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funny w4m adds.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by maltliqourlive, Mar 26, 2005.

  1. maltliqourlive

    maltliqourlive Junior Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2005 Messages: 203 Likes Received: 0
    Take part in my experiment! - 22

    if you click the link there is illustrations.

    Reply to: [email protected]
    Date: Fri Feb 25 16:49:18 2005

    1. Abstract of Experiment.

    You would like to go on a date with me.

    2. Introduction.

    Hi, my name is Theresa.

    2.1. Appearance.

    I am about 5’5” tall. I have dark brown hair, and blue/green eyes.
    I weigh approximately 115 pounds and I have no outstanding warrants for my arrest. Please note that, while my hair is approximately its natural color at present, it is liable to change three or four times a year.


    2.2. Personality and Stuff.

    I am a law student at the University of San Diego. I am also a pianist, guitarist, soon-to-be violinist, tennis player, and cold-blooded killer who dabbles in drawing, painting and photography.
    I'm not a frequent gym patron, but I'm always up for a game of tennis, bowling or darts. I am playful and tricky (much like a hyena), but I can also be timid at times (like a tree frog). And, I can also be silently deadly at times (like a poisonous tree frog). But, mostly, I’m just a human.

    2.3. Things I Do and Don't.

    I often read books or go to incredibly awesome concerts. I’m starting to cook more, and I used to be a DJ. Lately, I've been very busy with my law school studies but I’m augmenting the hard stuff with some diversionary classes: modern dance, music composition and an acting class. I taught some kids some crap over the summer, and I just bought a brand new, silver Mazda 3!


    I like to enjoy a few drinks, but I really don’t care for smoking (pretty gross). So, if you do have something to drink, I'll probably be happy to drink the same thing, whether it’s Two-Buck Chuck or a strange martini. Although I’m not playing that much tennis right now, I’ll hopefully be playing more and more as time passes.


    3. Hypothesis.

    You are going to ask me out on a date soon.

    4. Experiment.

    4.1. Materials.

    I am extremely picky about my dates/potential future mate, and place higher value on intelligence, sense of humor, your great taste in music and the fact that you don’t still live with your mom, as opposed to your abs, pecs or the size of your wee-wee. (although being a really terribly hot drummer or something won’t hurt you). I'm particularly looking for someone who has interests, passions, and the courage to follow them for as long as it takes. If I'm interested in dating you, I'll probably want to see you several times a week, even if it's just once during the week, and once or twice on the weekends - maybe we’ll go out to lunch on a Tuesday or a Thursday, and I’ll wear something really cute – I might wear some of my really cute boots.
    You should know words like spank, homework and pandemonium, and phrases like "multiple orgasm," and "I’m in this place called ‘class.’" It would be a grave blow to our potential romantic relationship if you like listening to Kenny G, or if you look like Kenny G, or if you also kill people for a living (because we’d be competing for marks, and that would make things a bit strained… although if you really do kill people for a living, it still might work, as long as they are all bad people, or if you work outside the San Diego metro area.

    4.2. Things We Can Do Together.

    We can go to a really rockin’ concert, play tennis, or see a movie. Or you can show me some of your artwork, or play me a few of your favorite albums (or get out an instrument and play me a song you wrote). Or we can just go out for coffee. Or better yet, we could go out to Bob’s Big Boy for Hot Fudge Cake.

    5. Conclusions / Unanswered Questions.

    I’m even cuter than these illustrations suggest. You should e-mail me. Where have I been all your life? I like hot fudge cake.
  2. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 44
    Me date a Pianist? no thanks im straight.
  3. fermentor666

    fermentor666 Veteran Member

    Joined: Sep 27, 2003 Messages: 8,152 Likes Received: 15
    Craigslist threads are worthless unless there are pictures of fatties with STDs. Trust me on this one.
  4. FunktionOne

    FunktionOne Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2000 Messages: 589 Likes Received: 0
    If she was on myspace I'd send a friend request over her way....then I'd simutaneously wink and motion a my hand like a pistol and go "click click"

    TURBOCAPSLOK Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 4, 2003 Messages: 2,550 Likes Received: 1
  6. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 44
    IF your still angry at me about what i said about asians then im sorry,
    please get off my back.

    TURBOCAPSLOK Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 4, 2003 Messages: 2,550 Likes Received: 1
  8. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 44
    Okay then. next time ill be more FUNNY when i post ;)
  9. exxell

    exxell Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 18, 2005 Messages: 179 Likes Received: 0
    thats too too much to read

    TURBOCAPSLOK Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 4, 2003 Messages: 2,550 Likes Received: 1
  11. The Leader

    The Leader Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Messages: 1,591 Likes Received: 1
    She seems like she may be funny.

    But then again, fat girls sound like I would fuck them on the phone.
  12. Fondles

    Fondles Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 31, 2001 Messages: 7,866 Likes Received: 28
    ^haha words out muh mouf
  13. rental

    rental Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 1, 2001 Messages: 7,641 Likes Received: 2
    shes 22 and used to be a dj?
  14. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
    hahaha geeb and turbo crackin me up.

    well, turbo is crackin me up.

    geeb, you are still not funny.
  15. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    "or if you also kill people for a living "

    I got shot down...