funny shit

i found this prety funny, it might be old and posted before, this guy has got to be the ultimate prankster.....

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just

need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,

take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had

forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered

saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin

Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and

called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number).

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!"

and hung up.

I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it

in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or

had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're

an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the

Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the

caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an

asshole!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking

spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I

had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been

waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his

car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right

after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I

thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the

car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after

several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to

be.

So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.

"Hello"

"You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed "Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black

Beemer our front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start

saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called asshole # 2:

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello Asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

now."

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived

at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay

lover.

Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West

34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St.

There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front

of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

Now, I feel better.

Have a great day!

:crazy: :idea:

at first i thought this was gonna suck...cause it was a lot of reading and it looked like it was headed nowhere fast.

but damn was a wrong.

that was pretty funny...

ha ha ha thats a killer.

holy shit that was ill...:lol:

Originally posted by cheifblame

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived

at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

[/b]

wouldn't they get your caller ID?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH....funny shit

hahaahha this is great!!! i wish i was this cunning

i doubt all of this is true. it just sounds a little out there. and once all these police showed up they would have arrested these guys and after some time found out that they were setup and it would be very easy to check phone records.

Originally posted by Fox Mulder

i doubt all of this is true. it just sounds a little out there. and once all these police showed up they would have arrested these guys and after some time found out that they were setup and it would be very easy to check phone records.

Dammit! Why you gotta ruin everything?

Funny story no less, but still sounds a little made up.......

CAN I TELL YALL SOMETHING?

YALL ARE ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!

.

HAHA...I FEEL MUCH BETTER...

Originally posted by Fox Mulder

i doubt all of this is true. it just sounds a little out there. and once all these police showed up they would have arrested these guys and after some time found out that they were setup and it would be very easy to check phone records.

like i said...they dont call him fox mulder for nothing

hilariousity!

I have and asshole.

In my pants.

asshole!

:lol: hehehehehehe

Re: cheifblame

Originally posted by Vandalized

lol..so what happened next ?:confused:

LOL! nah it didnt happen to me its an email i got... it is a bit out there but

was there any particualr reason why it was to kill your gay lover?

nethin u wanna tell us?

:P

story is funny, but obviously it's bullshit

that story was looking bad, but it got good at the end. thanks.