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Holy barrell of goat semen

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Zack Morris, May 5, 2002.

  1. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    Strange cargo found in forest

    Stumped officials try to find out who dropped off 55 gallons of goat semen in Cook County preserve

    Wednesday, May 1, 2002

    By Jennifer Martikean
    Staff writer

    It wasn't nearly as much fun as a barrel full of monkeys, but the barrel firefighters found was just as weird.
    It was full of goat semen.

    Or maybe it was pig semen.

    "We're still in disbelief," said a firefighter who did not want to be identified. "I have never heard of anything like this ever happening. We have no idea who did this."

    The mysterious barrel was discovered Monday night by a passerby at the Arie Crown Woods near Countryside, Cook County Forest Preserve Lt. Michael Albrecht said.

    When the police came out to take a look, they found a white, 55-gallon container with a black plug on top and hazardous materials markings on the outside.

    They called in the hazardous materials team from Pleasantview Fire Protection District.

    "The firefighters came, they saw the barrel, and the cleared out the area," Albrecht said.

    Firefighters spent some time trying to figure out what kind of substance they were dealing with. All they knew was the barrel had some liquid in it.

    After a careful inspection, firefighters found a phone number on one of the stickers. They radioed the number to dispatchers, who traced it to an Iowa company called Swine Genetics.

    The company ships pig and boar semen in canisters, which in turn are placed in large drums filled with liquid nitrogen. The liquid nitrogen keeps the semen at the optimal temperature so it can be shipped long distances and used for artificial insemination.

    No one has any idea how the semen ended up at the forest preserve.

    "We get calls about illegal dumping all the time, but never anything like this," Albrecht said.

    The police department "properly disposed" of the semen, but declined to say how.

    There was some conflicting information about what kind of semen was in the canister. Albrecht said police believe it was goat semen, but Swine Genetics only deals in pig semen. A worker at the company said the barrels are expensive, costing as much as $1,100, and they are often reused by farmers to ship other types of semen.

    Pleasantview firefighters were a little embarrassed about the big fuss. They were still laughing about it Tuesday and could hardly comment.

    "It is just so bizarre that that would be out there," a firefighter said. "We've had all kinds of guesses at the station all day. But I'm not going to tell you what they were."

    A worker at Swine Genetics said the company hasn't had any reports of missing semen, and police said no one has reported anything like it missing.

    The company ships internationally out of O'Hare International Airport, so it is possible one of the barrels could have come from the airport, he said.

  2. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,067 Likes Received: 29
    animal bukakke the next fad?
  3. platapie

    platapie Guest

    i think blink lost somthing...
  4. NATO

    NATO Guest

    ha ha
  5. NATO

    NATO Guest

    how many goats did someone have to jack off to get 55 gallons??
  6. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    umm...gee...ummm...I...don't know...I mean how would I know...umm...yeah.

    I'm busted....
  7. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    How does one acquire several barrels of goat semen???
  8. test pattern

    test pattern Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 21, 2002 Messages: 3,975 Likes Received: 0
    Perhaps it was an accident.

    The best thing to do is wait until someone files a report to claim their missing goat semen.
  9. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,307 Likes Received: 114
    "It is just so bizarre that that would be out there," a firefighter said. "We've had all kinds of guesses at the station all day. But I'm not going to tell you what they were."

    HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH...can you imagine??
  10. kissmyass#1

    kissmyass#1 Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 1,071 Likes Received: 0
    hmmmm.... interesting:confused:
  11. -MOE LESTER-

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    yea, his drink
  12. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    "blinkatx made me do it.:( " - mr. goat
  13. Raw fish

    Raw fish Member

    Joined: Apr 10, 2000 Messages: 868 Likes Received: 2
    markos dropped it off for the ritual the following evening and someone discovered it before he got back with the altar
  14. deznatori

    deznatori Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 5,441 Likes Received: 0
    This made my week.
  15. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    the grossest part of it is not the fact there was a hige barrel of goat semen but the fact these farmers have machines specifically designed to give goats hand jobs. Thats fucked up. Whats even more fucked up is some of the farmers probably use them on themselves.