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Government

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by PaintHonkyTrash, Jul 15, 2001.

  1. PaintHonkyTrash

    PaintHonkyTrash 12oz Senior Member

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    Government

    Discussion started by PaintHonkyTrash - Jul 15, 2001

    World Ideologies Explained
    Passed along many times, original author unknown ...

    FEUDALISM
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

    PURE SOCIALISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

    FACISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

    PURE COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

    DICTATORSHIP
    You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

    PURE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

    BUREAUCRACY
    You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

    PURE ANARCHY
    You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

    ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
     
    PaintHonkyTrash - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  2. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

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    -Rage- - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    "SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. "

    That's my kind of gov't.
     
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  3. brown twinkie

    brown twinkie 12oz Veteran Member

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    brown twinkie - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    heh....
     
    brown twinkie - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  4. tow up from tha flow up !

    tow up from tha flow up ! 12oz Member

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    tow up from tha flow up ! - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    haha, that's dope. Why didnt' they teach us that in government class in HS, it would have made shit so much easier..

    ------------------
    PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.
     
    tow up from tha flow up ! - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  5. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Poop Man Bob - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    Bump ... that's good.

    ------------------
    Toilets are for the uninspired.
     
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  6. dukeofyork

    dukeofyork Guest

    dukeofyork - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    ba haaaaaa ha haaaaaaaaaaaa...
    cambodian communism is fucked up...
     
  7. CaNHaPpY

    CaNHaPpY 12oz Member

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    CaNHaPpY - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    Nice post ! The last one's the best!
     
    CaNHaPpY - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  8. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

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    boogie hands - Replied Jul 15, 2001

    i enjoyed reading that....

    ------------------
    brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...
     
    boogie hands - Rank: 12oz Legend - Messages:
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  9. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

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    Dick Quickwood - Replied May 4, 2003

    i thought this was relative to a current thread
     
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  10. nicio

    nicio 12oz Member

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    nicio - Replied May 4, 2003

    pure anarchism is the same as pure communism.
     
    nicio - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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