The Leader Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 This was stolen from another messageboard. Good drunken debate from a few nights ago. The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once? The specifics: - You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects. - You are not allowed to touch a wall. - When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out." - I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans. - The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training. - There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup. * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down. I'm still trying to think how many I could get down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilgore Trout Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 That's pretty fucked up man. 15, easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Producto Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 considering the combat training, i'd say maybe 20. although i havent put much thought into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dojafx Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 1000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fermentor666 Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Probably a bunch, although if they're getting combat training on how to take down adults, they'll probably go for the nuts a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadawhat Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 have you ever seen little kids take karate...they can't take instructions, and they can't concentrate long enough to actually learn anything. even a couple belts in they haven't learned a thing. 53. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 you have to factor in how tired youll get. 5 year olds got a lot of energy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neskoner Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 i have 2 neices,one is 4 and one is 6,and thats enough for me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GEEB Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Hmm if i was allowed to pick up the five year olds and throw them at each other, and use one as a human shield, mabey i could take out 30-55. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatdoyouthinkyourdoing Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 are you allowed to smuggle weapons in? like razor blades in your sleeves n shit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Leader Posted March 23, 2005 Author Share Posted March 23, 2005 No... Read the rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AORAone Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 this is fuckin hilarious man, best thread ive seen in a long time. i dont know how many, id say probably at least 30. POWER HOUSE EM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 this is very, very funny.... i would say 40...maybe more if the kids were tripping over eachother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AORAone Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 also, i think geeb had the best idea, human shields and throwing them at each other is a damn good idea, i know you arent allowed to touch walls, but are they? if they touched a wall would they be disqualified? id love to throw children into walls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 This is excellent. I'm a pretty small guy, so I'm gonna go safe and shoot for 15-20. These fuckers are gonna bite, so I'm not gonna expose my hands too much... this will be a facekick-intensive brawl. Can we fashion weaponry from the corpses of those we have accidentally killed? It'd be dope to use one's skull like a shield, like Aliens vs. Predator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Leader Posted March 23, 2005 Author Share Posted March 23, 2005 ^hahaha I don't think you'll be able to fashion anying suitable since they will be attacking you until you knock them out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunm Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 hmmm, I'd say about 20-25. i'm lanky and i'd have the mad reach but I think they would swarm like angry picnic ants. Seriosuly, little kids can be savages when they want to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Going under the premise that one punch SHOULD keep them down, and if they ganged up on me I could just wildly swing and kick, I'd wager about 25-30. Then I'd feel like a man..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Leader Posted March 23, 2005 Author Share Posted March 23, 2005 Hahahahahha. Yeah... the thought of how you would feel after you beat the shit out of a bunch of 5 year olds never occured to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Die! By my hand! I've driven across the land, killing first born man!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClueTwo Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Easily.. Easily.. Easily.. I'll have to agree that the training would be useless because the attention span on a 5 year old is pratically non-existant. The biting may be a problem but nothing to stress. I can't remember anyone ever getting knocked out with someone elses teeth, ecspecially a 5 year olds. I'm gonna go a clean 30 to start..After I clean them up you can increase that in multiples of ten until they succeed..Which will be never. FUCK A 5 YEAR OLD DAMNIT..I'm already getting pissed just thinking about a little girl kicking me in the nuts point blank.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turd Ferguson Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Shit. I'd go smash tv on the little motherfuckers.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerCityRebel Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 i would be kickin kids in the face that is forsure.I would say 25-45 depending..but you know all it takes is one good shot to your family jewels and we go down like a bag of bricks.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xicohtencoatl Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 If I had a couple o' Rockstars I could keep 'em down for however long it takes to drive from San Diego to Houston. 10 hours divided by 500 kids = .05 kidkill factor. I win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 im gonna say...at least 40... my plan would be to attack them...run after them.... aim for noses... one good solid punch to the dome woould knock them out good... but then the bite factor.....thats a tough one... i think i would knock the block off one of the kids and use him by swinging him around by the arms....then watch him/her fly across the room..in a bloody mess.. overall i would try crazy shit like headbutting two of them together.... yeah..it would be a task.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GREENOJOS Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 id go hulkster and beat the shit out of like 55. the one hitter quiter would be in full effect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 by knock out, do you mean kick their heads and testicles till they explode? id give it 15 before i got struck down by lightening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Originally posted by Pfffffffffft@Mar 23 2005, 07:25 PM overall i would try crazy shit like headbutting two of them together.... Quoted post Hahahahah, exactly. I'd be willing to risk early failure just to try random movie shit on them, just cause I know it'll work at least once. It's too bad you can't touch walls, cause I'd love to pull one of those run-up-the-wall-and-flip-over-their-heads moves (I can sorta do it) and clock them in the neck. It would also be a great time to actually knee people in the face, since their height is so comfortable and appropiate. As for biting not being knockout material... let's see you stay conscious after massive blood loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Oh, and no doubt about it, the shark would totally win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fools B talkin Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Kids are pussys, you can bet I'd be roundhousin fools in the neck, droppin some bows on em, plus im wearing the standard issue cup so fuck there little kicks to the nuts.You know I would rock a spiderman t-shirt to fuck em up with a complex for the rest of their lives, scared of cartoons n shit. Gimme between 134 to 147 little rats, after I puond that batch into grease,eat a pizza to refule, im sure I could tackle 100 more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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