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Get back your virginity?

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by DEE38, Feb 18, 2004.

  1. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13
    http://1.marketbanker.com/mb/click.php?sid...ner_id=10021419

    Do you feel there is something missing in your life? Something not quite right? I bet you're not a virgin. How do I know? Because I used to be just like you. I'm living proof that regaining your virginity can be the road to a newer and fuller life. Thousands of people have come to us and they all say the same thing -- "Something's missing from my life and I don't know what to do about it!" They say "It's over," we say "It's just the beginning!" They come to me, the president of The Society for the Recapture of Virginity, and by using the VRS 3000TM I find their virginity and give them the world.

    Eight years ago, I woke up one morning and the coffee just didn't taste right. Going to work wasn't satisfying. My boyfriend and I weren't getting along. I didn't enjoy life and was tired of wishing for things to get better. I knew something in my life was missing and I knew I had to GET IT BACK! It was time to take my life into my own hands.

    I thought back to a time when I was younger, more content. BINGO! Like turning on a light bulb, I realized what was missing. My virginity! Something I had never thought twice about, was the answer to my problems. Then I started asking around. I was surprised to find out that people had been trying to get their virginity back for centuries. I had to GET IT BACK! in order to be whole again.

    What is VRS 3000?
    What do you need to do?
    How will you know that you are a virgin again?

    You have lost your virginity and you can GET IT BACK! I know. It happened to me. Take your future in your hands. Join me and thousands of others. The world is your oyster and your virginity is the pearl.
     
  2. CinchedWaist

    CinchedWaist Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 11, 2003 Messages: 2,691 Likes Received: 1
  3. Sarah Tonin

    Sarah Tonin Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 1,946 Likes Received: 1
  4. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13
  5. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13
    :lol:

    At first I read it thinking it was some religious no more sex devotion to your self, then its like.... some certificate they give you and some device that scientists came up with to start getting it back??

    how gay:D

    im not sure if its funny or not
     
  6. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    :nope:

    thats all I can say/do.
     
  7. CinchedWaist

    CinchedWaist Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 11, 2003 Messages: 2,691 Likes Received: 1
    well, i've heard that they can
    stitch you up to make you tighter...
    so it feels like your a virgin again.
    but it's just ridiculous
     
  8. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    id this that thing where they replace the hyman (is that the thingy i'm thinking of?) or is it just some bullshit certificate that says "hooray douchebag! you're a virgin!"



    i also heard somewhere (probably bullshit) that if a woman doesn't haven't sex for at least 3 years their vaginal muscles tighten back up to the point of being a virgin again.
     
  9. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13

    that happens to me in a month.

    i also had a c-section, not vaginal birth.:)
     
  10. anonymity1

    anonymity1 Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 28, 2003 Messages: 1,945 Likes Received: 0
    I honestly do not understand, how the fuck would a guy get his virginity back? Because, technically doesnt virginity mean you havent had sex? How can you take away the fact the you have had sex, you can't undo the past, all you can do is make your vagina muscles tight and lie to everyone that you are a virgin with your goofy ass certificate.
     
  11. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    "bemoaning"

    For some reason, I doubt that word was chosen accidentally.
     
  12. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13
    that thing is a stupid joke that was "supposed" to be funny

    it isnt very funny though, but i fell for it for a minute.:eek:
     
  13. Sarah Tonin

    Sarah Tonin Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 1,946 Likes Received: 1
    :lol:
     
  14. japillahan

    japillahan Senior Member

    Joined: May 5, 2003 Messages: 1,308 Likes Received: 69
    the marquis de sade once spoke about stitching the whats-it back together(or however the whole process is) and re-de-virginising the girl

    blarghety blargh
     
  15. CinchedWaist

    CinchedWaist Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 11, 2003 Messages: 2,691 Likes Received: 1
    if a woman does her kegals...
    she will be just fine.
     
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