Guest chicken bone Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 i remeber i liked this girl and i spotted her around and about with her friend, they were talking, so i decide to come up behind her really cat like but then i guess they were having a really intense conversation because she suddenly swings around with her hands waving with her finger outstretched and her eyes closed (i dont know what the hell they were talking about) but anways, her finger went right into my nostril. hard. i was like OH SHIT then busted out laughing.. and then my nose started to bleed everywhere. it wasnt that embarrasing, just funny. the good old days. ------------------ chicken bone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defyoner Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 damn that sucks but its funny good post, i have never had a nose bleed, yet i was hit with a 2x4 hmm.. life is odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drinktheblood Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 i have to keep eye drops with me for my contacts, so i stick 'em in my front pocket everytime i leave the house. i was at this shitty club and i was out on the patio when this girl i know is like, "come over here for a second." so we walk offf to the side and she looks down and then back up again and real embarassed she says, "you can totally see your dick pressed up against your leg." i looked down and started laughing and explained what it was and she said everyone at her table had been talking about it so i got the attention of one of the other girls at the table and started rubbing the eye drop container from the outside of my pants and she freaked. i went over and explained ecerything, but it was still pretty weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MystikPW Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 bump for a good post...the first one had me laughing...heres a similar one i was dating this girl a year or so back and we were in the hallway...i came up behind her to give her a "surprise" kiss on the cheek and as i go to do that, she gets all freaked that im there and like spins around, and knocks heads with me in front of all these people i didnt know...then she ended up getting a huge bump on her head..and her friends of whom i didnt know kept telling me it was my fault Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZENYTH.ASP Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 back in high school... It had just snowed... I had a crush on this girl.... After school I spotted her walking to her car, and decided to stop being a puss and go talk to her. As I was walking threw the snow covered grass up to the parking lot I totally slipped and fell on my back....she saw everything, laughed a little, got in her car and drove off. end of story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
podrido Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 yeah i dont have any but i always crack the fuck up reading this topic everytime its posted. snoogins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLiPWriTeR Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 i was with this gurl one time fucking her and all,, and she fucking farted,,,,,,,,,,some nasty shit............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 this was in the 5th grade... The entire class went to an ice rink for PE. We were hanging in the hall way being little punks, and I see the cutest girl in the class (who everyone liked!). So I decide to be 'cool tough guy' and try to trip one of my friends who was waling by. Well I stuck out my leg, and the guy tripped, but he had a can of pop in his hands on it spilled all over my crotch. She didn't notice the trip (not like she'd care anyways), but she did notice the big wet spot on my pants. Then all of the evil pre-teen girls started taunting me for pissing in my jogging pants. *as if the shame of being in jogging pants wasn't enough already* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teister Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 One time in high school after I had just started going out with this girl, I was with my friends and she was a little ways away and i was being an ass and tried to pull this breakin move. Anyways, the move caused me to squeeze out this really loud fart and my girl ran away, and all my boys laughed cause they thought it was my sneaker sqeaking on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 i was at a high school dance, and my dream girl was there, so i didnt talk to her, eventually her friend and mine hooked up just to get me and my dream girl to dance r talk or whatever. so i get toghther with her, im nervos as fuck. we start dancing and hit if off really well, she then turns and has her back towards me and my crotch is pressing up against her ass, so i get this huge ass stiffy, she eventually turns around ans asks me about the big bulge in my pants, before i could say something for a response, she grabs it and says its alright..... weve been together for two years since then.... still together now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bug Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 girls always queef when i'm fucking them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOY Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 im sure ive had embarassing moments with girls but i remember poking this girl in the leg with my boner. we were in the house by ourselves so it wasnt that embarassing. oh and at school, i threw up on a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MystikPW Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 