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how well can you play when a pawn takes your queen.....ROB

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Sep 26, 2003.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    HOLLERTRONIX FOR FRIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!




    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of September 25, 2003

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    This is a perfect astrological moment for you to become more receptive, Aries. That doesn't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, waiting around passively for whatever happens to come along. The receptivity I'm advocating is ferocious. It's a robust readiness to be surprised and moved; a vigorous intention to be awake to truths you don't expect and can't control. When you're truly receptive, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and a passion for disseminating your unique blessings, but you're also inspired by a humble certainty that you have a lot to learn, knowing that new teaching might come from unimaginable sources.



    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    During my recent visit to the Burning Man festival, I faced a dicey dilemma: what to do with my eyes as I talked with the many women who wore no clothes above the waist? At first I steadfastly kept my gaze from dipping below their necks. Then I decided that was silly; if they were strongly opposed to me looking at their breasts, they wouldn't be naked. On the other hand, I didn't want to be sneaky, stealing furtive glances when they were momentarily distracted. Ultimately, I asked each woman for permission to indulge in a brief ogle. That way we could get the issue out of the way and conduct our conversations in peace. They all thought this was a sensible approach. I hope this tale will inspire you, Taurus, to deal expeditiously with the 900-pound gorilla in the corner of your world.


    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    "If I keep the green bough in my heart," says the Chinese proverb, "the singing bird will come." Have you been doing that, Gemini: cultivating the green bough in your heart? Even when the world around you has been a barren wasteland? If so, the singing bird will alight on your inviting perch very soon. If you haven't, get to work immediately and the singing bird may yet arrive by mid-October.



    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    I predict that in the coming week you will be invited to partake in a mythic feast. While a gourmet meal may be involved, the essence of the experience will be metaphorical food that nourishes your soul. This uncannily satisfying sustenance will, for all intents and purposes, be a gift from eternity -- a blessing that comes from outside of time. It will be intimately meaningful for the person you are now, but even more so for the person you are striving to become.


    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    If you're fascinated by really big secrets, it will be a banner week for digging up suppressed evidence about the lies and deceptions your government is trying to get away with. If mid-sized secrets are more your style, it'll be a good time to uncover the inner workings of your social circle, place of employment, or local scene. And if you're the kind of person who gets most turned on by small, subtle secrets, this is a perfect moment to find out what you've been hiding from yourself.


    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    Please remember that you are not competing in a sprint, Virgo. You are running a marathon. You should therefore be sure to pace yourself and not be overly concerned about the fast-starters who have sped ahead of you. I also advise you to clear your beautiful mind of envy and self-doubt, as well as the pushy expectations of people who don't know the intricacies of what you're doing. Now here's the most important thing: Use your fine mind to figure out how to be motivated by pleasure, not pressure.


    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    Here are tasks you should studiously avoid in the coming week: painting the bathroom, fixing the smoke alarm, changing the burned-out light in the hallway, getting an air freshener for the car, and buying new batteries for the TV remote control. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you should instead seek out the following kinds of experiences: Delight in your sudden access to spiritual resources that have been closed to you before; commune with beauty that does not depend on artifice; and capitalize on your new ability to change something about your life that you thought would remain stuck forever.



    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    On the eve of the American Revolution in 1775, Paul Revere rode his horse from Charlestown to Lexington, MA, warning the local population that an invasion force of British troops was on its way. Last night I dreamed you were like a modern Paul Revere, only instead of yelling "The British are coming!," you were shouting "The smiling agents of confusion are coming!" What do you think that means, Scorpio? Here's one conceivable dream interpretation: In your waking life, you should expose the dangers posed by fuzzy-brained catalysts, no matter how well-intentioned they might seem. Here's another possible interpretation: Be on the lookout for polite manipulators who use their sweet charm to get their selfish way.



    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    My friend Jane Heaven lives by a motto that would be a good tonic for you this week: "the ruthless truth, kindly told." In other words, it won't be smart or effective for you merely to expose the sticky subtexts that everyone's trying to avoid dealing with. You'll have to convey those unsettling revelations with all the tender compassion you can muster. Expressions of tough love will be half-assed unless the love is at least twice as big as the toughness.


    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    "Artist Jeff Koons, author Martin Amis, and musician Sean 'Puffy' Combs once had a genius for knowing how the times were changing," wrote Nicholas Blincoe in "Black Book" magazine. "They always managed to stay ahead of the curve. Then, suddenly, instead of surfing the waves, they scrambled for dry land. Each tried to conjure up stability and solidity through more and more monumental undertakings. They lost their former lightness and fluidity, becoming mired in pomposity." This is a worthy meditation for you, Capricorn. Every successful person, you and I included, has to periodically negotiate the turning point that Koons, Amis, and Combs seem to have failed to master. We're all tempted to cling to the winning formula that brought us so far. But this is a perfect time to release your attachment to and dependence on your past triumphs, and go off in quest of fresh magic.


