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i am trying to break your heart.....rob

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Jun 27, 2003.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    had to do the title, i got wilco and sonic youth tonite.......central park nizzies!!


    sweatingballzoner


    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of June 26, 2003

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    Buddhism's holiest objects are ringsel, pearly deposits left behind by dead saints who've been cremated. I recently visited a collection that was offered to the public at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, CA. A pamphlet in the lobby outside the sanctuary said, "The ringsel are of unimaginable benefit for Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. Their power does not depend on the viewer having faith in them." Though I am not a Buddhist and was initially skeptical, I soon changed my mind. As I sat in the presence of the ringsel, I was flooded with useful insights, including a solution to my longest-running problem. I predict a similar experience for you, Aries. You'll soon receive a blessing from a visitation whose magic you don't believe in.



    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    If an infinite number of monkeys typed for an infinite number of days on an infinite number of typewriters, they would eventually produce all the works of Shakespeare, as well as the following horoscope, which is apt advice for you in the coming week: You could let your monkey mind jabber on forever, Taurus; you could allow it to spew out a million options about how to deal with your most pressing dilemma, hoping that one of them will miraculously be the answer you desperately need. But there is a better option: Dive down into your deep eternal self and open yourself gladly to its clear, simple wisdom about what to do.



    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    Don't bother looking for help from great minds and deep thoughts this week. You're in one of your "folk wisdom" phases, when the only kind of counsel that can be of any use is the goofy brilliance that now and then gurgles up out of that vast compost heap known as mass culture. Here, for instance, are the bumper sticker slogans that are most in alignment with your astrological needs. 1. "I will not obsess. I will not obsess. I will not obsess." 2. "We all have problems. Mine are just more important than yours." 3. "If all the world's a stage, I'll be needing more wardrobe." 4. "Excuse me. I'm off to see the wizard."


    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    If you choose to take the following prescription seriously, Cancerian, consider the possibility that you should regard it as a metaphor, not as a call for concrete action. Or if you do decide it would be appropriate to treat it as a call for concrete action, do not carry it out in such a way that would scare people or destroy property belonging to anyone but yourself. Got all that? OK. Here we go: My reading of the astrological omens tells me that the most empowering ritual you could perform in the coming week is to kick in a locked door.


    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    A few months ago there was a story in the news about an awkward situation at the San Francisco Zoo. Two tigers there were completely psyched out by an oil painting of another tiger. They seemed to regard the image, an eight-square-foot piece of art on the wall of their home, as a giant, ghostly competitor. Whenever they came close to it, their eyes bulged, their mouths gaped, and their ears retracted. Sadly, this reminds me of you lately, Leo. A mere picture that exists only in your mind's eye has you all messed up. I say it's high time to reclaim your regal authority over it and any other images that intimidate you.



    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    The World Health Organization says that a good diet should consist of no more than 10 percent sugar. Lobbyists for the sugar industry disagree. They maintain that you'll be fine as long as no more than 25 percent of your food and drink contains their favorite product. In regards to your current needs, Virgo, I disagree with both assessments. Since you're in a phase when you need to toughen up, strengthen your will, and think leaner and meaner, I believe you should temporarily limit your sugar intake to 3 percent or less.



    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    This is the right astrological moment to raise the bar and up the ante; to throw your weight around and kick some butt; to call in favors and claim your rewards; to make everything official and seal the deal; to assume a new title and create your own rite of passage. Don't wait around for VIPs or authorities to initiate any of this; don't fantasize about what "fate" intends or whether you should prepare a little longer. The time is now. The place is here.



    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    At a recent outdoor party, the host's German shepherd shuffled over to me and dropped something at my feet. Crouching down, I found a tiny twig. It dawned on me that the dog wanted to play "fetch." I plucked the twig off the ground and threw it as far as it would go, which was only about two feet; it wasn't heavy enough to carry any further. The dog moseyed over, delicately snagged it in his teeth, and returned to me for another round. I was mystified. Why didn't he bring me a decent-sized stick that I could hurl a great distance so we could enjoy the full pleasures of "fetch"? I pose an analogous question to you, Scorpio: Isn't it time to expand the parameters of your favorite game?


    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    In his book, On the Road to Baghdad: A Picaresque Novel of Magical Adventures, Guneli Gun offers his analysis of what's wrong with everything. "The world is run by those who can't make love," one of his characters says, "or those who do it badly. That's why the world is in trouble." I agree. And people who want to become better leaders would be smart to purge their negative imprints about sex and improve their lovemaking skills. I'm sure you've already gone pretty far in that work, Sagittarius, but there's always room for improvement, right? It so happens that this is a perfect astrological moment to boost your political and social authority by enhancing your mastery of the erotic arts.



