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funny storys

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by TheWhiteRabbit, Jul 17, 2001.

  1. TheWhiteRabbit

    TheWhiteRabbit 12oz Junior Member

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    funny storys

    Discussion started by TheWhiteRabbit - Jul 17, 2001

    just post some of your funny storys
     
    TheWhiteRabbit - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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  2. kg

    kg New Jack

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    kg - Replied Jul 17, 2001

    yo it was one summer day in like 1997 and me and two of my cousins were playing softball. well before we got to the field we had went to a mexican reastraunt and ate some spicy ass food!
    well after about a hour of playing in the hot sun and our food digesting my cousin had to use the restroom. i mean he had to use the restroom, he starting stinking up hompeplate!!
    well we told him to go home cause he stunk and there was no restrooms, but he said one more hit, one more hit!
    well he got one more hit and blam he shit his pants and he had to walk home cause he road his bike to the field. well to top it off on the way home some girls stopped in a car to mack to us and they said, hey we are going to get some beer for a beer for a party do you want to come with us? well we went of course but my cousin, well he shit his pants and couldnt! hehe well after that day we nicknamed him poopy-pants

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    i hate working and after 5 really good years with this girl out of no where she says i love you but im not in love with you! and bam its over!!
     
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  3. st.nick

    st.nick 12oz Member

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    st.nick - Replied Jul 17, 2001

    poopy pants. cutting edge... cutting edge..
     
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  4. taco bell bomber

    taco bell bomber 12oz Senior Member

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    taco bell bomber - Replied Jul 17, 2001

    i punch old people in the kneecaps and then runaway
     
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  5. tow up from tha flow up !

    tow up from tha flow up ! 12oz Member

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    tow up from tha flow up ! - Replied Jul 17, 2001

    haha nice.

    Here's a story for you.

    I met this guy about a year ago through my friend Leah. Leah really liked him but none of us could ever figure out if he was gay. He talked kindof with a lisp, had a really good eye for fashion, and always talked about interior decorating. On the other hand, he also mentioned some ex girlfriends and sometimes would talk about girls with 'nice boobs'. It was like the Pat skit on SNL, we were always trying to make hints to get him to say either way, but he just never did. She told me he got really wierd on her so she stopped hanging out with him. Leah moved to Italy and I never heard about him again until a couple months ago he came into my work and we struck up a conversation. He asked if I wanted to hang out so I gave him my number. So he calls me and I tell him to come pick me up from work so we can watch flix and I can check out his new house that he's redesigning. He picks me up and in the conversation there I find out that he's 30 years old, which wierded me out because I thought he was only 25 and he just looked older than he really was, but I was like no big thang, he's gay anyway. So after the movie he puts in some jazz romance and starts lighting candles and pours me a glass of wine. I was getting that 'I'm about to put the moves on you' vibe, so I was feeling uneasy. He sits down right in front of me and he's like "I have to tell you something." So I'm like wheew, big sigh of relief, he's going to tell me he's gay. I'm like 'oh sure jeff, you can tell me anything (hehe)'. He's like "well I don't want to, but I just have to. It's something I've been wanting to tell you every since we met" So I said "No seriously Jeff, you can tell me anything, I won't think any different of you!" So he hesitates and takes this huge breath and says "Well about a year ago, right before I met you, I was driving by your house and I looked up and saw you in your window changing" (record skips...) I'm like "what!?" All the sudden there's just this really bright pervert light shining right on his face, and he continues "You were topless, and I saw you standing there... don't you remember?" All the sudden I remembered, it was right after Leah brought him over to my house to hang out, and I was walking around my room trying to find a shirt and I looked outside and there was a red car (like his) parked outside my window and a guy starring straight at me jerking off. I closed the blinds really quick and heard the car speed away, I thought it was creepy as fuck, but I always just thought it was some stranger from the gas station next door. Needless to say I was feeling totally nautious at this point. I think he picked up on that so he continues even further "I mean I was just driving by, and you put your shirt on really fast.. It's just I think about this everytime I see you. I've always wanted to see you like that again." So, there goes the good old gay man thing he had going for him. I look around, realized I'm in the middle of nowhere, in a room of lighted candles, with a 30 year old psycho. I'm totally baffled "that was you???" "so you do remember?" he says with this total shit eating grin, like i remembered all along and was turned on by it or something.. I was like "i want to go home" so he gets all pissed off and starts telling me about how he had this great night planned for us and this and that. I thought for sure he was going to rape me and keep me in his basement or something. But by some grace of god he took me home, barely speaking a word the whole time. Then he called me that night. Three times the next day. Called me at work the next day, then again at home. and finally showed up at my work, and I told the hostesses to tell him I was busy. He left and I haven't heard from him since. I'm sure to keep the blinds closed now though and I never look at gay men the same.

