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hitler clone turns 7!!!

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by kodak, Sep 18, 2002.

  1. kodak

    kodak Member

    Joined: Feb 17, 2002 Messages: 491 Likes Received: 0
    BREMEN, Germany -- To the casual observer, 7-year-old Helmut W. is a typical German youngster, bright-eyed, inquisitive and carefree. But according to German government intelligence, Helmut harbors a dark and potentially dangerous secret -- he’s the genetically engineered clone of maniacal Nazi madman Adolf Hitler!

    But Helmut’s parents, Jens and Susan W., have no intention of letting their son grow up to be another genocidal dictator.

    Instead, they’re guiding him to become the great artist that Hitler always wanted to be. The key: Plenty of love, support and affection, they say.

    “Helmut is a marvelous experiment in nature versus nurture,” explains Dr. Hans Gerhardt, the brilliant German geneticist whose revolutionary techniques made the boy’s cloning possible.

    “He has within him the genetic material to be a very talented and successful artist,” Dr. Gerhardt says.

    “Our belief is that his family’s love will keep him on the right path.”

    Some historians believe that Hitler went bad due to a disagreement with his father over a choice of careers.

    Hitler was a gifted artist, but despite his best efforts and lack of support from his dad, he failed miserably and went into politics, where his frustration, anger and hatred helped him become history’s most reviled dictator.

    Dr. Gerhardt refuses to say how he acquired the Fuhrer’s DNA.

    However, a German intelligence official assigned to monitor Helmut’s formative years believes the genetic material was extracted from a sample of Hitler’s blood stolen from a government military facility.

    But Dr. Gerhardt has not been linked to the theft.

    Helmut demonstrates the same artistic talent that Hitler did at 7, but friends say the boy also exhibits Hitler’s formidable anger, particularly when he doesn’t get his way, and many fear what might happen should he, too, eventually fail as an artist. “Any time you have a clone of the most evil man of all time, there is the potential for disaster,” says the government intelligence official.
  2. juggernaut

    juggernaut Member

    Joined: Nov 12, 2001 Messages: 414 Likes Received: 0
    holy shit, that has to be one of the funniest sentences ever.
  3. footsoldier

    footsoldier Senior Member

    Joined: May 23, 2000 Messages: 1,885 Likes Received: 2
  4. sneak

    sneak Guest

    who the fuck would let their kid be a clone of hitler?

    no, seriously?
  5. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
  6. deznatori

    deznatori Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 5,441 Likes Received: 0
    I would let my kid become the next genocidal dictator. Seriously.

    I agree who would let there kid be a clone of Hitler? He was part jew. Keep it right. Keep it White.
  7. WALE!pd

    WALE!pd 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jun 7, 2002 Messages: 12,040 Likes Received: 364
    hahahahaha i wanna see a midget hitler dancing with a little fez hat and riding on a unicycle
  8. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
    just chill of course is fake,

    i mean, Dolly was cloned 96-97? theres no way theyd clone hitler before dolly,

    also dude look at this dudes other threads, i rest my case.

    also, hitler wanted to be an artist, but he was never really that good at it, supposedly, im not sure.

    KING BLING Guest

  10. zorak

    zorak Member

    Joined: Jun 5, 2002 Messages: 666 Likes Received: 1
    or would they???

    dun dun duuuunn!
  11. Greedy

    Greedy Guest

    "If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
    - George Bernard Shaw
  12. Intangible

    Intangible 12oz Legend

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 17,479 Likes Received: 7
  13. el barto

    el barto Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 14, 2001 Messages: 2,627 Likes Received: 1
    in 7 years that kid will start liking gurls and get shut donw countless times to lead him to his life of evil doing, maybe even some graffiti?????
  14. ilikeskulls.

    ilikeskulls. Guest

    someone should do the world a favor and kill the kid now.
  15. drunken phil

    drunken phil Guest

    your st0O0O0Oopid. i swear