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Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by KaBar, May 11, 2003.

  1. KaBar

    KaBar Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2001 Messages: 1,397 Likes Received: 28
    Okay. I publish this shit here in the same spirit as I would if I were publishing recipes for potassium nitrate and ammonia triodine and diagrams of "How to make an anti-tank rocket." Sure, it's a free country, and I got a First Amendment right to publish bomb diagrams if I want to do so. It's YOUR responsibility to not criminally/stupidly misuse things like that that you see on the internet, right? Right.

    1.) Do some soul searching. Do you REALLY want credit? It's like making a pact with Satan. Sure, it looks good now. Wait until the fucking bill comes due.


    3.) LEARN about credit cards, credit card companies, Annual Percentage Rates, credit cards, debit cards, gas credit cards, etc.

    4.) START A SAVINGS ACCOUNT AT A BANK OR CREDIT UNION Once you have say, $500 in your savings account, then:

    5.) APPLY FOR A CHECKING ACCOUNT. You have to either be over 18, or have a co-signer who is over 18. Banks charge you a monthly fee unless you keep more than some pre-determined amount in your checking account. If your check account balance falls below that amount, they start charging you a checking fee. The magic amount is usually $1,000 in your checking account at all times. That means you cannot write checks on that $1,000 at all, but they get to use it while it's sitting there in your account.

    6.) Once you have had a savings and checking account for about a year, or maybe six months (DO NOT BOUNCE ANY CHECKS, OBVIOUSLY) you should be able to apply for a loan, and get it, if you have collateral. For instance, you want to buy a car, the car is worth more than the loan, so if you default on the loan and can't make your payments, the bank gets the car, and you don't get a fucking thing back. You lose all your payments, your down payment, and the car. It's sort of like borrowing money from the Mafia.
    Down payments are for two reasons--one, so that the bank is not just giving you a car, and two, so you have some reason to be worried if you default. The bigger the down payment, the smaller the monthly note. Until you pay the car off, the bank is part owner of it, too. So they REQUIRE you to carry insurance, so if you get in a wreck or get killed, they get their money back, and the victim of the wreck can't sue them.

    7.) To get a down payment, you can save it up (the bank likes this one), or borrow it from somebody else (don't tell the bank) or pawn something valuable. Uh, something that you own, not something that belongs to somebody else.

    8.) EACH TIME YOU BORROW, you must pay interest, which is a predetermined amount, a percentage of whatever you borrowed. The APR (annual percentage rate) can be whatever you agree to, up to a legal percentage set by the state. For a bank loan, that's rarely over 10% APR, usually less. Credit cards can be as high as 24% APR or so. But a pawn shop can LEGALLY charge a APR of as much as 240% (in Texas) on loans of $100 or less. That's TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY PER CENT, PER YEAR. Borrow $100, pay back $240. Legally. (I say, what the fuck, just give the Qwik Pawn guy a mask and a gun, you know?)

    Pawn shops cannot charge a vig. That's a loan-shark thing, a penalty for being late. You don't pay the vig, the loan goes up. You don't pay the loan, they cut off a finger with pruning shears or something. Do NOT do business with loan sharks or criminals that are not licensed by the state. Only approved, licensed criminals who smile nice and wear a suit and a tie.

    Okay. If you can get a loan of cash (a "personal loan" i.e., an unsecured personal loan) GO STRAIGHT TO ANOTHER BANK AND OPEN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT. DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT SPEND THE FUCKING MONEY. You ONLY use this money (plus a little more of your own) to pay back the bank you borrowed it from. Once you've paid off the loan, get another loan, a bigger one. Tell them it's for college expenses or some shit like that. DO NOT tell them you intend to buy a TV or something, because if you do, they will want a lien on the TV AS COLLATERAL ON THE LOAN, and you don't intend to buy anything.