    ugh!!!

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    PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.
     
    tow up from tha flow up ! - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  6. Trend

    Trend 12oz Member

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    Trend - Replied Jul 19, 2001

    doesnt sound like he was gay to me
     
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  7. MASk!

    MASk! 12oz Senior Member

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    MASk! - Replied Jul 19, 2001

    uhhh i think this was a post for funny stories thats not as much funny as it is creepy
     
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  8. tmf0

    tmf0 New Jack

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    tmf0 - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    hahahahha
     
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  9. LUKY

    LUKY 12oz Member

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    LUKY - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    my buddy and i were coming home from baja, and they have these checkpoints to make sure you are not running guns. well, we stopped at one, and this canadian was there and the mexican army dude was like "tengo armas?" and the canadian was all "NO! ..I.. NO ..SPEAKA ... YOUR..MEXICAN!" all slow and loud like this army dude was deaf, needless to say, that moron was there at that stop for a while. we laughed all the way home, which is a looong drive... oh, and we brought back like 6 cases of beer, which is illegal, youre only supposed to bring back 2 bottles of liquor each, and we were both under age, the customs guys didnt even check our ages.
     
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  10. Klypse

    Klypse 12oz Elite Member

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    Klypse - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    You underage drinker!
     
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  11. TOY

    TOY New Jack

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    TOY - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    i was with my friend's 2 little brothers and one of their friends. they live on the other side of town and we went to the mall over there. im driving in the parking lot looking for spot right next to the door cuz its like a million degrees and were lazy. so im drivng up one aisle and see a spot on the other side. when i turned, i burned my tires all the way around and there happened to be a family with a baby stand by their car and i park couple spots down from them. we're walking and the bitch is talking shit about my driving. she's like, "youre gonna run someone over driving like that". i was just like i dont live a fuck. she says, "you would if you ran over my baby." i said,"no i wouldnt. i dont know you or your fuckin baby. i should have ran all you motherfuckers over." basically, i told her i didnt give a fuck about anything shes saying cuz i dont live over there. she keeps talking so my friend's brother jumps in her face like, "shut the fuck up you stupid bitch." like the whole time she was talking, he was saying shit like that. that may not be that funny to some of you but thats the only story i remember right now. i got a lot of funny stories.
     
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  12. Harpo Marx

    Harpo Marx 12oz Senior Member

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    Harpo Marx - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    tow up, always means well but ends up screwing the story in the long run somehow. whatever.
     
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  13. Harpo Marx

    Harpo Marx 12oz Senior Member

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    Harpo Marx - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    Alright here's mine:
    I was at the Boston Library on a school thing and I was readin a book and takin stuff down, it's real quiet and at this point if I laugh again some teacher will kill me. Well low and behold the fattest guy I've ever seen in my entire life comes thundering through the ever so quiet library at top speed in one of those cart-type things. Only to stop at my table in which my back is turned and I'm trying desperately to hold my laughing in. Turns out he stopped and looked over at a kid about 4'9'' (he must have been hungry) then he jets off at record setting speed never to be seen again.
     
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  14. Trend

    Trend 12oz Member

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    Trend - Replied Aug 10, 2001


    you mean a wheelchair?
     
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  15. theFUME

    theFUME 12oz Senior Member

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    theFUME - Replied Aug 10, 2001

    nah yo he means a mortorized cart
    like the one the old lady has in the beggining of the movie dumb and dumber



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    "now how can i perfect this? livin' recless, die for my neclace"
    -nas
     
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