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Get back your virginity?


DEE38

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Do you feel there is something missing in your life? Something not quite right? I bet you're not a virgin. How do I know? Because I used to be just like you. I'm living proof that regaining your virginity can be the road to a newer and fuller life. Thousands of people have come to us and they all say the same thing -- "Something's missing from my life and I don't know what to do about it!" They say "It's over," we say "It's just the beginning!" They come to me, the president of The Society for the Recapture of Virginity, and by using the VRS 3000TM I find their virginity and give them the world.

 

Eight years ago, I woke up one morning and the coffee just didn't taste right. Going to work wasn't satisfying. My boyfriend and I weren't getting along. I didn't enjoy life and was tired of wishing for things to get better. I knew something in my life was missing and I knew I had to GET IT BACK! It was time to take my life into my own hands.

 

I thought back to a time when I was younger, more content. BINGO! Like turning on a light bulb, I realized what was missing. My virginity! Something I had never thought twice about, was the answer to my problems. Then I started asking around. I was surprised to find out that people had been trying to get their virginity back for centuries. I had to GET IT BACK! in order to be whole again.

 

What is VRS 3000?

What do you need to do?

How will you know that you are a virgin again?

 

You have lost your virginity and you can GET IT BACK! I know. It happened to me. Take your future in your hands. Join me and thousands of others. The world is your oyster and your virginity is the pearl.

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:lol:

 

At first I read it thinking it was some religious no more sex devotion to your self, then its like.... some certificate they give you and some device that scientists came up with to start getting it back??

 

how gay:D

 

im not sure if its funny or not

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id this that thing where they replace the hyman (is that the thingy i'm thinking of?) or is it just some bullshit certificate that says "hooray douchebag! you're a virgin!"

 

 

 

i also heard somewhere (probably bullshit) that if a woman doesn't haven't sex for at least 3 years their vaginal muscles tighten back up to the point of being a virgin again.

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Originally posted by Mr. ABC

 

i also heard somewhere (probably bullshit) that if a woman doesn't haven't sex for at least 3 years their vaginal muscles tighten back up to the point of being a virgin again.

 

 

that happens to me in a month.

 

i also had a c-section, not vaginal birth.:)

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I honestly do not understand, how the fuck would a guy get his virginity back? Because, technically doesnt virginity mean you havent had sex? How can you take away the fact the you have had sex, you can't undo the past, all you can do is make your vagina muscles tight and lie to everyone that you are a virgin with your goofy ass certificate.

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Originally posted by Mr. ABC

id this that thing where they replace the hyman (is that the thingy i'm thinking of?) or is it just some bullshit certificate that says "hooray douchebag! you're a virgin!

 

the marquis de sade once spoke about stitching the whats-it back together(or however the whole process is) and re-de-virginising the girl

 

blarghety blargh

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Originally posted by CinchedWaist

well, i've heard that they can

stitch you up to make you tighter...

so it feels like your a virgin again.

but it's just ridiculous

 

 

i've heard tell about cream you smear on your cunt to tighten it up temporarily

 

 

C. Virginator

A miracle of modern science, the Virginator is a fully operational biorhythm restructure band. Based on the information you give to the VRS 3000, a microchip is custom encoded with an unique algorithm. This microchip is then attached to a wristband, which you wear at night while you sleep. During the night, the microchip emits harmless radio waves which adjust and correct your virgin biorhythms. While you dream, your virginity will be restored. You will not feel a thing, but you will wake up a virgin!

 

 

 

hahaha

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