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funny stories about retards.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by MeroSeis, Apr 18, 2001.

  1. MeroSeis

    MeroSeis Banned

    Joined: Apr 10, 2000 Messages: 1,616 Likes Received: 0
    One time I was on vacation in the Dominican republic and the town retard walked by eating a banana and laughing, and singing incoherently, then he looked at me with his big retard eyes and said "EEYUUUUH...HUMMSUHHH!" while simultaeneously throwing his arms up and stomping the ground like a rabid chimp. Then he walked away like nothing happened. Retarded people are hilarious. Fuck you if you think I'm mean.

  2. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13
    Haha, it's wrong to laugh... but I can't help it............
  3. Main Entry: 2re·tard
    Function: noun
    Date: 1788
    1 /ri-'tärd/ : a holding back or slowing down : RETARDATION
    2 /'rE-"tärd/ often offensive : a retarded person; also : a person held to resemble a retarded person in behavior
  4. Clay-Burner

    Clay-Burner Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 19, 2000 Messages: 1,298 Likes Received: 0
  5. brown twinkie

    brown twinkie Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2001 Messages: 8,127 Likes Received: 0
    oh man, this is bad, but in high school there was this kid named rodney.
    he used to spazz out hard if you touched him, apparently it got him...'excited'...yea.
    anyhow, for some reason we all called him 'rodney the bone lickin' tard'...i have
    no idea where it came from but at the time it was a good laugh [​IMG]
  6. Seym1has2no3fiends

    Seym1has2no3fiends Elite Member

    Joined: Nov 28, 2000 Messages: 4,132 Likes Received: 0
    Yeah, at my high school there's this well-dressed, large and very muscular disabled kid. He repeats everything you say to him. Once his "tardmaster" allowed him to change in the boys locker room. He removed all of his clothes and ran around, scaring jocks and freshmen. Eventually, his tarmaster grew weary of waiting and began to yell for him. After about a half an hour, he comes running out with his pants down to his ankles and he's pleasuring himself. He tries to pull his pants up at the same time, he's jerkin' it. You can imagine what it all looked like. Anyway, I have a LOT more stories if you wanna hear. BUT in all honesty, these "tardmasters" at our school seriously mistreat their children. I've seen kids with extreme cognative disabilites left unatended, some crying, some have gotten hit or cursed at. In all fairness, many of these children do attack their tardmasters... eh, well, whatever.
  7. Clay-Burner

    Clay-Burner Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 19, 2000 Messages: 1,298 Likes Received: 0
    Tell us more...i'm intrigued
  8. Ferris Bueller

    Ferris Bueller Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 25, 2000 Messages: 4,246 Likes Received: 71
    yo here's one...
    since i was a wee little kid...about 7...i went to a day-care at the ymca during summers. i work there now. but cut to the chase: there is this retard named tracy that has been going there for EONS....she walks with one arm horizontal placed in front of her chest with a flailing wrist and walks with a too short limp with both feet pointed inward. she sports a flat top in front to a long mullet in the back. it's fuckin hilarious. she likes to yell at kids calling them "hawt dawg!" and "goobahead!" and "pooh bee gone!"...fuckin shit...and when she's talking to you she is facing either right or left of you but and makes eye contact 50% of the time. everyone's been asking her age and she keeps saying 17 (she said it years ago, im thinkin she's 22 maybe..) When she laugs it's like Sha Nay Nay from Martin with Charlie Horse teeth mane...
  9. Ferris Bueller

    Ferris Bueller Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 25, 2000 Messages: 4,246 Likes Received: 71
    oh yea there was this other one from the same place (no longer at the YMCA tho) her name was erin and prolly tracy's best frient....walked around sporting a "Camp I AM SPECIAL" t-shirt and she drooled alot....but here's the catch. the FUNNIEST shit she does is she'll just wander into a corner or something and just start spinning herself in circles while looking up at the ceiling or sky chuckling...sometimes she fell. her eyes were out of proportion
  10. OGBforMumia

    OGBforMumia Member

    Joined: Sep 23, 2000 Messages: 710 Likes Received: 0
    my friend was telling me this story about a "slow" deaf kid who came to his house one day. (he just lived down the street) and my friend answered the door and the kid said "hey charwie, wanna go dwon to CBS (cvs) and get a joda (soda)? Ben (then) we could go my house and pway nigntendo sicty foura" ahhahaha good times....ill have more
  11. shyster

    shyster Member

    Joined: Mar 6, 2001 Messages: 752 Likes Received: 0
    there used to be this one at my highschool that would go around picking up change off the ground..it got to the point where kids would bring extra change to throw at him at lunch to watch him scramble for it.....hehehe

    we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars--oscar wilde
  12. Seym1has2no3fiends

    Seym1has2no3fiends Elite Member

    Joined: Nov 28, 2000 Messages: 4,132 Likes Received: 0
    There's an indian guy at our school who has outbursts of hindu or english. He will stand in the hallways and if you have cookies or donuts or other sweets, he'll grab them from you. He also punches his tardmasters. During events in the auditorium, especially serious ones, he'll all of a sudden stand up and say, in a loud voice, "No, you shut up!"
    More? Okay, there's a girl who talks to imaginary friends. She carries on large conversations in which she argues with herself and shares her day with herself, with gestures and everything. A year or two ago, I went to see the movie superstar with some girl. The next day, I see this girl who talks to herself standing in front of a stop light and talking to it. I thought it was a little ironic. I got more too...?
  13. MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega

    MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2000 Messages: 6,494 Likes Received: 1
    At my school as punishment they make you be a 'tardmaster' like my friend came into school drunk so they made him be a tardmaster for a week. They have to whip drool. I had to help him one day because I kept yelling random things.

  14. hahahahaha..whats that all about?
  15. Seym1has2no3fiends

    Seym1has2no3fiends Elite Member

    Joined: Nov 28, 2000 Messages: 4,132 Likes Received: 0
    In the mornings, sometime they sing or scream a lot. There's this one in a wheelchair who says "Hi" to everybody and reaches out to touch you with a drool covered hand.