    Once you've borrowed money several times, and paid it back, the bank sees you as an obviously trustworthy customer. You borrow, you pay back. With interest. You also now have a credit rating with TRW or somebody like that. Yeah, it costs you to hold their money for a year. No big deal, it's a cost of doing business. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE TEMPTATION TO SPEND THE MONEY. If you spend the fucking money, now you have an actual, genuine debt, one that you cannot pay off easily.
  2. 455

    455 Guest

    ....or if you are careful and don't become over-zealous in your spending....apply for a CREDIT CARD to a department store and buy up to 150 or 200 bucks worth the merchandise and then cool it......pay that off and do it again-be careful to watch the interest rate and try to double the minimum payment if possible.....it help you establish good credit history....the key is to NOT OVER SPEND and get behind the 8-ball....and remember that if you can't pay the bill then don't use it at all.

    *oh yeah,KABAR......"Time starts now"-Steve McQueen.....I'm sure you know where this quote came from.
  3. metallix

    metallix Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 7, 2001 Messages: 2,955 Likes Received: 1


    "And He (the Beast) causes all, both the small and great, rich and poor, free and slave to receive a mark in their right hand or in their foreheads. And that no one may buy or sell except he who has the mark or the name of the Beast or the number of his name." (Rev.13:16-17)
  4. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,130 Likes Received: 77
    Thanks but no thanks.
  5. KaBar

    KaBar Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2001 Messages: 1,397 Likes Received: 28

    For years and years, even as an adult, I did business strictly in cash. If I could not pay cash up front, fuck it, I did not need it. I had a bank account mainly to have a place to deposit my check, but you don't really even need that. You can cash paychecks at a check cashing place for a fee, usually 1%, a dollar per hundred. If your check is $350, you pay $3.50, or something close to that.

    I have frequently used pawn shops, but not to actually borrow money. When I was leaving town for a while, I would pawn my stereo and my guns, all my good stuff, and put the money and pawn tickets in my safe desposit box ($6 per year, at my bank). That way, my shit is locked up good and safe, and I can go to Mexico for a month without a worry. If I get stuck down there and can't get back to pay the ticket, I could mail it to the pawn guy from Mexico. He knew me, he knew I'd be back. I always came back. As long as I pawned over $500 worth of stuff, my interest rate was pretty low, about 11% I think. That works out to $55 to store my shit for a year in a secure place. Not a bad deal. Safer than a storage shed, for sure. And it's insured. If the pawn shop burns down or some shit like that, his insurance company has to buy me all new stuff.

    I lived out of a van for quite a while. You don't actually need a house if you're creative. Once I asked a soup kitchen place if I could get "letters from my family" at their address. They said, "Sure." Bingo, now I had a physical address for bank accounts, etc. You can rent a PO box (about $50 a year, $25 every 6 months) for everything buty a Driver's License. You must have a physical address for a Driver's License.

    None of this is illegal. You aren't ripping anybody off by living "outside the system." If you were to use the bank account to defraud somebody, now that would be illegal. But not having an actual address where you can be physically located isn't any sort of crime.

    It isn't really possible to get out of paying insurance. One way or another, if you own a car, or a home, or borrow money, or have a credit card or any sort of business except cash on the barrel head , you are going to have to pay up.

    But I have bought Harleys and cars and guns and stereos and all manner of expensive stuff for cash. I always took an armed back-up that looked serious, and met in a public place with plenty of witnesses (especially buying Harleys---you never know, you could get some crazy SOB who thinks he's Al Capone.)

