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got your ballerina tights around my head, in a samuri pose on the bed...rob

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Jul 25, 2003.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    why are you not listening to malkmus and the jicks.....

    cheers all.....

    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of July 24, 2003

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    For last year's Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert, artist David Best constructed the Temple of Joy. Made from recycled wooden pieces of dinosaur puzzles, this magnificent pagoda-like sanctuary took him weeks to perfect. Pilgrims who visited it were encouraged to write blessings and prayers on the walls as they meditated. At the end of the festival, Best burned his masterpiece to the ground. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you Aries should model your own process after his in the coming weeks. In other words, create sacred and beautiful magic out of whimsical stuff, use it for a while to achieve a sweet catharsis, then leave it behind.

    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    I don't see physical danger in your immediate future, Taurus, but you may be exposed to higher levels of psychic toxins than usual. Therefore, I suggest that you erect a protective barrier to shield yourself. Visualize a force field of violet light surrounding you everywhere you go. To add a touch of humor -- which will dramatically bolster your defenses, by the way -- imagine that the force field is augmented by rainbow-colored barbed wire, boomerang-wielding amazon warriors, and a gang of wisecracking dragons.

    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    I have a miracle to report. A large HMO in Northern California is now offering homeopathic treatment at one of its clinics. Most American doctors still regard this system of medicine as a kooky New Age craze, on a par with acupuncture and reiki, but here it has officially become a mainstream treatment. Who pulled off this feat? A versatile Gemini friend. For years he has been split, working as an M.D. for the HMO and maintaining a private homeopathic practice. But recently he lobbied the HMO's administrators to let him practice both skills, and they agreed. I suggest you make him your role model, Gemini. Like him, you're primed to create a role that'll blend talents you've always had to keep unconnected. Will you change the course of history, too?

    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    The recently released "World Wealth Report" came to a sad conclusion: The global supply of millionaires was up only 2.1 percent in 2002, the slowest rate increase in seven years. On a happier note -- at least as far as we Cancers are concerned -- my sources say that a disproportionate number of the new moneybags were born under the sign of the Crab. The trend of increasing wealth among our tribe has continued in 2003, but will soon peak. During these last few weeks of abundant financial luck, I suggest you intensify your efforts to cash in.

    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    Begone blame! Atonement and absolution must reign! Yes, Leo, this is the best time in many moons to declare amnesty. Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you. Purge yourself of simmering resentments and remorse. Swear off revenge forever, including both vindictive acts and nasty thoughts. It's especially important that you let go of the guilt you've felt about your own failures. Remember when you were "it" while playing hide-and-seek as a child? Remember yelling out "ollie ollie in free" or "ollie ollie oxen free"? Let that be your mantra this week. It means "all who are out can come in free."

    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    Two weeks ago I said the hawk will be your animal ally for the foreseeable future. This week I decided to seek contact with an actual hawk, hoping it might provide an omen about your evolving destiny. I hiked into the wilds and made myself comfortable, meditating on the question, "Is there a hawk out there with an oracle for Virgo?" After about an hour a red-tailed hawk began circling above. I uttered a series of mysterious sounds, and the bird drew near. I made myself alert to every nuance of its behavior, receptive for a sign. Then it swooped down so close I could look it in the eyes. At that moment, it pooped. The oracle had been delivered: You, Virgo, have entered a phase when your power will come from purifying yourself of waste.

    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    Tibetan Buddhist teacher Geshe Chekawa (1220-1295) specialized in bodhicitta, seeking enlightenment not for personal gain but as a way to serve others. On his death bed, he prayed to be sent to hell so that he might alleviate the suffering of the lost souls there. I'd like to contrast his life's work with your next assignment, Libra. Like Chekawa, you'll have an enormous capacity to help and inspire people. Unlike him, the best way to fulfill this potential is not to practice self-denial. Just the opposite, in fact: Be as radiant, expressive, and as full of delight as you dare.

    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    "Sometimes an orgasm is better than being onstage," says Mick Jagger. "Sometimes being onstage is better than an orgasm." I'm betting there'll be no need to choose between these two forms of satisfaction in the coming weeks, Scorpio. They should both be readily available and supremely pleasurable. Your version of being "onstage" won't be like Jagger's, of course. But it should afford you an equally fine chance to show off your animal magnetism and imprint receptive minds with your bright ideas.

    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    "Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility," said writer James Thurber. If he's right, your immediate future should be full of humor. You have finally wriggled your way out of the holy mess that was numbing your laugh reflex. You have mastered the tumultuous lessons that nearly scrambled your brains. Let the festival of peace and quiet begin! May you enjoy great convulsions of amusement as you joke about your close calls.

