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I can't fucking sleep

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by bodice_ripper, Aug 15, 2005.

  1. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    I'm renting a room in a house. and its infested with vibrating spiders. As a result, I don't ever sleep there. I hoover th place non stop, yet when I just tried to go to bed, the little fuckheads had webbed my bed to the wall. they are everywhere.

    I'm paying money for this shite. what will I do, other than fill my bed room with quails and rodents....?
     
  2. sarcasm

    sarcasm Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Messages: 3,352 Likes Received: 35
    edit: bug bombs or whatever
     
  3. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    I don't think the owners care, it doesn't seem to bother anyone else in the gaff. they are all over every suface though. I;ve never even seen an infestation of spiders before.

    I should mention that I have a screaming terror of spiders, all out heeby-jeebies...
     
  4. dumy

    dumy Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 5,056 Likes Received: 0


    anyways, dude, thats hella gross..you need to holla at the landlord for really real...
     
  5. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    call the landlord, get bug spray, move out, learn to love the soothing feel of thousands of spider legs caressing you while you sleep?
     
  6. sarcasm

    sarcasm Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Messages: 3,352 Likes Received: 35
    ^^ that just made me cringe... ughhhhh
     
  7. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    oh cheers, I totally needed that image. I feel really silly, but I think I might have to move out of there. But I'll feel like the little fuckballs win then...
     
  8. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    ps, they aren't very poisonous, that's an urban myth. but that isn't the point, they still have spindly long legs to get all tangled in my hair. whaaaa
     
  9. SPORTO

    SPORTO Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2005 Messages: 1,086 Likes Received: 10
    And your sure you didnt see any Earwigs?
    If you answer no, then ignore the following.

    Close your eyes for a moment and try to imagine the sensation of an insect working it's way down your ear canal.  The feel of it's antennae against skin that is rarely, if ever, touched.
    The scratching of it's six legs working, down deeper and deeper.  


    These insects are quite insidious, the fertilized female will attach herself to hair, clothing and/or skin, and under the cover of darkness wend her way into the ear canal, burrowing then through the middle and inner ear to the brain. Upon reaching the brain, the earwig first severs the cranial nerve, which serves as both a blessing and a curse to the victim. Whereas the victim suffers no pain thereafter, the victim is also unaware of the progressive degeneration of cerebral tissue.


    Over the course of several days, the female burrows a network of tunnels through the temporal and frontal lobes of the brain, implanting her eggs as she digs along. After she has deposited her entire brood of approximately 1000 eggs, she emerges in the sinus cavity where she expires. The eggs hatch after about 4 days of incubation. Immediately after they pass through the pupae stage, about 2 days later, each larva burrows further into the brain, shredding brain tissues and consuming it for nourishment. The victim will usually die a horrible and debilitating death about a week later as the larvae reach maturity.


    The entire process of host infestation to host death spans only about 2 weeks, so recognizing the symptoms and seeking treatment is of immediate concern.


    If you experience any of the following symptoms, seek medical attention immediately:


    Bleeding from the ears, fever over 103 F for more than a day, heart palpitations, migraine-like headaches and/or sudden speech impairment.


    Beware the earwig!
     

    Attached Files:

  10. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    bollox.

    they don't do that. I'm a woofter, not an idiot....

    earwigs don't bother me that much, because they won't get caught in my hair. When I was a kid I got a BUNCH of craneflies caught in my hair at the same time. My hair was 2+ foot long at the time. fucking horrible

    -edit, cause I smoke too much, and my typing skills were the first to go....
     
  11. coffeedependency

    coffeedependency Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 1,202 Likes Received: 0
    i always fall asleep with the tv on, and it wakes me up in the middle of the night and in a half-concious state i imagine spiders hanging from the ceiling. this happens all of the time, and i fucking lose my shit and turn on the lights and start looking for spiders.
     
  12. SPORTO

    SPORTO Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2005 Messages: 1,086 Likes Received: 10
    OK I'm busted,
    but those kind of urban myths were always fun
    to recite to a younger sibling.
     
  13. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25

    holy shit I get that exact thing! I have NO idea I'm actually dreaming it untill about 2 minutes after I stand up freaking out. Anytime I wake up in the middle night for any reason I see spiders on the ceiling, its been happening for years now.


    the horrible thing is that the first time I slept in that house, I woke up and when I got up, there WERE spiders all over the ceiling and in my hair....they then retreated into my pillow case.
     
  14. coffeedependency

    coffeedependency Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 1,202 Likes Received: 0
    this is a Twilght Zone episode.
    your subconcious is crossing over into the material world because you profoundly insulted a witch doctor in Chinatown.
    you'll be consumed by spiders and Rod Serling will drop the allegory analysis... mainly that you don't fuck around in Chinatown.
     
  15. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    ha. deadly. on the real though, they are fucking up my life and ruining my chances of ever being Alpha Female.
     
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