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Government

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by PaintHonkyTrash, Jul 15, 2001.

  1. PaintHonkyTrash

    PaintHonkyTrash Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 20, 2000 Messages: 1,660 Likes Received: 0
    World Ideologies Explained
    Passed along many times, original author unknown ...

    FEUDALISM
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

    PURE SOCIALISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

    FACISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

    PURE COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

    DICTATORSHIP
    You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

    PURE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

    BUREAUCRACY
    You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

    PURE ANARCHY
    You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

    ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
     
  2. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 27
    "SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. "

    That's my kind of gov't.
     
  3. brown twinkie

    brown twinkie Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2001 Messages: 8,127 Likes Received: 0
  4. tow up from tha flow up !

    tow up from tha flow up ! Member

    Joined: May 31, 2001 Messages: 878 Likes Received: 1
    haha, that's dope. Why didnt' they teach us that in government class in HS, it would have made shit so much easier..

    ------------------
    PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.
     
  5. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Bump ... that's good.

    ------------------
    Toilets are for the uninspired.
     
  6. dukeofyork

    dukeofyork Guest

    ba haaaaaa ha haaaaaaaaaaaa...
    cambodian communism is fucked up...
     
  7. CaNHaPpY

    CaNHaPpY Member

    Joined: Mar 27, 2001 Messages: 351 Likes Received: 0
    Nice post ! The last one's the best!
     
  8. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    i enjoyed reading that....

    ------------------
    brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...
     
  9. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    i thought this was relative to a current thread
     
  10. nicio

    nicio Member

    Joined: Apr 23, 2001 Messages: 372 Likes Received: 0
    pure anarchism is the same as pure communism.
     
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