    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    Nike will pay high school basketball sensation LeBron James $90 million to endorse its shoes for the next seven years. The company is betting that the young phenom, born December 30, 1984, will live up to his hype when he begins playing with the pros in a few months. It's not unheard-of for a Capricorn to ripen into his full potential early on, but what's more common is a long, slow build. Look at you: You're still working to reach maturity in your chosen field. The good news is that once you finally do come of age, you'll stay in bloom long after other people of your generation begin to wither. Here's some more good news: You're in a phase when you can ripen a lot in a short time.

    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    Mark Seltman is a palm-reader whose approach to his art is similar to my relationship with astrology. If he sees a character flaw indicated by a line on your palm, he won't make you feel like it's a curse you're powerless to resist; instead, he'll tell you what you can do to fix it or overcome it. An article about him on www.newyorkmetro.com described how his daughter was born with a hand that suggested she'd suffer from low self-esteem when she grew up. In response, Seltman dedicated himself to building her confidence and competence. Now, years later, the warning sign in her hand at birth has disappeared; she's brimming with aplomb. Let this story inspire you, Aquarius. Tune in to a weakness or foible in your own make-up, and develop a long-term plan to triumph over it.

    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    I was at a meeting of people planning to attend the Burning Man festival this August. During a break, my friend Johann did a demo of the laser light show he plans to unveil there. As dazzling emerald beams of light danced above our heads, someone said, "None of that impressive display would be visible if it weren't for the dust and particles in the air." "Yeah," Johann agreed, "you can't see lasers in a vacuum. They need to have something to reflect off. Flakes of our dead skin are essential to revealing the beauty." This will be your metaphor of power in the coming week, Pisces. I hope it will help you find meaning and blessings in the residues of things that have passed away.
  2. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    what's a 'foible' ?


    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    You will pass away next week at the age of 95, heralded as a beloved entertainer despite being in your late 20s and generally disliked at the moment.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    They'll soon put you in a secure, soundproof, knife-filled room where you can't hurt anyone but yourself.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    Although you honestly believe you do a better job of it than they could, finishing other people's sentences for them is still a real dick move.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    It's true that they say all is fair in love and war, but be advised that some still consider the use of nerve gas barbaric in either circumstance.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    The job market and the economy are both pretty dismal right now, but take heart: No one would hire you even if things were perfect.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    All signs point to you having a quiet, uneventful week, but the stars' gut feelings nonetheless say different.
    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    Police are forced to concede that the blowtorch really was for making crème brûlée after finding several of the desserts among the charred and smoking corpses.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    The doctors will tell you you're only in for a routine colonoscopy, but then the minor-key calliope music will begin.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    This will be a very romantic period for Sagittarius, which beats the hell out of the weepy, self-absorbed pre-Raphaelite period you've been going through.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    This is a great time to start new projects, as long as they don't involve a router, a band saw, or tungsten inert gas welding.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    You've never believed that "love conquers all," but that will change when love invades the area, enslaves your subjects, and sows your fields with salt.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    This week will be a series of excruciatingly painful metaphorical and physical low blows for you.
  3. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10

    yes! finally, i got one i can uderstand easily.
  4. NOUM

    NOUM Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 17, 2003 Messages: 3,966 Likes Received: 0
    Oh my..Thats some deep shit..
  5. Dust and scratches....duh

    ps. I'm having a bad weekend as i forsee, girl left me for a couple, friends still cruising...

    Tesseract:dogsitting sucks
  6. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    that sounds really kinky.
    Maybe she needs more than just one at a time?
  7. unconscience

    unconscience Banned

    Joined: Jun 23, 2003 Messages: 1,601 Likes Received: 0
    i have rainbow collored barbed wire around my forcefield.:lol:
  8. StarzAbove

    StarzAbove Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 15, 2003 Messages: 7,133 Likes Received: 6
    Re: Re: got your ballerina tights around my head, in a samuri pose on the bed...rob

  9. NOUM

    NOUM Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 17, 2003 Messages: 3,966 Likes Received: 0
    :yuck:Rainbows are so 412..HaHa
  10. unconscience

    unconscience Banned

    Joined: Jun 23, 2003 Messages: 1,601 Likes Received: 0

    why'd you have to go and diss Pittsburgh like that?

    now that was extremely fucked up.

    dumb ass tar baby.;) :lol: :king:
  11. beardo

    beardo Guest

    i dont know if its possible to be a more selfish person, but in the name of buddah, ill surely try!
  12. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    "Be as radiant, expressive, and as full of delight as you dare."

    heh heh..in other words..

    Ill be Mr. Flamboyant this weekend...as usual.
  13. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    *hollar out*


    ooh ooh ahh ahh AHH!

    ooh ooh ahh ahh AHH!
  14. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    The job market and the economy are both pretty dismal right now, but take heart: No one would hire you even if things were perfect.

    hahaha i just had a talk with a girl last night about how i'll never get a job. Im gonna have to share this with her.
  15. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    hahahaha dude's a trip