    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    It'll be a good week to do all of the following: play soccer in the kitchen with Barbie doll heads; wake up in the morning to salsa music and start dancing while you're still half-asleep; talk about your problems until you've talked them to death; get the equivalent of a first kiss or a last laugh; seek out a mystical sign from an enigmatic saint wearing black gloves and a wry smile; call yourself Mumso, Mutiny, or Goofmaster as you upgrade your graffiti-scrawling skills; join Charles M. Young's campaign to change the name of the Pentagon to the "Emma Goldman World Cathedral of Ecofeminist Goddess Worship;" and be a vivid embodiment of Deena Metzger's idea that "Beauty appears when something is completely and absolutely and openly itself."



    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    Have you ever played the game of "Tell me the story of all your scars?" It's best to do it when you want to break through to a deeper level of intimacy with a friend or loved one. "How'd you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she begins, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell out of a tree onto the sidewalk. Then maybe he or she says, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song on the radio?" And you narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old flame broke your heart. The questions and answers continue until you unveil the entire history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. I suggest you treat yourself to this ritual in the coming week, Pisces. The astrological omens suggest you can achieve a miraculous healing in the presence of a good listener who is curious about your mysteries and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.
     
  2. Rodney Trotter

    Rodney Trotter Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 23, 2001 Messages: 1,683 Likes Received: 1
  3. beardo

    beardo Guest

    i wasnt going to fix those things anyway
     
  4. JimmieWalker

    JimmieWalker Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 29, 2003 Messages: 1,345 Likes Received: 0
    mine is retarded...fuck P. diddy
     
  5. yoshy

    yoshy Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2000 Messages: 738 Likes Received: 0
    nothing like a good meal
     
  6. Swiffer Jet

    Swiffer Jet Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 14, 2003 Messages: 2,669 Likes Received: 0
    Aesop Rock - Troubled Waters

    i wonder who this "good listener" will be..
     
  7. PedroHammers

    PedroHammers Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 24, 2003 Messages: 403 Likes Received: 0
    hot soup coming my way.
     
  8. Feäà m3

    Feäà m3 New Jack

    Joined: Nov 20, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
  9. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    I don't wanna know what im hiding from myself. It sounds like bad news.
     
  10. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    Goofmaster as you upgrade your graffiti-scrawling skills

    sure thing Mr.Rob. No Problem!

    ---------------------------'o' scope

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    You'll be thrilled all the way down to your toenails this week when electrodes are planted in the appropriate pleasure centers of your brain.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    You're not evil for contemplating murder. Everyone's done it at one time. You are, however, weak for not having the guts to actually go through with it.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    You'll once again lead the field in crashworthiness tests, but they're starting to take a toll on your health.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    This is a great week for romance at work, which is a mixed blessing for all of you down there at the old slaughterhouse.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    While there are certainly many qualities that you'd change about yourself if you could, it's telling that most of them are physical.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    You can understand why the guy would be proud, but all the same, you're glad that you're not an Okie from Muskogee.

    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    Try to take the long view: It'll be really cool for the kid who eventually finds your charred skull.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    It's not true that your best days are behind you. It's true that almost all of your days are behind you, but the best ones are yet to come.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    You will discover a sound historical reason why we drive on parkways and park on driveways, but people will choose to cling to smug ignorance.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    As one who wonders how the world came to be, you're excited to meet your maker. A gentle warning: The person who proposed the trip may have bad intentions.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    You don't mind having a girlfriend who likes to talk after sex, but the collect-call charges are really starting to add up.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    The stars could reveal your future, but they'd just be repeating what the Love Tester at the fair already told you.
     
  11. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    N!99@ what the fuck are you tawkin about
     
  12. Mr. Bad Ass

    Mr. Bad Ass New Jack

    Joined: Jul 4, 2003 Messages: 32 Likes Received: 0
    IF YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN, WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
     
  13. peter N0rth

    peter N0rth Member

    Joined: Sep 24, 2003 Messages: 256 Likes Received: 0
    dont start no shit there wont be no shit
     
  14. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    well, i'm off to a good start. i'm already in the process of changing what i thought would never change. and beardo, you've got the right idea. i ain't fixing shit either.
     
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