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funny shit

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by blame, May 4, 2002.

  1. blame

    blame 12oz Junior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2001
    Messages:
    205

    funny shit

    Discussion started by blame - May 4, 2002

    i found this prety funny, it might be old and posted before, this guy has got to be the ultimate prankster.....


    For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just
    need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,
    take it out on someone you don't know.
    I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had
    forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered
    saying, "Hello?"
    I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin
    Carter?"
    Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
    anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and
    called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number).
    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!"
    and hung up.
    I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
    in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
    had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're
    an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
    calling would have to stop.
    So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
    Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the
    caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
    asshole!"
    So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
    spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I
    had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been
    waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his
    car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right
    after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I
    thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
    I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"
    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
    "Yes it is."
    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the
    car's parked right out front."
    "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
    "I'm home every evening after five."
    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
    "Yes?"
    "Don, you're an asshole!"
    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
    Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after
    several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to
    be.
    So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.
    "Hello"
    "You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up.)
    "Are you still there?" he asked.
    "Yeah," I said.
    "Stop calling me," he screamed "Make me," I said.
    "Who are you?" he asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen."
    "Yeah? Where do you live?"
    "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black
    Beemer our front."
    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."
    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
    Then I called asshole # 2:
    "Hello?" he said.
    "Hello Asshole," I said.
    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
    "You'll what?" I said.
    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
    I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    now."
    Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived
    at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay
    lover.
    Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West
    34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St.
    There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front
    of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
    Now, I feel better.
    Have a great day!

    :crazy: :idea:
     
    blame - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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    Dec 2, 2001
  2. dukeofyork

    dukeofyork 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2000
    Messages:
    1,589

    dukeofyork - Replied May 4, 2002

    at first i thought this was gonna suck...cause it was a lot of reading and it looked like it was headed nowhere fast.


    but damn was a wrong.
    that was pretty funny...
     
    dukeofyork - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
    1,589
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    Nov 9, 2000
  3. NATO

    NATO Guest

    NATO - Replied May 4, 2002

    ha ha ha thats a killer.
     
  4. swif1

    swif1 12oz Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2001
    Messages:
    7,066

    swif1 - Replied May 4, 2002

    holy shit that was ill...:lol:
     
    swif1 - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  5. swif1

    swif1 12oz Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2001
    Messages:
    7,066

    swif1 - Replied May 4, 2002

    wouldn't they get your caller ID?
     
    swif1 - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  6. cinnamon toast crunch804

    cinnamon toast crunch804 12oz Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2001
    Messages:
    711

    cinnamon toast crunch804 - Replied May 4, 2002

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH....funny shit
     
    cinnamon toast crunch804 - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  7. -MOE LESTER-

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    -MOE LESTER- - Replied May 4, 2002

    hahaahha this is great!!! i wish i was this cunning
     
  8. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder 12oz Loyalist

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2000
    Messages:
    12,434

    Fox Mulder - Replied May 4, 2002

    i doubt all of this is true. it just sounds a little out there. and once all these police showed up they would have arrested these guys and after some time found out that they were setup and it would be very easy to check phone records.
     
    Fox Mulder - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
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  9. Smok

    Smok Guest

    Smok - Replied May 4, 2002

    Dammit! Why you gotta ruin everything?
     
  10. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle 12oz Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2001
    Messages:
    8,147

    Dr. Dazzle - Replied May 4, 2002

    Funny story no less, but still sounds a little made up.......
     
    Dr. Dazzle - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  11. I45_TEXAS_I45

    I45_TEXAS_I45 New Jack

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    47

    I45_TEXAS_I45 - Replied May 4, 2002

    CAN I TELL YALL SOMETHING?






































    YALL ARE ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!
    .
    HAHA...I FEEL MUCH BETTER...
     
    I45_TEXAS_I45 - Rank: New Jack - Messages:
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    - Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
  12. -MOE LESTER-

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    -MOE LESTER- - Replied May 4, 2002

    like i said...they dont call him fox mulder for nothing
     
  13. SHELLTOES

    SHELLTOES 12oz Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2002
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    499

    SHELLTOES - Replied May 4, 2002

    hilariousity!
     
    SHELLTOES - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  14. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

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    Jan 30, 2001
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    14,673

    suburbian bum - Replied May 4, 2002

    I have and asshole.
































































    In my pants.
     
    suburbian bum - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
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  15. kissmyass#1

    kissmyass#1 12oz Senior Member

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    Feb 8, 2002
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    1,071

    kissmyass#1 - Replied May 5, 2002

    asshole!
     
    kissmyass#1 - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
    1,071
    - Joined:
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