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i can't take it anymore.please help me.


DeathDealer

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I, was married a long time to a man that, I don't think, ever loved me. In all honesty I don't even remember marrying him. I just remember him showing up at a place that a friend and I had gone too and him getting mad because I was there. He made me sit at his table where he could watch me. I do remember getting up to go to the ladies room and coming back. I really don't remember much else for a few days. The next thing I do remember is waking up in a room in a place in Mexico with him beside me. When he told me we had gotten married I thought he was crazy. I tried to leave but I didn't even know where I was and I couldn't speak Spanish. I found out later that everyone in this town was pretty much a member of one family in one way or another so they wouldn't have helped me even if I could have talked to them. He caught up to me and dragged me back to the room and that's when it started. He said he had to teach me to be a good wife. His way of teaching was very painful. After beating me til I could barely move he threw me on the bed on my stomach and tied my arms behind me. Then he raped me. This set the pattern for a long time. I was never alowed to do anything without his permission or I was punished. I couldn't even eat or drink without his permission. For two years I lived like this. Two years of hell. By the time he decided to move, he owned me. And yes I tried to run again. The first time he broke my leg so I couldn't run. The next time he 'gave' me to the cousin that caught me for the night. The thrid time he cut the tendon to my large toe to keep me from walking. The fourth time he told me that if I did it again he was going after my sisters. There was no fifth time. When we moved it was back to the states. He had to be more careful there. Still he found ways to punish me. One night I found several bottles of Tequila that he had put away. I decided then and there that it would be my way out. I snuck them away and got out of the house. I found an empty lot and started to drink. If I had any sense I would have opened all the bottles before I started. I didn't and by the time I got to the fourth I couldn't open it. I passed out and still would have died only someone found me and called the paramedics. When I got out of the hospital He put me back in by beating me for embarrassing him. And the years rolled on. 16 years I lived like that. 16 years of hell. No escape and no hope. Then one day he walks in and tells me he's leaving me for someone younger. Said I didn't scream enough for him any more. God I was so afraid that it was just a new way to torture me. But it wasn't. He did leave and I packed up and ran as fast as I could. I filed for divorce and ran again. It's been four years now and I still live in fear of him. I feel like I can never trust another man to get close to me. And I've tried. God I've tried. The only one I've been able to get close enough to turned out to be a bastard in another way. Seems he was going to do it as a favor for a so-called friend of mine but he couldn't go through with it. Just points out to me how right I was to not trust. I don't know if I can ever heal from this. I carry scars so deep inside of me that they may never go away. I'm not even sure life is worth living anymore. But I've promised someone that I won't do that so it's not an option anymore. But how can I get over this? How can I keep going on? I'm just so tired. Someone, please, tell me how deal with this. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused. I just want it to end......

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THIS SHIT SOUNDS FICTIONAL. NIGGA. GO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT YOUR HARDSHIPS OR SOMETHING. BITCHEZ AND HOES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it was such a hard life first sadam hit me with a shovel and i ran and he but my leg up like on seinfeldmnly more ghardcore and i yelled jihasd and thats how i bcame a underwriter for oprah

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YOU GUYS ARE VERY APATHETIC..YES ITS SOUNDS LIKE A FICTIONAL TALE...AND THIS MAY BE THE WRONG SITE FOR SUCH A TOPIC...BUT SHIT LIKE THIS DOES HAPPEN

 

AND IF IT'S TRUE...I ADVISE YOU TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST, AND TELL HIM/ HER EVERYTHING YOU EXPOSED TO US...THAT IS THE ONE YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP FROM...

 

WE CAN ONLY HELP YOU WITH MINOR PROBLEMS THIS SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING SERIOUS...GOODLUCK

 

KEEP YOUR HEADUP

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i think it's obvious that i came to the wrong place to share my story. i just felt so hopeless i've turned to drugs, sex, everything and none of it seemed to help the pain. so i thought that maybe with luck someone here might have been through what i have been through.

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Guest sneak

either get off the drugs and talk to a counselor...

 

or, if you want to be accepted on this board, go out and write your name in places.

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the story sounds fictional...but thats besides the fact.

 

if this story is real, i wouldnt know what to tell you. i've never been in this situation before and i hope to never be in it. its hard to tell you what to do or even say.

 

you did come to the wrong place asking for advice, as you can tell by the immature responses by the boys.

 

i suggest that you go on the internet and look for forums or call numbers for battered women. there are so much resources out there that it wouldnt be too hard to find.

 

good luck.

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werd slave....or when dusty posted the link to the myspace page where psychobeyotch made up that kidnapping story...i fell for that one.

 

 

yeah, shit like this does happen

 

which is why it's so fucking stoopid to come on here and make light of it.

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you don't have to believe my story, either way it doesn't seem like i would get much help otherwise. so far graphitti has helped writing my name on public property gives me a sense of control which i had lacked so severely in my relationship. anyways,i would just like to thank those who have offered some help.

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we don't have to do shit.

 

what is this place?

a fucking support group?

 

give it up already.

 

 

I just remember him showing up at a place that a friend and I had gone too and him getting mad because I was there. He made me sit at his table where he could watch me. I do remember getting up to go to the ladies room and coming back. I really don't remember much else for a few days. The next thing I do remember is waking up in a room in a place in Mexico with him beside me.

 

this makes very little sense.

 

and if you woke up like that, how did you know you were in mexico?

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