    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    Kary Mullis is the only Nobel Prize-winning scientist ever to assert that astrology is valid. He's also the most distinguished Capricorn in history to have described a close encounter with a UFO. When he's not doing pioneering research on the human genome, he enjoys life as a surfer, lover, and shamanic adventurer. "A scientific genius with a vibrant soul," said one critic in reviewing his autobiography, Dancing Naked in a Mind Field. "There is nothing too preposterous for him to rigorously investigate and learn something valuable from," said another observer, "just as there are few commonly held truths in which he cannot find some fundamental fallacy." I suggest you make Mullis your role model for now, Capricorn. Imitate everything about his spirit, including the way he blends intellectual discipline and open-minded curiosity.


    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    It's time once again to evaluate the quality of your emotional pain, Aquarius. Every year, I ask you to take inventory; to determine how you're progressing in your efforts to cultivate useful suffering and avoid the useless stuff. So how have you been doing since the last time we checked in July, 2002? Are you getting better at steering clear of boring torments you've repeated a thousand times before? Have you made yourself less susceptible to being hurt by ignorant, careless people? Are you able to quickly shake off the effects of relatively trivial trouble? Do you find yourself drawn to fascinating angst that compels you to become smarter and more resourceful?


    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    Fertility clinics in the U.S. are filled to the brim with frozen human embryos. Forty thousand would-be fetuses are now on ice, waiting for a go-ahead from the couples that spawned them. This backlog of potential life in limbo reminds me of you, Pisces. If you could get access to the parts of your imagination that are immobilized by fear, you'd become a powerhouse of focused creativity. I'm happy to tell you that this is a perfect time to do just that.
     
  2. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Member

    Joined: Apr 13, 2003 Messages: 322 Likes Received: 0
    so rob wants me to have more sex?


    oh roe.
     
  3. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  4. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Member

    Joined: Apr 13, 2003 Messages: 322 Likes Received: 0
    on my way... thanks roe.
     
  5. beardo

    beardo Guest

  6. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Member

    Joined: Apr 13, 2003 Messages: 322 Likes Received: 0
    aww hell no, this shit ain't be belonging ta page two.
     
  7. D3N53one

    D3N53one Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 13, 2002 Messages: 1,484 Likes Received: 0
    date, devinity, wouldnt, fuck, touched, shade, god, changed.
     
  8. unconscience

    unconscience Banned

    Joined: Jun 23, 2003 Messages: 1,601 Likes Received: 0
    Taurus

    :eek:

    my biggest dilemma is my ex...

    it still remains unsolved:(
     
  9. ~KRYLON2~

    ~KRYLON2~ 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 13, 2001 Messages: 10,443 Likes Received: 192
    expand my game eyy.....:smiles:
     
  10. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
  11. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    the time is now. the place is here. whoooohoooo.damn.
     
  12. D3N53one

    D3N53one Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 13, 2002 Messages: 1,484 Likes Received: 0
    theres a war goin on outside, no man is safe.
     
  13. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    Have fun M.I.

    (and there's a great SonicYouth/MikeWatt cover of 'Get Into the Groove'
    by Madonna that's out there online. I used to have the 7" single... now I want my mp3....




    ----------------------onionscope


    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    You tend to fly into a rage over the smallest problems. Fortunately, you'll encounter only huge disasters this week.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    Sun Tzu said that victory without conflict is the ultimate success for any general. That said, be prepared to lose a bloody battle with your weight.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    You will find yourself torn between two lovers, one who is giving and kind and refuses to let you go, and another who chains you to the bumper of his truck.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    You tend to hate and fear that which you do not understand. But since you're such a big genius, your hatred and fear of soap must come from some other source, Mr. Stinky.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    This week, you will find that, contrary to popular belief, the unexamined life is quite worth living.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    Sometimes, you have to do things you just don't want to do. Try to figure out a way not to do these things.
    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    The problem with people like you isn't that you love too much. It's what you love that gets you brought up on charges.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    You're more than just a collection of annoying, loosely bundled neuroses. There are some entertaining, tightly wound psychoses in there, too.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    To answer your repeated queries: Yes, the stars can see your house from up here.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    Attempts will be made to compare thee to a summer's day, but after the part about the temperature being 98.6º, the metaphor breaks down.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    You will be reincarnated as a being whose status is commensurate with your behavior in your last life. Enjoy governing Texas, you nurse-murdering bastard.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    Remember: Just because you read it in a book doesn't mean it's true. There's no such thing as a "John Updike."
     
  14. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    *believe*

    Oh soo fucking TRUE!!

    "The time is now. The place is here."

    The time is NIE!!! I wonder what
    the night has in store for me?
     
  15. CAPiTA

    CAPiTA Member

    Joined: Apr 13, 2003 Messages: 667 Likes Received: 0
    haha, i doubt too many people caught that
     
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