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Getting Laid: Without paying for it...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Milton, May 29, 2004.

  1. Milton

    Milton Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2003 Messages: 2,253 Likes Received: 0
    It seems as though a large minority of 12oz users have "girl problems" beyond belief. This thread is going to be my community service, as I am going to make a daily post on the art of getting laid. Now I mean laid, in real life, by a respectable young lady. This isn't going to involve paying or sitting alone in front of a computer and waiting for your hand to go numb. I want stories of 12oz users who have used my system to get some, and also if anyone would like to collaborate with advice of their own on a specific topic please feel free. I will make use of expert collaborators that I know to be highly respected in the field, and also women who will give their perspective on the topic of getting laid. Unfortunatley I cannot speak to the sectors of women or homosexuals, but perhaps I can collaborate with experts in those feilds to get a perspective as well. (NO HOMO!) So without further ado, get up, get out, and get lucky!

    The rules: Live your dating life by these rules and you'll never go through a "drought"
    1. Your honor is all you have, live by your word. In dating, like in any other pursuit a person who is honest will go far and a person who is dishonest will be found out eventually. This is especially true in dating; WOMEN ARE HIGHLY PERCEPTIVE CREATURES. It's true that in highschool you could tell a girl you loved her and the panties would drop like 1st period Chemistry, but in the big bad world she'll see the game you're playing from a mile away. Integrity is number one. In the words of the unforgettable Trent "Respect my ass, they respect honesty, they know where you're gonna take them, don't apologize for it..."

    2. If shes too drunk to say no, shes too drunk to give it up. I'm serious on this one, if a girl is DRUNK, not tipsy, not a little buzzed, drunk to the point where shes not going to remember in the morning, and you are sober DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER. If I hear anything about a 12oz'er sleeping with a chick who couldn't walk, talk, carry on a conversation I will personally come to your house with a baseball bat. Thats my word son! In all seriousness, there is a difference between letting a girl drink to relax and have a good time, and letting her drink to the point of being blacked out. A) You could go to jail and end up getting the same treatment by a man named Tiny and B) You will get your ass beat by her friends, I guarantee it.

    3. Women are people, treat them respectfully if you want the same in return. Yes some people, I won't name any names, but hopefully he *cough* Weapon X *cough* will contribute a column to this thread, some people can get away with using and leaving women. The rest of us don't have what it takes to do this. If you are reading this and seriously considering it, you do not have the game to manipulate a woman the way some people do, don't try it. And I can assure you you don't have the ice water in your veins to leave them cold turkey. Treat them with respect, its the only way to get laid. This doesn't mean you have to go out on dates or buy her gifts, you can want only sex, but realize that you are giving as much up by sleeping with her as she is in sleeping with you. Keep mutual respect between you and your friends won't find out how small it really is.

    Thats it for the rules, I'll add more if I think of them. But for now Lesson ONE:

    Lesson one is simple, but very difficult for some, it goes like this: GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. I realize that the combination of 12oz and internet porn is as addictive as heroin and nicotine combined, but you have to break free of it. Set a maximum online time for yourself and stick to it. I know some of you work online, as do I, and work is work, but I'm sure you'll find that you're spending some amount of time surfing that you could be out partying and perhaps getting laid.

    I know what you're saying "my friends suck, they never want to go out." You have two choices, get your friends of their lazy, overfed asses, and get them out to nightclubs, bars, concerts etc. or find some people who want to go out. Look around you, is there a person that looks like a partier, somebody who comes in to work with a hangover more than once a week? Ask this person his or her plans for the weekend and see if you might join in the festivities. People who like to party, like other people to party too. If this is difficult for you, perhaps the reason you're not getting laid is that you have a problem communicating with other people. Practice by asking your coworker or other aquantance to go out on the weekend, It'll work believe me.

    I should qualify go out. This means go to a place where people of both sexes congragate. This doesn't mean a sci-fi convention, or a monster truck rally. Unless women who have seen every episode of star trek twice and drive pick-ups with tattoos of "WILD ROSE" on their arm appeal to you, then by all means head to these places. But otherwise shoot for places where a potential mate can be found. If you are over 21 find a nightclub that suits you. If you don't dance don't go to the hip-hop club and play the wall all night, you'll stand out like a sore thumb. Instead find a more chill location where you can have a few cocktails (NO HOMO) with your new found friends from work. Like artsy women? Go to an opening, there are always interesting and intellectual women at art shows. Like intellectual women, go to a speech or a lecture of some kind, any lecture will do, we're trying to get laid not learn about quantum physics. And at least act like you're paying attention. Sit near the middle, sketch in your notebook (Bring a notebook; so that you can get that brunette economics majors number before you leave). Stay awake. Generally the rule is if you go to places you'd like to hang out you'll find people with similar interests, this is good for a relationship. But if you only want sex, head to a place where there is drinking and dancing.

