Secret Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 Who do you choose?? I have a best-friend who moved away when we were young, and recently came back. After being apart for 8 years, it's obvious we developed a lot of different interests, but we still have the common bond... like sisters. While we pay $7 each for parking at a trendy bar, I rather pay $7 to hop on the subway to see my crew and catch tags. My friend just recently broke up with her steady boyfriend of 3 years, and she's been rebelling like crazy. I was out of town for a week, and she already slept with some slimey 30 year old we met at a bar. She loves meeting older men, and I hate going with her because I already have somebody that I love of my own. I wanna be there for her because I know those older guys aren't her REAL friends... they just want to get in her pants. But she's facisnated by all the material things they have like Porsches, Audis, and million dollar homes. I miss my friends that live in little apartments full of canvases. I want to get away from this whole "fake hollywood" type scene, but how do you tell someone that's practically your sister you don't want to get hang out with her anymore? :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MR BOJANGLES Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 all my friends are writers, with a few b-boys and djs scattered in for good measure. fuck all outsiders! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted January 9, 2002 Author Share Posted January 9, 2002 Well, I don't have any "hip-hop for life" friends, but thanks for your useless advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 hhhmmmm...perhaps take her with you to these studios of art, maybe itll "get her off" in other ways, then again maybe shell just sleep with all your friends...is this same girl you wanted to watch porn with cause she was dating an older guy? hmmm, i say try to do other things with her, check a movie, go shopping, grab some dinner, etc...jus something besides going clubbin, maybe thats where the problem lies...and also maybe your friend needs some good "sisterly advice", you guys shouldnt be afraid to to let the other one know....and then again perhaps you need to look past certain traits, she could be doing this because things are fucked up with her and its a cry for help, and a sister is really what she needs...then again perhaps she will just become one of those let do lunch once in a blue moon people...things change...r Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 ummm... nope the broader the cross section of society the better! I want to meet and chill with... Hardcore Christian Zealots Post-Mullet Rockers Spoiled Rich Girls Rich, Bitchy and Bored Women Old Dudes with Yachts and crazy stories Mad Scientists Pirates and Rogues Ballet Dancers (girls) Old turks who smoke Hookas Chess Master who play in the park Urban Sceensters maybe even Yuppie Scum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KASTsystem Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 leave that hollywood b.s. behind....move to NY! or, if you don't feel like doing anything that drastic, just tell her how she's being a blind idiot (but do it in the most concerned way that a real friend would) and suggest she do something better when you two spend time together...for example, tell her to try some of the things you are interested in (not necessarily graffiti). bring her to a museum or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_Tesseract Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 I dont choose something over something else, i choose my friends. From person to person habits and behaviours change but i could never hang out with people i respect for being goodhearted and still acting completely stupid. I lost many friends cause i didnt want to involve on their stupid shit. luckily. Theory and practice as well as needs and prioritys have a huge gap inbetween Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MESTHREE Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 hrmm... I recently went through something similar..and Im still kinda dealing with it. Without going into too much detail.....be honest. completely upfont without being blunt. Its a hard line to walk I know....but I always think honestly is the best policy. If you keep hanging with her......it will be fake and sooner or later she will realize this and be, perhaps more hurt than if you had just been upfront. I tend to err on the way too blunt side of the line and it has gotten me in trouble. Take it from me saying "I dont like you anymore" in a moment of pissed off-ness is not a good choice. Maybe you could approach the whole thing by telling her that you are concerned about how shes living lately or something like that.....anyhow.......thats my $.02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MR BOJANGLES Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 secret just move to cleveland, you can come be hiphop with us! forget that girl, you can become best friends with my girl! (p.s. i just posted in response to the topic name and not the story. so i gues my input was useless.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted January 9, 2002 Author Share Posted January 9, 2002 Originally posted by MR BOJANGLES secret just move to cleveland... Isn't that where Bone Thugs N Harmony are from?? I don't roll with no gangstas. :) Mesthree's advice seems the most reasonable. Eventually, the truth always comes out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alkaline Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 Just tell her straight up that you are worried about her. There’s no telling what these old guys will do to her. Some are just “looking for some young pussy” and some are probably just using her to boost their old ass self esteem. All the while these guys are just messing your friend up (probably more emotionally and mentally than physically). Tell her that, and go from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alkaline Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 Just don’t stick around if she keeps acting that way. Sooner or later, you’re going to get dragged into some drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 Friends go nowhere. Enemies go everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chizm Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 oops, well... make it apparent that you two are very different, and then maybe she'll start losing interest in you. or you can introduce her to the hooligans you normally hang out with. that might scare her away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FROSTY Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 dont hang out with here so much. just say your going out painting. let her know that art is one of your major hobies and you have other friends with the same intrests as you. the odd time give her a call but dont make her think that you guys are still best friends or somethin. its hard i guess. i started hanign out with a friend i didnt see for like 5 years. we seem to be pretty cool but its not like we do everything together. i dont paint with him or go out on friday night but we will just chill. hes a chillin