we were in the pool at a pool party...and i was making this cute girl laugh...and all of a sudden she shoots this green slimy snot rocket out of her nose that was the size of a dime at least...so its there hanging on her nose, and im ready to say something...then she dips her head under the water and starts flipping out about someones snot in the pool...then someone starts cracking on her cuz they knew it was hers...so she got out all embarassed and shit..people were ripping green pieces off those floating tubes and puttle them on their nose to make fun of her and shit....i felt so bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Morris Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 everyone talking about thier girls farting made me think of this. My folks were tou of town one weekend so the girl I was dating at the time decided to stay the night..classic scenerio. Have some sex then sleep naked and wake up the next morning..or that ws the plan. We get our thing on and we are laying there afterwards still kinda sweaty and ass naked. Her ass was pressed up against one of my thighs and then all of the sudden. This monsterous eruption flys out of her ass and on to my leg. It was a hell of a fart and that maixed with the sweat from some sweet love makin made this fucker loud. I knew she was embarassed so was going to say something to try and comfort her and keep from leaving (I knoew that of she rolled over he ass gas would fly out from under the covers and hit me in the face.) Before I could say anything she gets up grabs her clothes and runs out to her car ass naked. She wouldn't talk to me for 3 days. Plus as I had predicted when she got up the smell of that ass monster flew right into my face. I have spent the past 3 years since this happened trying to make an oder to rivil this one. ------------------ til I change my mind..STRAIGHT EDGE!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MystikPW Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 i was with this girl and we were walking back to her house, we stopped off at my best friends and she says she has to go to the bathroom...within 30 seconds shes back and my friend says, ill be right back i have to go too...so he comes back within like 10 seconds and is like "When you go to the bathroom in my house, please do not take a shit...and if you do, do not make it smell that bad...now i have to open up the window and i cant even go in there...hey, bro, come over here and smell this...its gross" she was so embarassed...and instead of her not talking to me, i couldnt talk to her...it grossed me out everytime i was with her...so i told her i couldnt see her anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnes 37 Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 I certainly dont want to run into one of those fart/poop/snot stories but thanks for the laughs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tow up from tha flow up ! Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 One time I let my ex boyfriend sneak up into my room while my parents were asleep. We were being all quiet whispering and making out, because he was scared of waking my parents up and them hating him. so anyway, around 4 in the morning i told him he should go home. so we're quietly unlocking my bedroom door.. shuffling out the creaking hallway. i go down the stairs ahead of him. i'm waiting at the bottom, it's pitch black, i can't see anything, and all the sudden i hear this whhhhooooosh boom boom boom boom! my mom comes racing to the top of the steps like jesss??? are you okay??? then my dad comes out in his boxers like is everyone okay???? and my poor boyfriend is sitting there about to cry from embarrassment. I could not stop cracking up though. apparently he stuck his foot in a box that was sitting on the steps and totally flew face first down almost a whole flight of steps. he had rugburn on his chin for weeks. ------------------ PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Mulder Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 i was at this girls house and she had a friend over who was hot as shit. we were in her back yard and she lives on a lake so we were out on her dock. i was standing near the edge and the hot girl pushed me in the water with all my clothes and shoes on. the bad thing was it was like 3 feet of water and the rest was mud so my shoes were ruined and it just sucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken George Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 iv never had sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoB Hope ONER Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 shit.. the title of this thread could be the subtext to the biography of my life. steady slobbin.. "you call that sexual healing? get the fuck out!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanity Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 in 6th grade, some girl slapped my back. it didn't hurt much or anything, but it did something to push me over the edge and i just started crying, and couldn't stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MystikPW Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 i got the shit kicked out of me by an angry little black girl when i was in 4th grade over a four squares/boxball game...she had long nails and scratched my eyes and i cried in front of the whole school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinnamon toast crunch804 Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 ok when i was a freshman in high school i had a girlfriend. She was really petit/skinny. She loved giving head and i got it all the time. There was one problem since she was so small she didn't have a big mouth. Because she couldn't open her mouth so wide her teeth( the dog teeth as they call them the pointed ones) would rub up and down my dick. The day after i would have these thin cuts on the side of my dick. they didn't hurt to bad, but it was noticable. the funny thing is that, we broke up and shortly after she started going out with a friend of mine. I was talking to him one day and i asked him if she gave him head he said "yeah." I told him my story and the problem i had. He was like "man, good thing i don't have that problem. That must suck." the reson i had that problem was because of my size (and im only normal sized) so that means DAMN HE MUST BE SMALL AS SHIT!