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how to get back at your roommates.. especially ones u hate.


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i have some annoying ass roomies.. ignorant ones i might add..

 

can any one give me any suggestions to how i may get them back or do something evil to them?

 

any stories?

 

advice?

 

thanks.

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tape them to the walls. make them watch "this island earth" 20 times in a row, all while holding plates next to their ears and scraping forks along their surfaces. next: remove the tape from their wrists and give them all terrible splinters, as you hold their beds hostage (but put jello on them anyway) threaten to leave for a few hours and just leave a cassette of themselves beatboxing and acting cool the previous week when they were happy.

I AM THE MASTER OF TORTURE

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Guest bumdigger

hide small amounts of food that spoils like cheese or meat something like that but hide it in really odd places in their rooms in about a week or so they'll be going nuts trying to find out what the fuck smells in their room

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Listen Carefully....

 

Here are a few things I would do.

1. Liquid detergent in their toilet (the back part)

2. Write your name on everything you own, I mean everything.

3. Take all the toilet paper and hide it.

4. Serve Ex-lax on glazed dougnuts(note:exlax to be ground)

5. Re-arrange their rooms so everything that can be backwards or upside down is.

6. Get them out of the house, Buy the gayest posters you can, you know hunks on the beach, cock and balls, and put them up in their rooms, distribute gay-porn throughout the rooms, Invite a lot of friends over before they get home

7. Tell them their girlfriend was a lousy lay and they can do better.

8. Get yourself sick, I mean tequilla and tuna fish sandwiches with extra mayo. Now that you need to throw up their bedrooms the place to do it at.

9. Wake up really early on a night they all drank, I mean an hour or two after they passed out and fry bologna and vegetables, anything to smell up the house, burn some eggs if you want

10. FIll their drawers with confetti

11. If any of them drive, buy a valve core remover and remove the air from all their tires.

12. shaving cream bombs

13. place thin wire in their deodorant, this will cut them and irritate them.

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if they drive.... fresh fish in their vents.

when they passed out do some eyebrow shaving

play hide a dook in their room

sign them up for a bunch of crap they dont need. cd clubs, gay porn, publishers clearing house, etc.....

send the orkin man and plumbers over when youre not home. order taxis on the hour evry hour.

stay at a friends house every so often and phone in the middle of the night every 10 minutes and then hang up.

steal all their grooming stuff.

mix their gel with super glue.

blowdryer full of baby powder..

spray their clothes with that fart spray stuff.

i dunno...

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NOTE... this was not written by me... I stole it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One summer when I was here for a high school program, I and some of my new friends went to a chemistry demonstration in the evening. The lecturer demonstrated "Cyalume" light sticks, which produce a bright, eerie green glow from a chemical reaction. The sticks consist of plastic tubes with inner vials; when the tube is bent sharply, the vial breaks, mixing the two chemicals.

He tossed it into the audience, and one of my friends caught it and took it back to the dorm with us. We cut it open, poured the contents into a small cup, and amused ourselves for a while by making glowing drip trails in the darkened hallways.

Finally, one of the guys on the floor whose roommate was sleeping stepped out, saw the glowing glop, and was inspired. He went into their dark room, poured out some of the stuff on his sleeping roommate's hand, and then woke the poor guy up, saying, "Dude! Wake up, Dude! You're GLOWING!" Outside in the hall, we could only see a glowing hand being raised, and then there was a lot of hollering. :)

 

 

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At night, when you and your roomate are getting ready to go to sleep, ask he/she to get you a glass of water. One of 2 things will happen:

 

1 - Your roomate will get up and get you your water.

 

2 - Your roomate will refuse to get you watr. If this happens, beg and plead them. Act as if you are going to die if you don’t get it (make gagging noises, cough and wheeze). Just persist in doing this until he/she gets it.

 

In any case, when he/she bringsit to you, say ’Thanks’ Then motion as if you’re going to drink it, then dump it on the floor. Turn the light off and say ’good-night!’

 

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Get a can of beans. Label them, ’Jumping beans.’ Eat them,

and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, ’Dancing beans.’ Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, ’Kill Your Roommate beans.’ Eat them,and then smile at your roomate. =]

 

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When your roomate is asleep (best if he/she is a sound sleeper, and is sleeping on the top bunk - if you have bunk beds, and with a non-carpeted floor) cover their hands and feet in vaseline or some other petrolium jelly. When they wake up, they’ll be slipping like crazy, and when they go to grab something for to gain control of themselves, their hands will slip and the show continues until your roomate is:

 

-passed out from exhaustion

-regains control of self

-is dead from slipping and hitting head on the corner of a desk or other hard funiture.

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  • 15 years later...

Go for a walk in the bush and find a stinging nettle plant.collect a generouse amount of the gine hairs into a small container or into a snap seal lunch bag..apply these fine hairs onto their underware whilst its drying on yourbclothws linelghe trick is to do it whilst the undies aee dtill wet,that way more of the nettle stingers will stick.The result is instant burning pain and a sure visit to hodpital if you target the genital are.for a more subti approach try some in their shirt 8r shoes..

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Turn there mattress upside down then piss on it.let it absorb for 1 minute no more as you dont want to dampen the topside of their mattress and cause alarm.Now turn the mattress back up the righy way and make sure you leave the bed exactly how you found it.They wont smell the urine untill they wake up in the morning as the body heat draws the smell out and attracts the moister.It creats a strong ammonia urine smell which will have them and their pjamas reeking of piss.They will actually think thay they have pissed the bed in their sleep..

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I think doing things to people in their homes only serves to perpetuate your own being annoyed. My greatest revenge on annoying roommates was moving out while they were at work. They were the last roommates I ever had and the last roommates I will ever have.

 

I am 35 now. I lived with 3 bar tender girls that were in their mid 20s. I had mostly out grown the getting fucked up part of my life but they were right in the thick of it. I had to be at work at 4AM every morning and they'd close their shifts at the bars around 2AM.... and come home drunk as fuck. Like.... every night of the week. I'm surprised they still have livers. So they'd slosh into the house with their little wrecking crew of party pussy girls making a bunch of racket. They never cleaned shit. Anyone that thinks that just because someone is a woman that they magically are clean or want to live in a clean place is sorely mistaken. Anyway, I'd get shorted on sleep on a nightly basis and my job was/is more of a career than hanging out behind a sticky bar serving drinks to lonely people. It's the stripper life but like grade school level.

 

Anyway, yeah.... moved out of that shit, and I paid 1/3 of the rent and wasn't on the lease. Joke's on them. I normally wouldn't do anything like that to someone I cared about but they really miffed me and took my contribution to the house for granted. Most people I tell about that situation or knew me at the time I lived there thought it was some how awesome living with 3 younger girls. There were benefits to it but for the most part it was a living hell.

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