    I'm going to stress rule #2 above, DO NOT SLEEP WITH DRUNK WOMEN! I WILL KILL YOU! But meeting women who have had a drink or two is obviously a good thing, especially if you have no game. As a nice bonus after a jack and coke or two you'll feel 10 times more charming and it will rub off into confidence which will *ding ding* help you get laid. So get out there. If shes too drunk, take her number and call her a cab. At these places the best time to find women to "kick it with later" is about 1.5 hours before closing. You need to make your move now so that by the time the bar is closed you can make plans to continue the nights activities. Another good time is outside the club when it closes, maybe you happen to see the girl that you danced with inside and she gives you the look (More on the look in later columns). Whatever we'll get into continuing the night and the rule of panty/time equivalents later. For now LESSON 1: GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOUSE...

    Milton,
    The doctor is in...
     
  2. 2 blaazed

    2 blaazed New Jack

    Joined: Jun 28, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 3
    my pimp hand is strong...
     
  3. Milton

    Milton Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2003 Messages: 2,253 Likes Received: 0
    "Mackin' Hood Chicks" with 2Blazzed? Is it possible? Holler at ya boy*
     
  4. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    girls can't get enough of the penis lazer
     
  5. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    there's more to life than pussy
     
  6. Milton

    Milton Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2003 Messages: 2,253 Likes Received: 0
    But not much...
     
  7. fannypack2

    fannypack2 Member

    Joined: Aug 18, 2003 Messages: 263 Likes Received: 0
    i just tell a girls im going to die soon
     
  8. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    yes. beer.
     
  9. TheoHuxtable

    TheoHuxtable Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 5, 2004 Messages: 2,113 Likes Received: 1
    Does fucking slutty chicks count? Because you don't need any "game", "pimp skills", "rule books", or "Milton methods" to get em to take off the panties.
     
  10. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    word.. i'm funny w/ beer... once it gets going, it takes priority... but once i get faded, i like to look at boobs, but don't feel like putting up w/ all the crap that lies about 18 inches above em.. plus i can't get it up when faded, so i dont even bother.

    i've been to many a party where i end up in the recliner w/ a beer and the host's girly mags that i found in the bathroom. which was quite amusing, cause all the folks there were giggling at me, and i was literrally telling em to fuck off.. and 2 hoes came over, sat next to me, and grabbed a couple... granted, they were prolly going for the whole bisexual attention schtick, but an oppurtunity to spit, is an oppurtunity to spit.. though, i just began drinkin more beer ;)
     
  11. Milton

    Milton Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2003 Messages: 2,253 Likes Received: 0
    "Theres more to life than ski trips and people magazine..."
     
  12. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    i'm finnin to head to this bar in a bit that's full of slutty county broads... in said bar, i will then drink beers my homie buys me and play pga tour 2005 or whatever it's called

    but gotta pre game w/ the
    http://www.laphonecards.com/images/CanSafes/OLDMILWAUKEE.JPG'>
    winner of the great american beer festival
     
  13. T=E=A=S=E

    T=E=A=S=E Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 27, 2004 Messages: 3,271 Likes Received: 0
    you touched on some good points miltonola.

    my beliefs when it comes to getting laid:

    i to have found out that you have to do a few things right when it comes to women in order to get laid. first off, you cant come off as desperate or looking to get laid. secondly, you have to treat them with some sort of respect (which will vary depending on their confidence and self worth) that they hold for themselves. thirdly, you have to be able to converse. being able to talk to a girl and get her to open up to you and then trust you are very important steps in getting laid. once you have accomplished this, you just have to look for your way into her panties. signs if you will. which she'll give to you when she's feeling it. and then you go for it.

    my problem has always been the plain and simple fact that i dont put myself out there enough. i dont go up to cute girls i see when im out and about, and i should, but i puss out. i either make up excuses in my head not to talk to them, or i simply dont feel like putting up the effort to talk to them because i dont really want to talk to them, i want to fuck them. so i dont do it either.

    but like i said in the paragraph above, if you talk to the girl, invest some time in her, get to know her a bit, treat her with respect, and make her feel good when she is with you and make her feel that you somewhat care for her... she will put out like there is no tomorrow.

    /pimp by blood not relationsssssssssss.
     
  14. fuck muni

    fuck muni Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 26, 2003 Messages: 1,089 Likes Received: 4
    i have little problems is girls liking me and all that shit...girls dig me but theres one line that has always cock blocked me forever

    "i cant do this friends with benefits, only boyfriends get the benefits"

    HOW DO YOU FUCKING STILL HIT IT AFTER THAT...IM NOT TRYING TO SAVEAHOE...BUT EVERY GIRL THAT HOOKS UP WITH ME WILL NOT PULL THEM PANTIES DOWN UNLESS I BE THEIR BOYFRIEND
     
  15. T=E=A=S=E

    T=E=A=S=E Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 27, 2004 Messages: 3,271 Likes Received: 0
    an anology for you guys...

    i compare getting into a women's panties like breaking into a house with an alarm on it. in order to disable the alarm and get inside the house (pussy), you have to push the right buttons, in the right order, to disable the alarm. and just like every house has a different code to disable the alarm, so do different women. some have 2 button codes (skeezers), and some have 43 button codes (stuck up bitches). :lol:

    but once you push the buttons in the right order, your in like flynt yao mings?
     
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