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"gangsta rap stew"

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by the_gooch, Jan 16, 2004.

  1. the_gooch

    the_gooch 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 15, 2002 Messages: 11,566 Likes Received: 431
    This site has insane reviews. Obviously some christian extreme dork nonsense:

    Friday After Next

    WEB EDITOR'S NOTE: This film contains violence and graphic sexual content. This review references that content and is not appropriate for children.

    At 3:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve, a crack fiend dressed in a Santa suit breaks into Craig and Day-Day’s apartment, stealing presents and other valuables including the duo’s rent money. With no cash, landlady Miss Pearl threatens eviction (on Christmas Eve no less). Meanwhile, Craig and Day-Day start new jobs as security guards (on Christmas Eve no less), hopeful that they’ll come up with a plan to secure enough money to cover their monthly lease.

    • positive elements: When a couple attempts to shoplift clothes at Money Mike’s Pimp N’ Ho’s clothing store, Craig and Day-Day apprehend the culprits. Craig turns down Mike’s reward money, saying he was only doing his job.

    • spiritual content: "Silent Night" is background music as "Santa" prepares to rob Craig and Day-Day’s apartment. The lyrical truth of the incarnation stands in stark and disturbing contrast to the many troublesome elements the film promotes. As strip mall security guards, Craig and Day-Day are determined to remove several church ladies who are singing "Joy to the World" on the premises. Referring to the true story of Christmas, Day-Day exclaims, "F--- that s---! You hos gotta move!" One of the women responds with an equally obscene put down before angrily marching off with a "Hallelujah Jesus!" floating in the air behind her. At one point, Uncle Elroy further slams the real meaning of Christmas when he rants, "Celebrate Kwanza—not this white man’s holiday!"

    • sexual content: A lot (in a Christmas movie no less). When Craig tells his roommate their Christmas party plans are off due to the break-in, Day-Day expresses great frustration in the change of plans because one of the women invited has promised to perform a certain sex act on him that he’s never experienced. Miss Pearl offers to excuse the rent payment if the pair will have sex with her (she sticks out her tongue suggestively). Later, this negligee-clad nymphomaniac tries to seduce Craig’s dad after he knocks on her door seeking to use her bathroom. Rummaging through their apartment and finding condoms, Miss Pearl responds, "Wishful thinking!" The gay-leaning Damon gets aroused watching a Tupac video. He hugs Craig and Day-Day and grabs his crotch after they leave. Later, he attempts to rape Money Mike in a bathroom (the scene is played for laughs). Day-Day complains he won’t be able to get any sex dressed in security guard clothes. Mr. Jones boasts to Uncle Elroy about his penis size. Plenty of cleavage, tight and sensual clothing and partial breast nudity get screen time. Police officers are named B. Dix and A. Hole. Moley claims to have 12 wives and views Donna as a suitable thirteenth. Craig and Day-Day have a porn mag in their apartment. At film’s end, Day-Day is shown in bed with two women, while Craig boasts of getting an "early Christmas present"—referring to having sex with Donna (after an earlier episode is interrupted when Day-Day comes in the bedroom with condoms).

    • violent content: Most of the violence is of the slapstick variety although some of it is quite mean-spirited. When caught breaking and entering, Craig and "Santa" go at it. Violent punches are traded, and Santa gets pummeled with a Christmas tree (a repeat of the Christmas tree’s use happens at film’s end). Mr. Jones and Uncle Elroy record a commercial for their barbecue restaurant using the slogan, "Tastes so good you’ll wanna slap yo mama." Mr. Jones then smacks his mother with his bare hand, knocking her out (it’s supposed to be funny—even when she’s still suffering in a follow-up scene). When Craig and Day-Day catch what they believe to be the bad Santa, they punch and kick him mercilessly (it turns out not to be). The thief-Santa returns and robs the pair and their fathers with what appears to them to be a gun. A dog bites Miss Pearl on the buttocks. Child patrons of Bros. Bar-B-Q slap a reindeer-clad Uncle Elroy. The church ladies send a gang of thugs after Craig and Day-Day in retaliation. One ruffian punches the strip mall owner (Moley) and throws Money Mike to the ground. When Moley fires Craig and Day-Day, he is kicked for revenge. Money Mike is able to save himself from being raped by grabbing Damon’s testicles with a pair of vice-grips (an extended scene). When Craig’s mom discovers her husband on top of Miss Pearl (clothed), she pulls the landlady’s hair. In a final "chase scene" involving Santa, Craig, Day-Day and neighbors, Santa gets clotheslined while fleeing. Exclaiming, "Respect my gangsta," an elderly neighbor grabs a shotgun and begins blasting (no one is hit). An old man joins the melee and uses his cane as a weapon. Santa falls several stories out of a window onto a patio cover. He’s then hit by a passing limo (it drives off leaving him behind). The bloodied Santa is eventually tied up and left in a rooftop display sleigh.

    • crude or profane language: Well over 100 f-words and s-words in all their obscene variations. Other profanities and vulgar terms for female and male anatomy and various sexual acts occur frequently. Women are often referred to as b--ches and hos. An ethnic slur is used regularly for African Americans (by African Americans). God’s name, often accompanied with "d--n," is misused recurrently as well.

    • drug and alcohol content: Beginning with the opening credits featuring a cartoon Santa smoking pot, marijuana—as in the previous two Friday installments—is once again glamorized. Santa is shown drinking from a bottle in a brown paper bag. Although asleep, Day-Day mumbles that all he wants for Christmas is "two fat b--ches and a bag of weed." While on the job, Craig tempts Day-Day with a joint. He originally declines ("Not [while] on duty!") but gives in quickly enough. Their fathers wind up smoking pot with them. Miss Pearl lets herself into the guys apartment and discovers, then steals, their marijuana stash (she’s later shown smoking it). As the film closes, Craig tells how his uncle "got drunk and passed out" at their Christmas party (the punch is shown being spiked). Moley smokes a cigar.

    • other negative elements: The police officers investigating the break-in discover and confiscated Craig’s pot plant. Not only does one nibble on the leaves while still in the apartment, two policemen are featured smoking the weed later in their cruiser. Before the rape attempt, Money Mike is shown with his pants down urinating. Offensive gangsta rap serves as the film's musical score.

    • conclusion: No Christmas cheer to be found here. Just drugs, sex, raunch and rape stirred up in a gangsta rap stew.


    the south park review is funny as hell!

    i can't believe people buy this shit, or take the time to write it!
  2. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
  3. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
  4. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Possibly the funniest part of the whole movie. I have addapted this phrase into my everyday conversations.
  5. SaracasticH

    SaracasticH Banned

    Joined: Dec 20, 2003 Messages: 63 Likes Received: 0