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happy fucking birthday


FIST2CUFFS

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Well, now that i am 20 years old, i have learned a few things, here are some

 

-when you are riding your bike, its best to pay attention where you are going

-elementary school is worthless, just to fill time

-grandparents are a precious resource get to know them well

-cousins are the opposite, annoying and you often want to punch them in whichever part of their body will hurt most

-honesty looks good on paper, but deceipt and corruption gets you farther

-karma is a bitch

-sour stuff in a glass of milk makes it less sour

-if you are late for your baseball game, and you want to do one last jump on your bike, probably best not to, cuz you more than likely will fall and break your collar bone

-steal as much as you can before you turn 18

-as you get older, girls get hotter

-computers are the key to life,,,,,these days

-slamming your older brother's finger in a solid wood door will result in bone gettin shown in his finger

-slammin his head in a door will result in you gettin your hand smashed with a remote control

-people are obnoxious, so be ten times more than they are

-style and popularity are everything, unless you have an std, then people talk about you more or you are pregnant or something

-simpsons will teach you everything you ever need to know

-hitch hiking is fun, but be careful about it, no fat people, they might eat you

-when you live alone, bills start to stack up

-you can meet people all up and down your street, and many people have the same names as others

-when you are at your cabin and there is a forrest fire comin toward the cabin, and you think that maybe your grandparents left you, they really didnt

-grandparents and parents cuss, even though you asked them earlier that day if they didnt

-your sister will drown if you dont save her

-she might get hurt if she falls off a table too

-if you are living with your parents and having sex with your girlfriend in their house, they can, and more than likely will, walk in on you

-if a pharmacist loans you her house for 9 days, have as much fun there and she lets you, cuz she didnt care about shit...

-dont steal from your own work, unless you know you can get away with it, steal from your friends works, its easier

-emoticons are the tool of satan, well, maybe not satan, but they are retarded, use your words

-if you live in a dorm, you will get less than 2 hours of sleep a night, even if everyone else is gettin lots

-papers are best done within the last hour before they are due

-vegetarians are cool, (trust me, we are) but PETA can suck asshole, hypocritcal retards

-bikes do get stolen, even in small towns

-you can still pee your bed when you are 12

-even though you are scratchin your nose, it can look like you are picking it, so be careful

-jumping off of stuff into water is better the higher the object you are jumpin off is

-gettin on top of buildings is cool,

-if your girlfriend is cheatin on you, and your best friend knows, he really should tell you ( i need to kick his ass for that still)

-ideas are the key, but pushing them is what you need to do, they mean nothing in your head

-drinking is fine in moderation, so are other things, but sex, have it as much as you can (usually with special people, but in some cases, with anyone who will open up)

-gay people have more fun than you or i, its a fact, thats why jesus freaks are pissed about them, because they are less happy

-go to church at least once

-walmart shoes are usually cooler than 299 dollars ones

-swallow your pride and ask questions, who cares what the other fucks think (still needa learn how to do this)

-gettin head is awesomer when the girl looks at you

-return the favor, they like that kinda stuff

-put others before yourself, it'll end up good

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queen.gif

 

onesecondple is always dropping the knowledge....

 

 

thanks fist2cuffs!! and everyone else!! im so damn old now. shiet. so old and sippin on martinis....how much more yuppier can i get with my charles david stilletos? shoot me now.

 

hahaha.

 

i've learned a lot this year....wont get into it but i learned a lot. thank god im turning 25 to get rid of 24. 5 more years till my sexual peak....5 more years. haha ;)

 

dazzle!! are you in van now?? i wanna cooooooommmmeeee!!

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happy birthday, dev!

 

welcome to the 25 and over club! let me show you around our facilities:

 

here is our martini bar, you can get whatever you like, our bartenders are the best in the biz. or if you like you can choose from a selection of the finest whiskey the world has to offer. we don't deal with those low brow beers here, we're grown folks now! :

 

07MartiniBar.jpg

 

 

just kidding, the fridge of bud is in the corner:

 

BeerFridge.jpg

 

after you have a drink after work. visit our massage parlor, staffed by the sexiest masseuses we can find:

 

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or take a swim in the pool, its always nice out here:

 

165804.jpg

 

don't forget the four star restaurant:

 

restaurant.jpg

 

 

thats just the quick tour of the place. feel free to look around and make yourself comfortable. if you would like anything else, just drop a line in the suggestion box and we will make it happen with a quickness.

 

you should be receiving your membership card in the mail shortly. happy bithday!

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Guest willy.wonka
Originally posted by Devilush@Nov 17 2004, 09:21 AM

i've learned a lot this year....wont get into it but i learned a lot. thank god im turning 25 to get rid of 24. 5 more years till my sexual peak....5 more years. haha ;)

 

i'll be there!! :lol:

 

happy birthday homegirl.. much love.. today, all of it :love2: :clown2: honk honk

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