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Funny story

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Grandpa, Mar 15, 2005.

  1. Grandpa

    Grandpa Junior Member

    Joined: Oct 14, 2003 Messages: 202 Likes Received: 1
  2. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    I'll do the service of reposting the story:

    The 16 Year Old

    One of my roommates "hosts" perspective high school students during their visits to our school. One particular weekday, he was hosting a 16-year old guy from Summit, NJ. The kid was in our room for about 15 minutes before his cell phone rang. He picks up and the conversation goes like this:

    Kid: Yea? What do you want?
    Kid: No I don't want you to come up here.
    Kid: Ugh fine, the room is 209.

    From what I could tell, he didn't really seem thrilled that whoever he was talking to was coming up to the room. This is why to my surprise a few minutes later, a cute 16-year old girl walks into our common room. She wasn't in our room for more than 5 minutes before she asked if we had any beer. Mind you, it's 6PM on a Wednesday and we all have shit to do. Trying to be nice, we go into Tight Face's 'fridge and get some beers for all of us. The girl finished the beer, got another on her own accord, then proceeded to pour herself a cup of wine. Looking at this girl, there's no way she weighed more than 90 pounds and she wasn't more than 5'1''. After that she wanted to know if she could score any weed. Since none of us smoke, we really couldn't help her. This was probably the best idea anyway. Not for Adam. He called up one of his boys and pulled through.

    Before Adam sets up, Tight Face strolls into the room and tells me that the girl tried coaxing him into giving her more alcohol. He was supposedly in the bathroom shaving in the mirror when she came in asking for beer. When he told her that we were out, she started rubbing his shoulders and getting a little too close for comfort. Tight Face being the gentleman he is backed away from the girl on account of Liz (his girlfriend) and the fact that she was a wasted 16 year old. Tight Face leaves to go into the other room to shave his chest or something, and I go back to doing homework.

    As soon as Tight Face leaves, the girl comes into my room and starts trying to get me to give her beer. I told her she was out of luck and she pulls the same move on me that Tight Face had described minutes earlier. I get up, and tell her I have work to do and that she should go sit on the couch or something. A short while later, she ends up smoking with the perspective student and it became fair to say she was thoroughly shithoused.

    About half an hour later, I hear Napolean on the television in the common room and go out to watch. There are about 10 people watching the movie and the girl is in a half sleep half drunk state on the couch. The kind where your head slowly tilts back as if you were a narcoleptic, but you catch yourself right before you lose control. Well that all changed in a few minutes when she projectile vomited on our carpet. We put her up in the bathroom and had her finish her puking rally in the toilet.

    This girl was really fucked up and we put Tight Face in charge of taking care of her. He sat there in the bathroom making sure she continued trying to throw up and didn't lay on her back. She refused to communicate with us at all which kind of got me frustrated. I wanted to draw on her face because I'm an asshole, but no one would let me. [k3: he's not ready to play with the big boys] I settled for taking some stupid pictures of her with me and Tight Face. You can see a few below:


    After all was said and done, I decided to get her a cup of water from the Brita. I used one of those red beer pong plastic cups that every college student has, and I even went down to the dining hall to get her a bagel because I felt bad. We told her "host" (a girl that lives downstairs from us) that she was hooking up with the other perspective and that we didn't want to bother them. There was no way we were getting into shit for her being sick. Anyway, we left her alone in the bathroom for a little and I checked on her before I went to bed.

    Now this is the best part--I walk into the bathroom and I see her passed out on the floor on top of our Maxim and Stuff magazines and 2 of our towels. There's another towel draped over her body, a red plastic cup and a half eaten bagel on the floor in front of her. She looked homeless. Exactly like a bum on the street. I called in some of my roommates and we spent a few minutes throwing change into her little red cup and taking pictures. The next morning she was so hung-over it wasn't even funny. Ok, it was a little funny, but I bet she won't forget the night she made an ass out of herself in room 209.


    hahaha... If I was 10 years younger....
  3. 2 blaazed

    2 blaazed New Jack

    Joined: Jun 28, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 3
  4. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
  5. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    looking back.... it wasn't really worth reposting.

    bah.... amatures!
  6. DETO

    DETO Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,348 Likes Received: 154
    :lol: ..i would have hit it.

    deto/ :huh:
  7. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    i would have flushed her head in the toilet. stupid teenage drunks
  8. Gat Bush

    Gat Bush Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 23, 2003 Messages: 9,817 Likes Received: 130
    fucking skankalocious. should've farted on her.

    SPORTO Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2005 Messages: 1,086 Likes Received: 10
    16 is legal were I comes from, I would have a least got a few dick in mouth
    flicks of her little Asain ass...Faggots
  10. Grandpa

    Grandpa Junior Member

    Joined: Oct 14, 2003 Messages: 202 Likes Received: 1
  11. gatita

    gatita Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 24, 2004 Messages: 1,319 Likes Received: 1
    Im so happy I didnt drink in highschool. Now at least Im of legal age and laying on someone's floor, and theres usually about 3 others next to me passed out as well.

    -gats /nycisfullofalcoholics
  12. MrChupacabra

    MrChupacabra 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 10, 2001 Messages: 10,940 Likes Received: 683
    i hate any and all boots that look like that. especially when the girl thinks it looks good to fucking tuck their pants into them/roll them up to showcase their ugly ass boots. get stabbed. all of you.
  13. The Leader

    The Leader Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Messages: 1,591 Likes Received: 1
    Man. That story SUCKED.
  14. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    hahaha... chupa doesn't like the mucklucks.
  15. ASER1NE

    ASER1NE Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2001 Messages: 7,578 Likes Received: 3