.

    Turns out these people had rented the apartment to come out and chill under the stars... on Ecstasy. And we just completely ruined their night with our obnoxiousness. Awesome. Second time in one day.



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    The night was rolling to a stop, and people started crashing (with fucking silk jammies). I was still full-throttle, and soon enough we learned that our beloved Juancho had gone to sleep. Showtime.​
     
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    Our goal was to see how many different assorted objects we could stuff in his ass.



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    We started with a foam stick and a PVC pipe.



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    This was a candlestick. I think.



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    Some boat engine part that looked like a turbo or some intake device.



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    Barbecue tongs.



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    I'm not sure what this is called (a pick?) but it is very large and has a very scary spike.




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    Hardcore insecticide.




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    My personal favorite, a miniature tricycle. With a plant pot.



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    VROOOOOOOM!!



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    We tried putting a lamp over his head and beating it with a steel pipe. His lack of response thus far was very discouraging, so we called it a day.​
     
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    This picture is so fucking scary it deserves its own post. Seriously.​
     
  12. Neskoner

    Neskoner New Jack

    Joined: Jan 6, 2003 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 1
    i think bob deserved being that wasted because of the first picture..looks like a cry for help.
     
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    Good morning!



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    We decided to head to Flamenco (beach we usually camp out at) via bus. We had completely forgotten that glass bottles were not allowed, so 4 of us had to down an entire case of Presidente as quickly as possible to be allowed on the beach. Rum was transferred to galon jugs. Please notice the face on the left. It is amazing.



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    Juancho builds a sand penis.



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    Then he builds a sand vagina, with a foot-and-a-half-deep hole in it, announces that this is a scale replica of his girlfriend's vagina, and then proceeds to pee in it. His girlfriend sits right next to him.



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    Fucking americans...




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    That night we went to a bar, but it wasn't really happening much, so after a lot of drinks we headed back home.




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    This guy tried to fall asleep, but was quickly awoken by the sausage monster.




    Shortly after that, we noticed that once again, Juancho had quietly slid away to bed... what would we do to him this time?







     
  14. The Answer:

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    We would slap him with a mustard-covered steak.



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    Mission accomplished.





    Shortly after, Juancho woke up. He was not happy. This did not stop us from continuing to fuck with him and the steak. Observe the following VIDEO. Please take careful notice of the Peruvian folk music going on in the background. This is from an extremely obscure CD we found in Bob's aunt's collection, and the song was so fucking ridiculous we kept it on repeat for hours. It has proven impossible to find on the P2P's, but if anyone's interested, it's by some dudes called "Los Chasquis". I was too drunk to remember the name of the song. They also have an awesome Incan rendition of UB40's "Red Red Wine".




    We passed out shortly thereafter.



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    We left the following morning. Completely beat to shit. It was an awesome weekend.


















































































































































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    Many thanks goes out to the Poop Man Bobster, for making this thread possible. Have a nice day.​
     
  15. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    nice way to start a day at work. keep them coming so i can keep avoiding this work thing.

    the suspense is killing me.
     
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