    Plan in advance. Be honest with people. And be awake and alert. The worst thing about cash is it doesn't leave a trail. And the best thing about cash is it doesn't leave a trail.
  6. metallix

    metallix Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 7, 2001 Messages: 2,955 Likes Received: 1
    "Under a little-discussed element of the USA Patriot Act, any business that accepts cash in the amount of $2,000 or more from a customer must file a "Suspicious Activities Report'' with the Treasury Department if the business suspects that the customer might be involved in some illegal activity. The definitions of ``suspicious'' and ``illegal'' are wildly, wondrously vague.
    The business can also report you if you do multiple cash transactions on the same day that total more than $2,000. "
  7. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    good advice sprinkled in and throughout..

    credit is hard to get and easy to lose. i learned the hard way.
  8. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 177
    tell me more about the definition of 'IF' as it relates to customers who do over $2,000 cash business in your establishment in a single day and your eagerness to have them arrested, as opposed to having them come back another day and spend another $2,000...
  9. oldenglish

    oldenglish Banned

    Joined: Apr 3, 2003 Messages: 1,308 Likes Received: 0

    word is bond son.
  10. I am Fabio

    I am Fabio New Jack

    Joined: Apr 29, 2003 Messages: 63 Likes Received: 0
    I need help with BAD credit. My credit is tainted for AT LEAST 8 years. I was wondering if there's any way to help this situation. I've been paying my bills in payment plans ON TIME, but I still am FUCKED. I owe money for $4000.00 school tuition, $2000.00 a different school tuition, $3000.00 cell phone, and $2000.00 for a credit card.

    Any advice?

    I'm now 21 and pretty fucked.
  11. oldenglish

    oldenglish Banned

    Joined: Apr 3, 2003 Messages: 1,308 Likes Received: 0
  12. oldenglish

    oldenglish Banned

    Joined: Apr 3, 2003 Messages: 1,308 Likes Received: 0
    how the fuck you owe three grand on celly?

    i aint paid my bills in nine months and AT MOST im under less than a grand.

    splain ricky.
  13. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
  14. KaBar

    KaBar Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2001 Messages: 1,397 Likes Received: 28
    How to Unfuck Fucked-up Credit

    It's easy to get in over your head. The goal is to be DEBT-FREE. First things first.

    1.) Do a good assessment of exactly what you owe, the pay-off, the monthly, and the ANNUAL PERCENTAGE RATE.

    2.) The highest interest rate gets paid off first. This is because the longer you take paying off some stupid ass credit card with a 24% interest rate, the bigger fucking you are getting. (Twenty-four percent? What the fuck were you thinking, man? Just talking to myself.)

    3.) List all debts, highest APR at the top, lowest at the bottom. Put low-low interest, long-term debts like U.S. Government guaranteed school loans, sane real estate deals with a thirty year mortgage, etc. at the very bottom.

    4.) Pay the MINIMUM PAYMENT everey month on everything EXCEPT the highest-interest credit card debt. Put EVERY CENT YOU CAN RAISE beyond monthly living expenses on that debt. Forego beer, cigarettes, pizza, etc., etc. Stay home, poke your girlfriend, eat rice and beans, and watch regular TV. It will be so boring you will tell yourself over and over "I will never borrow money again, I will never borrow money again. . ."

    5.) Eventually, you will pay off the first (and most expensive) credit card or whatever-the-fuck-it-was. Celebrate by taking the payment you were putting on that debt on Number Two credit card. Now you are making a payment equal to Number One, PLUS the minimum that you were paying on Number Two, all on Number Two.

    6.) CUT UP THE NUMBER ONE CARD IN LITTLE PIECES. Go out in the garage and get a small hammer. Put the fingers that signed that STUPID credit card agreement on the work bench. Smack those fingers with the hammer. No! Bad fingers! Never do that again!

    7.) When you pay off Number Two, take all that money you were paying on Number One and Number Two and put it on Number Three.


    You will soon have your debt load pared down to long-term student loans and real estate. You can now take a breather for say, five minutes.

    8.) Take some of the money you were using to pay off STUPID credit cards, and start DOUBLING UP ON YOUR MONTHLY REAL ESTATE PAYMENTS. The extra money can now be placed in a mutual fund account. Do not double up on student loans. They are so cheap already that it's practically money at no cost to you.
  15. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 177
    Oh, and what I have now is larger than a place to sleep, it's larger than credit... what I have is EQUITY.