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having a bad day?

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by jah, Jun 3, 2002.

  1. jah

    jah Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 30, 2001 Messages: 2,705 Likes Received: 2
    i cant help but laugh.


    THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY.... check out these actual cases:
    Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
    forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
    male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
    back, flippers, and facemask.
    A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
    massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
    identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a
    fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
    It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the
    coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
    control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
    helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean
    and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
    You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
    Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket
    300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
    _________________________________________________________________
    Still think you're having a bad day?
    A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
    kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped
    into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along
    as it burst through the glass patio doors.
    His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and
    bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an
    ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down
    the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to
    her husband.
    While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right
    the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the
    spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
    After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
    shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into
    the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his
    business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
    The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband
    screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
    blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
    phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
    As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they
    asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
    started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping
    the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
    ________________________________________________________________
    Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
    spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
    expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
    cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
    killer whale ate them both.
    ________________________________________________________________
    Still think you are having a bad day?
    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
    almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
    towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
    current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
    two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
    Walkman.
    ________________________________________________________________
    STILL think you're having a bad day?
    Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
    pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
    pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
    The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
    _____________________________________________________________
    What?! STILL having a bad day??
    Iraqi terrorist Kay Fanjet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It
    came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
    bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
    ________________________________________________________________
    There now, feeling better?????????
     
  2. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,358 Likes Received: 298
    Urban Legends.
    On the discovery channel or something they proved how wach of these could not possible be true.
     
  3. evilistic

    evilistic Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2001 Messages: 3,554 Likes Received: 0
    true or not its still funny as hell
     
  4. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    I GOT INTO A FIGHT AT MCDONALDS TODAY
    I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE MY GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON ME
    SHE THREW THE RING I BOUGHT HER FOR X-MAS AT ME ($4,200.00)
    SHE DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALL HER
    MY EX WANT'S ME TO GET BACK WITH HER AND MOVE WITH HER
    I HAVE A BROKEN WRIST
    :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
     
  5. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    you bought your girl a 42 hundred dollar ring? :lol:

    atleast she didnt run away with it (thats what i woulda done)

    now theres two lessons to be learnt

    1) fuck the bitch, what i mean by that is you already fucked the bitch so fuck the bitch

    and number 2. dont ever, ever in your life by another female a peice of jewelry, a fucking car, a go ped or a goddamn bop-it. her love shouldnt cost a thing ask j-lo
     
  6. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    thanks for cheerin me up....i needed it.
     
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