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funny shit

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by blame, May 4, 2002.

  1. blame

    blame Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 2, 2001 Messages: 205 Likes Received: 0
    i found this prety funny, it might be old and posted before, this guy has got to be the ultimate prankster.....

    For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just
    need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,
    take it out on someone you don't know.
    I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had
    forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered
    saying, "Hello?"
    I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin
    Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
    anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and
    called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number).
    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!"
    and hung up.
    I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
    in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
    had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're
    an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
    calling would have to stop.
    So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
    Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the
    caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
    So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
    spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I
    had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been
    waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his
    car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right
    after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I
    thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
    I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"
    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
    "Yes it is."
    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the
    car's parked right out front."
    "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
    "I'm home every evening after five."
    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
    "Don, you're an asshole!"
    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
    Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after
    several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to
    So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.
    "You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up.)
    "Are you still there?" he asked.
    "Yeah," I said.
    "Stop calling me," he screamed "Make me," I said.
    "Who are you?" he asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen."
    "Yeah? Where do you live?"
    "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black
    Beemer our front."
    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."
    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
    Then I called asshole # 2:
    "Hello?" he said.
    "Hello Asshole," I said.
    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
    "You'll what?" I said.
    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
    I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived
    at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay
    Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West
    34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St.
    There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front
    of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
    Now, I feel better.
    Have a great day!

    :crazy: :idea:
  2. dukeofyork

    dukeofyork Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 9, 2000 Messages: 1,589 Likes Received: 1
    at first i thought this was gonna suck...cause it was a lot of reading and it looked like it was headed nowhere fast.

    but damn was a wrong.
    that was pretty funny...
  3. NATO

    NATO Guest

    ha ha ha thats a killer.
  4. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,067 Likes Received: 29
    holy shit that was ill...:lol:
  5. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,067 Likes Received: 29
    wouldn't they get your caller ID?
  6. cinnamon toast crunch804

    cinnamon toast crunch804 Member

    Joined: Aug 27, 2001 Messages: 711 Likes Received: 0

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    hahaahha this is great!!! i wish i was this cunning
  8. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Nov 23, 2000 Messages: 12,434 Likes Received: 86
    i doubt all of this is true. it just sounds a little out there. and once all these police showed up they would have arrested these guys and after some time found out that they were setup and it would be very easy to check phone records.
  9. Smok

    Smok Guest

    Dammit! Why you gotta ruin everything?
  10. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    Funny story no less, but still sounds a little made up.......
  11. I45_TEXAS_I45

    I45_TEXAS_I45 New Jack

    Joined: Feb 28, 2001 Messages: 47 Likes Received: 1

  12. -MOE LESTER-

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    like i said...they dont call him fox mulder for nothing

    SHELLTOES Member

    Joined: Feb 25, 2002 Messages: 499 Likes Received: 0
  14. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    I have and asshole.

    In my pants.
  15. kissmyass#1

    kissmyass#1 Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 1,071 Likes Received: 0