friend. i wouldnt ditch her secret. just let her know that you have other friends. im sure in time she will have lots of her own friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades_blue Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 Tell her how concerned you are about the lifestyle she has chosen to steer towards. Ask her why she has chosen this -- and tell her the truth about it. It's just empty sex and material goods. They say that if women can't have someone to support them emotionally - they'll find someone to support them financially -- (even though that isn't exactly the case) Tell her how she isn't going to find the comfort and support that she needs in these men and in the end they'll do more damange than good. Tell her how it hurts you to see her doings this and that if she continues to go along this path that she has chosen -- that you won't be able to stay friends with her because of it. It isn't exactly an ultimatum.. but just letting someone know that you are truely worried about them and that you care for their well being. Help her get her mind off of things. Like some suggested -- take her to a movie.. introduce her to the world of modern art -- or something.. does she like to dance? Tell her to take classes (yoga, dance - something) -- she needs to get into something productive so that she can rebuild her self esteem. (hope the jarble makes sense - or helps.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted January 9, 2002 Author Share Posted January 9, 2002 Originally posted by FROSTY but dont make her think that you guys are still best friends or somethin. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Dubyah Bush Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 I have no friends...........at least it feels that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dik.n.ur.ear Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 when i read this post, my first thought was to reply with "well, just move to austin", but then i read the replies, and every other person is telling you to move to their city.....my conclusion, the best way outta this is to move somewhere.....that way, you wont have to act as if you dont want to chill with girl anymore....:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted January 9, 2002 Author Share Posted January 9, 2002 Originally posted by jades_blue Tell her how she isn't going to find the comfort and support that she needs in these men and in the end they'll do more damange than good. That's the exact problem right there. There's something I forgot to mention... she knows exactly what she's doing. She doesn't want ANY type of emotional support from these guys. I think her very clingy ex-boyfriend makes her this way. Her motto is "no expectations... no dissapointment!" I don't want to get too personal because that's unfair for her. I'm defitinetly going to talk to her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest professor poopatronic Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 kill her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukeofyork Posted January 9, 2002 Share Posted January 9, 2002 my friends from before writing: will always be there for me.. my friends that i met through writing: will always be there for me.. and why? cause i dont just paint with them, they are my real friends just as much as those that ive known since i was in high school..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_Tesseract Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 Or tell her to come to Europe where audis arent that expensive nor a status symbol to play 'hollywood' with. She'll have some great cheese and wine and she'll be sent back to you like a new person, :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyLawrence Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 Originally posted by --zeSto-- ummm... nope the broader the cross section of society the better! I want to meet and chill with... Hardcore Christian Zealots Post-Mullet Rockers Spoiled Rich Girls Rich, Bitchy and Bored Women Old Dudes with Yachts and crazy stories Mad Scientists Pirates and Rogues Ballet Dancers (girls) Old turks who smoke Hookas Chess Master who play in the park Urban Sceensters maybe even Yuppie Scum same with me man. same with me. add some frat boys and beverly hills girls to that list and some comic book nerds and surfers and im down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
im elephant. Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 i dont have graffiti friends. everyone i meet that does graffiti has the whole 'im a fucking rebel, fuck the cops, im a gangster' attitude. i stick to the friends that dont do graffiti. it might be my niegborhood, but most people in this culture seem to be quite ignorant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIG T Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 why dont you take her around and let her meet a bunch of broke ass artist and writers that she can use to fill the void.... at least then you would share some of the same world sort of:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr. frink one Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 I have some friends that are old friends but i don't see them as much because of graffiti... on the other hand I have some graffiti friends that I absolutley can't stand unless they are piecing right next to me...and then I like them a lot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASS ETCH Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 most of my friends have written at one point or another...if i saw a old friend, i would prolly feel comfortable telling an old freind that i paint...but i got no advice.... my friends who dont paint anymore arent really as interested, but then again im not all up in their biz with whatever...allthough crushing their neighborhoods did kinna downplay the subject for a while as i was a bit shy on bringing it up after that...it was more of a.... i feel you though on small houses with canvas's... hollywoods fuckin slimey with yuppie scum..but theres hella cool shit out there as well.... i went to a west la bar once..it was kinna cool but im sure that anyplace you gotta pay seven bucks for parking....fuck that. i say you take her on the subway with you and introduce her to a writer guy that can treat her like shit just like all the slimey yuppies.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 Originally posted by im elephant. i dont have graffiti friends. everyone i meet that does graffiti has the whole 'im a fucking rebel, fuck the cops, im a gangster' attitude. i stick to the friends that dont do graffiti. it might be my niegborhood, but most people in this culture seem to be quite ignorant. yeah some kids are like that but let them be ignorant..if they front, crack them in the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ctrl+alt+del Posted January 10, 2002 Share Posted January 10, 2002 i cant trust my non-graff friends. they're all punks when it comes right down to it. im always stuck saving their asses cause they do dumb shit. i dont know why i hang out with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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