girl shit

Never thought I'd be posting one of these but I have nowhere else to go.

I've been with my girl for over 20 months. I never thought I'd get this serious this young. I just turned 21.

I've had a feeling that something has been on my girls mind for a long long time. I'd always ask her what's wrong and get the same reply..."nothing". I have commited completely to this girl, something told me from the start that she was the one. It'd seemed that way for the first year and some also. We are engaged but didn't want to set a date.

I'd read some of the other girl problem post on here and picked up some ideas about things...one being the desire or urge to see other people, and how it's not right for someone to get locked down before they are ready.

My girl assured me time and time again that she looks at guys as being hot a whatnot but said that it didn't matter because she only wanted me.

last night we were talking about things and this came up. We came to a point where we thought we would try seeing other people for "kicks" while still being together. I can totally see this as a good thing. I would love to have sex with other girls. I just don't think I would feel right. I totally respect her needs to explore and experience...that's why I asked her a long time ago about how she felt about it. I barely slept after we got done talking about this last night. My wonderful "feelings" wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. My insides were just tearing all around. I ended up feeling like I would be her "safety net" that she always knew she could come home to.

I can totally see having this explorationish relationship with someone that I wasn't this close to...but with her I think it would kill me.

I never ever thought I'd get this serious this young.

I probably left some shit out but we'll start with this.

thanks I think

1. don't get married so young. really don't. it is not a good idea.

2. at least you asked what was wrong. good job

3. do you live together?

dating other people is a bad idea. unless it shocks you with the fact that some other dude might have her on her back. it is a neat way to catch some nifty STDs though. what a good idea.

man, dont her her crutch, or her saftey net, its just not right, if you let yourself do that youre the one being played. seriously man, dont do that to yourself, are you gonna be able to look back when your married and not care about all the guys she was with when you were together? even if youre with other girls, its still not right. what if you dont get any and shes finds like 14 other guys, are you gonna be able to live with that? i dont think so man. can you honestly say that youll be alright while some other punk ass is fucking your fiance? i didnt think so. hes gonna know there no commitment so like hes gonna care about her. i dont think thats right my friend. if shes not ready to commit to you then shes not ready, if she still wants to be with other guys i dont think shes ready to settle down with you. marriage is a big thing man, i hate this new idea of ohh ill get married if iti dont work ill just get a divorce, remember when marriage meant forever and with that person only? well thats how i think. sorry man, i dont think shes the one for you unless she settles down and so do you. that means you dont go fuck any other girls. you have alot of thinking to do. hope i helped a bit.

dudebro..

she's telling you two different things. she wants only you, but she wants to screw around with other guys? hmmm.. sorry, but it sounds like it's over to me.

it sounds like neither of you are into it enough to be engaged, you even said "I would love to have sex with other girls".

just what i got from the post.. and the "dudebro" thing was a joke.:D

I feel you dude. Me and my girlfriend have been together for like 4 years now. We NEVER talked about getting married or nothing. To tell you the truth like most guys that shit scares me. I mean I think about it and it's like this is the only person I'm going to be with, until/if we break up. I hope I don't have any regrets later knowing that I missed out on my "fun time" of my twenties. Maybe she is just scared too. It doesent mean she'll cheat but maybe she's just scared a little. I agree don't date other people cause no matter how cool you think you are or what you tell each other your gonna be thinking about the guys she was with during that time.

On a lighter side maybe you guy should be swingers.

Don't go with the whole "safety net" thing or the "let's see other people" thing! She doesn't want to just see other people................you'll break up! You can't stand to think of your girl with other people, right? It's not going to change any for the better when she's got someone else's dick in her!!!! Don't play yourself, bro! Don't do it!!! Just break up and save yourself the time and pain!!! Oh the bittersweet heartache!!!!!! It kills me just to think of being in your shoes.....................Poor guy............

Iris- yeah we have lived together for almost a year.

looking at it now we moved really fucking fast.

I could not deal with her being with some other guy. I could not deal with being with another girl while I was with her.

