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How many 5 year olds?

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by The Leader, Mar 23, 2005.

  1. The Leader

    The Leader Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Messages: 1,591 Likes Received: 1
    This was stolen from another messageboard.

    Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.

    The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

    The specifics:

    - You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
    - You are not allowed to touch a wall.
    - When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
    - I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
    - The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
    - There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

    I'm still trying to think how many I could get down.
  2. Kilgore Trout

    Kilgore Trout Junior Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2005 Messages: 220 Likes Received: 0
    That's pretty fucked up man.

    15, easy.
  3. El Producto

    El Producto Senior Member

    Joined: May 6, 2004 Messages: 1,682 Likes Received: 0
    considering the combat training, i'd say maybe 20.

    although i havent put much thought into it.
  4. dojafx

    dojafx Member

    Joined: Nov 20, 2001 Messages: 831 Likes Received: 0
  5. fermentor666

    fermentor666 Veteran Member

    Joined: Sep 27, 2003 Messages: 8,152 Likes Received: 15
    Probably a bunch, although if they're getting combat training on how to take down adults, they'll probably go for the nuts a lot.
  6. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    have you ever seen little kids take karate...they can't take instructions, and they can't concentrate long enough to actually learn anything. even a couple belts in they haven't learned a thing.

  7. Gat Bush

    Gat Bush Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 23, 2003 Messages: 9,817 Likes Received: 130
    you have to factor in how tired youll get. 5 year olds got a lot of energy.
  8. Neskoner

    Neskoner New Jack

    Joined: Jan 6, 2003 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 1
    i have 2 neices,one is 4 and one is 6,and thats enough for me..
  9. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 44
    Hmm if i was allowed to pick up the five year olds and throw them at each other, and use one as a human shield, mabey i could take out 30-55.
  10. whatdoyouthinkyourdoing

    whatdoyouthinkyourdoing Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2005 Messages: 367 Likes Received: 0
    are you allowed to smuggle weapons in? like razor blades in your sleeves n shit?
  11. The Leader

    The Leader Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Messages: 1,591 Likes Received: 1
    No... Read the rules.
  12. AORAone

    AORAone Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 6,460 Likes Received: 32
    this is fuckin hilarious man, best thread ive seen in a long time. i dont know how many, id say probably at least 30. POWER HOUSE EM.
  13. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    this is very, very funny....

    i would say 40...maybe more if the kids were tripping over eachother.
  14. AORAone

    AORAone Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 6,460 Likes Received: 32
    also, i think geeb had the best idea, human shields and throwing them at each other is a damn good idea, i know you arent allowed to touch walls, but are they? if they touched a wall would they be disqualified? id love to throw children into walls.
  15. This is excellent.

    I'm a pretty small guy, so I'm gonna go safe and shoot for 15-20. These fuckers are gonna bite, so I'm not gonna expose my hands too much... this will be a facekick-intensive brawl.

    Can we fashion weaponry from the corpses of those we have accidentally killed? It'd be dope to use one's skull like a shield, like Aliens vs. Predator.