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how to have sex amish style

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by kodak, Oct 10, 2002.

  1. kodak

    kodak Member

    Joined: Feb 17, 2002 Messages: 491 Likes Received: 0
    Turn off all the lights in your house. The Amish have no electricity, which means every sexual encounter takes place by romantic candlelight.

    Wear plain, modest clothing, which covers up most of your body. All the more to intensify the feeling of discovery when the clothing comes off. With the revealing fashions many women wear today, there is no surprise when the clothing comes off, and thus, it is less of a turn-on.

    Purchase some farm animals to keep around your yard. The Amish are constantly around farm animals that are reproducing. This reinforces the fact that sex is natural and that man is a sexual animal as well.

    Regularly read the Bible, a book which encourages a healthy sex life between husband and wife.

    Turn off all radios and TVs. Hide any movies or mainstream newspapers or magazines — so there’s no comparison between the “perfect” media fantasy people and your own romantic partner.

    Buy a butter churn. When you see your partner churning away, it’ll be an erotic sight that you won’t soon forget.
     
  2. sneak

    sneak Guest

  3. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Guest

    no condoms either

    i don't think amish fuck unless they tryin to make babies.
    that weird al video was funny.
     
  4. destroya

    destroya Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2002 Messages: 1,714 Likes Received: 1
    kodak is a nut. :nut:
     
  5. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,083 Likes Received: 59
    You wouldn't have electricity for tv's or radio's. Besides, Amish ladies have beards.

    This would kick ass if it didn't suck.
     
  6. seppuku

    seppuku Member

    Joined: May 11, 2000 Messages: 718 Likes Received: 0
    read that again buddy..
    he's telling us, people who live in houses with electricity, how to have sex amish style.
    turn off the lights, tv, radio, etc..
    get it?
    it's not so difficult.
     
  7. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 174
    I fuck bitches Menonite stylee....
     
  8. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,083 Likes Received: 59
    What's electricity? No, if you really wanna do it Amish style, throw your fuckin T.V. off the stairs. Good try though.

    I'm talkin Al Queda style.
     
  9. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 174
    I don't think anyone here is interested in fucking a dead goat in a cave, of course, alot of y'all suprise me sometimes...
     
  10. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,083 Likes Received: 59
    with romantic torch light?
     
  11. DOLR....LED

    DOLR....LED Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2002 Messages: 675 Likes Received: 1
  12. Kettiecat

    Kettiecat Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 27, 2002 Messages: 1,122 Likes Received: 0
    dirt habit you'd have sex amish style is i asked you to


    ::give sexy come here baby look:::
     
  13. SMUGGLER RSH

    SMUGGLER RSH Guest

    Who would want to have sex Amish fantasy style....I bet all they do is recite the prayers while fucking and then all they can think about is when they will next be in church....
     
  14. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,083 Likes Received: 59
    torch light dinner of cave geckos/bats/rodents.... afterwards bearded man stares longily into shifty bearded lady's "take me right now in this cave and shuck me raw baby yeah" eyes, followed by the bearded clam surprise. Wooo, I need to go dry off.
     
  15. Kettiecat

    Kettiecat Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 27, 2002 Messages: 1,122 Likes Received: 0
    sounds romantic when are you going to pick me up?



    play on.
     
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