I've been through that a million times in my head. std thought has been through my brain just the same...these things are why I couldn't sleep.

shit this is hitting me in the face now....funny how it doesn't come to you sometimes until someone else says it.

my brain is flyin...my heart is hurtin

wouldnt it be great if topical cream could cure a heartache

<span style='color:darkblue'>ive had this happen to me..but the thing was i was a lil youger then u so it was childish in my mind..i had talked it over with her many times...she said that she only loved me and that she didnt want to do the whole seeing other people thing... so i figured everthing was fine..the relationship was going strong fro three years.. maybe a couple of bumps in the road but thats what u go through to make ur love stronger.. or at least thats what i played in he back of my mind so i could be contempt with the idea... she started falling from me and i saw this with an open mind.. she wanted space... i was fine with that.. except it wasnt all that much space.. we did the same things normal couples do.. but we were suppose to be on a "break" then we got closer.. everything was fine.. till i moved to the city im in now... 11 miles aways must have kiled her or something.. she resorted to talking to other guys.. i would see her regulary(is that how u spell it?) but she would always have a thing for clicking with guys better then women.. i thought nothing of it till she brought it up of see other people.. in the back of my mind it was cool because i had a few curious ladies i wanted to date to see what it would be like.. i was all up for the idea we would check with each other to see how everything was going every now and then she had sex with the other guy but she said it ment nothing.. me on the other hand i had to much respect for her to do that... well to make a long story short.. she ended up falling in love with the other guy... fucking me over cause i broke off everything else to be with her... when i had a shot to be with someone who i would have stil been with til this day..but i told her i wasnt she wasnt my type.. saying we could never be.. so in the end i fucked myself over.... i dont know what to tell u to help u out.. just play ur cards right... it may just be a phase that will blow over...and shell find that u truly are the only one she wants in the end... and visa versa... but if im off track here please call me an asshole and kick me in my balls...thank you...:D </span>

It sounds as if you have already decided that the seeing other people bit isn't going to work for you. Tell her that. Seriously guys are usually the "it's just sex, not making love" preachers and girls worry about that. You may find out that she was testing you or that she thought that she was being self-sacrificing by offering you this opportunity. Tell her the truth, that while you are nervous and cautious about moving so fast you cannot see yourself with anyone else and the thought of her with another is incredibly painful.

Every woman secretly suspects that her man would take advantage of an offer to see others on the side. And every woman wants to hear from her man that he wants her and no one else. (okay maybe not every woman, but trust me on this)

thankyas for reading and replying

I would love to be with this girl forever.

but if she's not where I'm at than it's not not fair to her or me to stay together

this is fucking harder than hell

good time of the year for this to pop up eh?

this tastes like burning

and feels like it too

i broke up with my girl of 1 and 1/2 years about a month ago and it was the best decision i have made in a while.

Originally posted by pacman

thankyas for reading and replying

 

I would love to be with this girl forever.

 

but if she's not where I'm at than it's not not fair to her or me to stay together

 

this is fucking harder than hell

 

good time of the year for this to pop up eh?

 

this tastes like burning

 

and feels like it too

you rascal. you snuck a ralph wiggum quote in there. but just a reminder:DON'T GET MARRIED. EVER.

Originally posted by bobobi11

It sounds as if you have already decided that the seeing other people bit isn't going to work for you. Tell her that. Seriously guys are usually the "it's just sex, not making love" preachers and girls worry about that. You may find out that she was testing you or that she thought that she was being self-sacrificing by offering you this opportunity. Tell her the truth, that while you are nervous and cautious about moving so fast you cannot see yourself with anyone else and the thought of her with another is incredibly painful.

 

Every woman secretly suspects that her man would take advantage of an offer to see others on the side. And every woman wants to hear from her man that he wants her and no one else. (okay maybe not every woman, but trust me on this)

This is very true^^^^^^^listen to this.

at the same time, I disagree with the Instant Doom senario going on in the thread, ie the instant one of you looks at some one else its over. Every couple is different. Some couples live quite happily while screwing other people (I mean look at all the bondage weirdos ...). but that doesn't mean you shouldn't think really hard.................

in response to the part with my saying "I'd love to sleep with other girls"

I don't think anyone doesn't have a desire or at least thoughts of doing this

I enjoy sex like most

I would never act on an urge

I love and respect her too much for that

I don't want to come across as an asshole or something I don't know

she gets home soon...we can talk finally

it's been a loooooooong day

oh and about the girls like to hear that they are the only one.

I let her know that often.

...

that sucks man.. take your time on it

if either you or your mate are seeing other people on the side then your relationship is shit....the only people ive know to think things like this are normal were completly nuts, i dated one....they are seriously mentally ill....do yourself a favor, snatch that ring up, cash it in and pay off your rent for the next two months....love is not about fucking other people....thats called denying that your not content with your mate....move on chuck or face that fact that your going to become another divorce statistic....

Originally posted by Iris

1. don't get married so young. really don't. it is not a good idea.

unless you want a quick divorce