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getting laid "the 10 lap comaments"

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by DOLR....LED, Jul 14, 2002.

  1. DOLR....LED

    DOLR....LED Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2002 Messages: 675 Likes Received: 1
    okay okay..i was flipin through the complex mag and noticed this great way to get laid by strippers...so if you own the 2 issue of complex get the hell out of here...success rate is about 70%..need further counsel? write gettinglaid@complexmagazine.com

    How to win a dancers love...Not your average kinda rub...

    rule #1..GET A DANCE WITHIN 15 MIN. OF ENTERING THE CLUB
    get a lap dance from the firstsemidecent-looking girl who aproches you. If no one approches you,kindly ask the hottest girl you can get near if she would mind giving you a dance.....

    Rule#2..NEVER GO TO THE VIP ROOM
    the VIP room is a scam. if you fall for it, you will solidify her opinion of you as a sucker..it is however important to spend some money on the girl. I recomendtwo or three dances and some light convo.on the main floor

    Rule#3..NO FAKE BALLING
    you probably think you have to impress the girl by fronting.NOPE,it is tru that while at work the girls are all about the bejamins,but at home, these girls usally have boyfriends at home they support. A running joke umong strippers is "What night does your boyfriend have band practice?"

    Rule#4..DO NOT DANCE
    in a strip club its the girls who arer there to dance. Not you, assholei have seen guys at the crazy horse in las vegas who actually try to start dancing with the girls in the isiles like it a regular club do not do this.

    rule#5.EVER MAKE EXCUSES FOR BEING IN A STRIP CLUB
    You are a man. you are there to look at naked womenand have them rub there selves on your lap. Do not apologize or lie about the reson you are there.the more honest you are on this topicthe more the girl will respect you.

    Rule#6..DON'T TELL HER SHES PRETTY
    do not compliment her. not yetat least.never mention a word about her physical apperance.unless she brings up the subject.if this happens be polite,rigorously honest and dont over do it.If she says "am i pretty?" give a sincere but sedate,"Mmm Hmmm"

    Rule#7..LOOK BORED
    This is tricky.look interested in the girls-it would be rude not to-but also look like you wouldnt care if you were watching the jeffersons instead. When you are at the club and all your boys are wilding out and catcalling be the guide off to the side checkin your voice mail. this will set you apart from the many guys who go into the club and like stalkers.

    Rule#8..DONT COP A CHEAP FEEL
    Avoid the typical slipping the bill into the bikini move. Set yourselfe apart by shootin her a respectful smile and placing the money ontop of the stage.this may even warrent her into coming up to you when she gets done to intro duce herselfe.keep your hands to you side when receving a lap dance this will further to build your cred as a man of mystery.

    Rule#9..BE INTERESTING
    these girls dont neccessaraly want to talk about the same things as you. They'll act interested but only in the hopes of extra money try to find out about them,and dont question them when they lie about there name and place of birth. this profession can be dangerous. so they have to be careful Respect this. once the see you are not an axe murderer they will open up and start to tell you more about themselves.

    Rule#10..NEVER GIVE A DANCER YOUR HOTEL ROOM KEY
    If you tell them to meet you in there room later They will always say "OK sure I cant wait. And they will always NOT show up Also the shady girls in the grimmer spot may also end up robbing you.

    CLOSING THE DEAL.....
    it is importantnever to offer your phone number to a dancer and never under any curcumstances ask a dancer for her number you will immedatley be deaded on principal..ask about what she like to do and plan an irresistable plan based on that intrest..in a sense you are holding her hostage to her own desires to get the fuck out of the stripper routine.. make it so she absoulutley has to hook up with you out side of the club..then she will be forced in making the next move as far as her giving you her number and you giving her yours..when she does jet out of there strippers and crzy jealous and dont like to see you talking to girls.after the proverbial dance the rest is up to you player..i wish you all the best for thonged out romance

    THE PRICE OF SUCCSESSSSSSSS:)
    COVER CHARGE $10.00

    TWO DANCES EACH WITH THREE GIRLS $120.00

    TWO COCA COLAS WITH TIP $20.00

    TIP FOR BATHROOM ATTENDANT $3.00

    TOTAL $153

    THE FEELING OF HAVING 18 PAIRS OF SEVEN-INCH PLATFORMS IN THE BACK OF YOUR CAR $priceless
     
  2. Southern kid

    Southern kid Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 19, 2000 Messages: 3,965 Likes Received: 0
    most strippers are just beautiful idiots. however..i wouldnt mind banging some of them.....
     
  3. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    There are definitely some strippers I wouldn't mind giving a seeing too......
     
  4. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 27
    "commandments"
     
  5. non-hetero

    non-hetero Member

    Joined: Jun 20, 2002 Messages: 685 Likes Received: 14
    There are strippers in my town, I wouldn't touch. Dirty whores.
     
  6. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    ive never read this "complex" magazine but im guessing its another one of those "hey im a yuppie who has no clue about women buy hey!! let me try and make up some tips for other clueless yuppies to try on women and mabey collectively with our small dicks and 200 dollar dress shirts we can manage to pull 2 or 3 coked out sluts who claim theyre models!!"

    the only thing more halarious than those magazines is seeing the guys in the bars who read those magazines....who am i to complain though just another thing that makes me look that much better
     
  7. DOLR....LED

    DOLR....LED Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2002 Messages: 675 Likes Received: 1
    its and ECKO magazine
     
  8. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    yeah,most strippers are "blown" thier minds are gone and they think its a womans world and all men are the same..i used to bone strippers...they do become a little dependant on the man for certain "i need a man in my life" things..i met some real airheady ones, ones that love grafitti,ones that are straight bitches and some that are real cool.
    most of the ones i met are sluts and enjoy the thought of a 3som.or orgies in general.
     
  9. ElectricitySucks

    ElectricitySucks Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 13, 2001 Messages: 6,395 Likes Received: 24
    yeah, thatll come in handy....hmmmff

    woohooo for my 500th post wooohooooheeehoooo
     
  10. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    Im sorry but that was fucking stupid, why would i want to bone a stripper more than any other normal girl. Im sure they are more slutty and have messed up lives. Ill just find myself a girl i think is interesting. Im not going to bone a stripper for the hell of it.
     
  11. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    hahahha...even better...sex advice from hip hop kids...

    right...id feel better going with the thirty five year old who just bagged my groceries
     
  12. garcia_vega

    garcia_vega Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2001 Messages: 2,931 Likes Received: 2
    the last date i went on was with a stripper. ugh!! so boring--so little going on upstairs. this article is way too long and drawn out. all you need to bang a stripper is a lot of e or coke, and those strung out chickenheads flock to you moths to a streetlight. i don't dabble in cocaine myself, but in my case working at a tattoo shop provides a lot of opportunity to hook up with strippers. however, they are usually disease ridden airheads who all wear the same perfume and touch themselves for anyone with 2 dollars.
     
  13. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 17,035 Likes Received: 2
    i like going to strip clubs. period. i wouldnt want to know a stripper other than that. i dont go to strip clubs in hopes that i can get a friendship out of them. get in, look at their punany's and tits, see them dance, and get out.
     
  14. deznatori

    deznatori Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 5,441 Likes Received: 0
    Strippers are so nice to fuck. Okay I'm off to the club to see some sluts in a bit
     
  15. fr8lover

    fr8lover Guest

    jesus. fuggin pathetic.

    how is dude proud that he had to spend over 150 bones just to fuck a slutty looking broad whom you will not ever see or get to have a relationship with outside of a club.

    its depressing...
     
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