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Get to know: Tesseract

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by seeking, Sep 16, 2004.

  1. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 233
    so, if you clicked on this thread, then you are of course familiar with our good friend and mod, Tesseract. you've seen his posts, know of his political views, his taste in girls (which is impeccable i might add), his proclivity towards booze and his inability to drive without smashing into things! but what about the things you don't know? most probably know that he lives in greece, but how many of you know that Tesser is not american? that might sound dumb, and you might be saying 'gosh seeks, of course i knew he wasnt american!'....ok, maybe you did 'know' that, but did you know that english is not his first language? 'of course we know that seeks, i mean...duh!' ok, but did you ever stop and notice...hey, wait a second, 'Tesseract the greek' speaks better english than 80% of americans?! how did that happen?' i dont know guys, maybe we should make a thread and ask him? DOH! look, let's use this one right here!

    Dear Tesser,
    please tell us some things about yourself. how long have you been speaking english? how much of your english skills are a product of 12oz? how ridiculous do you sound trying to actually speak english? do you ever hang out with your friends at the 'pub' or whatever the fuck you call it, and say shit like 'wonk saggin', only to have everyone look at you all confused? do your friends ever ask you to translate rap lyrics for them? when you find lost and lonely american girls over there, exploring the beauty that is greece, do you ever try and use your ghetto-centric english skills to get the ass? if you do get the ass, do you talk dirty to them in english, like in an american porno? have you ever uttered the phrase: "take the dick, you little american slut"? do you ever try to get them to trade their jeans - '...no, the ones you have on right now...yes, right here, in the bar...c'mon girl, it's ok, what happens in greece, stays in greece?' for a shot of uzo?

    have you seen the commercials for the new movie about 'alexander the great'? is that really how it happened? do you guys have celebrations every year like we do for christopher columbus and george washing carver?


    those are just some things i'd like to know. i'm sure other members have their own questions that have been 'burning a hole' in their pocket for years, just waiting for the chance to throw them out on the table. nows the time guys!!
     
  2. InnerCityRebel

    InnerCityRebel Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 19, 2002 Messages: 8,297 Likes Received: 116
    Maybe Tess can give 160 some lessons
     
  3. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
    I actually had no idea he wasn't american.. or from an english speaking area. Awesome.


    I have no questions.
     
  4. Boring Bastard

    Boring Bastard Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 3,784 Likes Received: 1
    Please..........Tesseract........Answer the American tourist/girl question! And post some of your graffiti too......If you don't write then that's cool too.........but.......tell us how you feel about the USA.......Do Greek people hate Americans? Or do they love us?
    Getting to know you.........to know!
     
  5. Brewster Baker

    Brewster Baker 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 11, 2003 Messages: 13,008 Likes Received: 523
    damn youre on another persons nuts now too
     
  6. slave_one

    slave_one Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2003 Messages: 2,745 Likes Received: 2
    http://www.shermgrafik.com/cocktailtess.jpg'>

    i have no questions either, but i'll definitely appreciate! :D
     
  7. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
  8. 455

    455 Guest

    I have no questions whatsoever.
     
  9. mikro137

    mikro137 Guest

    dear tesseract

    what are your feelings about the recent expansion of the athens subway system? good for athens , or bad for archeology

    sincerely

    mikro137
     
  10. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 233
    if tess doesnt show up soon, this is going to be the biggest failure since ishtar.
    :(
     
  11. slave_one

    slave_one Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2003 Messages: 2,745 Likes Received: 2
    what kind of food do you enjoy eating?

    yeah yeah, greek food right, but what specifically?

    i'm hungry now.
     
  12. !@#$%

    !@#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 621
    is baklava a popular greek dessert or is it only americans who are all over it?

    do you like it?
     
  13. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    how do you say, "take the dick, you little american slut"? in greek?
     
  14. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    dear mr. tesseract,
    is seeking a kariolis or just some kind of mouno pano?

    are you some kind of greek tavanzi? where is the mounothyella? where are the greek women with the oreo visya???


    thank you for your time,
    sincerely,
    ralph nader
     
  15. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    say "gamo ton shisto bou s'eshese" instead
     
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