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted September 4, 2001 Share Posted September 4, 2001 I had this on another post, but I think it's worth mentioning again: My toilet has the awful habit of completely spewing out its contents whenever it gets slightly clogged, mainly because my little brother shits fucking watermelons. So me and this girl are watching a movie at my place, lights out, all chill and whatnot, and she stops the movie to go to the bathroom. So I'm all chill, having no idea my little bro dropped a Lincoln log in there a few hours earlier. I hear the toilet flush, she comes back and cuddles next to me, and I hit Play. About ten minutes afterwards, I notice something black and small crawling in front of the TV. I thought it was a cockroach so I get up to go step on it... but then I realize it's been carried around by a moving puddle of water. I turn the lights on, only to realize the entire living room, hallway and dining room are COMPLETELY flooded, and that what I had thought was a cockroach was indeed a happy little piece of shit. Furthermore, similar pieces of shit were ALL over the place, getting under the sofa and slipping under doors. The best part was that all that shit belonged to the girl, and she was beyond embarrased. She helped me clean the mess up on the verge of bursting in tears, and I understand her cause I was SO pissed... not at her but the whole fucking wackness of the situation. After 3 hours cleaning her shit she left still embarrased without watching the end of the movie, and thinking about it, it was the perfect opportunity to bust out an "It's alright, babe, don't you worry about it" deal and hit that azzum. Ugh, so wack, so wack. Beer, El Mamerro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WeAreJerryLewis Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Ok ive got two of them for you, both with two different girls. The first one happend when i was like 15.. i was a sophmore in high school and had been dating this girl on and off, and i really liked her. So were at a friends house and we've been drinking and she decides she's in the mood so we go into my homies sisters room (shes on vacation) so we turn out the lights and its pitch black, i cant see shit and i have my glasses off so its not helping any. So i feel her next to me and i climb on top and i feel somthing stiff and furry, i cant figure out what going on and im getting really frustrated. So i say ( and this is embarrasing enough) "uh i could use some help here" at wich point the bathroom door opens and shes standing in there, i look down and im on top of a stuffed animal. The second one and this has to be the worst i can think of, im with my girl.. ive been dating her about 3 monthes and we havent told her parents (they hate me) and were out side her house in my car just foolin around. At the time i was driving a old firebird trans am and as were in the heat of this, butt naked and enjoying are self's she arches her back and her ass pushes against the steering wheel causing my car horn to honk for like 15 seconds loud as hell. So of course every one in her apartment opens there blinds to see us ass naked in my car flipping out... Being a kids hard ------------------ "If you voted for Bush in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avils Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Well one time I'd been at this party and a chick that I used to like in Grade 5 was there. We started talking and shit and I was pullin some moves.. she had a bottle of Frigate OP so we got stuck into that and a couple of hours later I told her I would walk her home.. so anyway, we were blind drunk and on the way to her house we passed my crib.. I told her to come in and we go into my garage where there is this old couch.. so all of a sudden we are both getting naked and I lay her down on the old couch and start gettin freaky.. I was so drunk I couldn't get a full mast up so I said "hey get on top"... anyway she got on top and we were into it when I hear a noise in the kitchen and then my Dad comes to the Garage (built into the house) and opens the door and switches on the light.. we both froze but I was like "Yo !" all smiling and shit.. he bailed quick but the chick freaked and started getting dressed.. ahaha she couldn't find her g-string anywhere until she picked up my pants and there was her g-string stuffed into my pocket.. in my drunken lecherous state I had decided to steal her panties (I was only 17) !! zoinks ! haha whoops.. so she gave me this FILTHY accusing look and we didn't even speak to each other again for about 6 months... Yep.. that was quite embarrasing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MystikPW Posted September 10, 2001 Share Posted September 10, 2001 i was at a party this weekend, and i had stayed up the friday night before...all night...and it was saturday at about 3AM...i ended up hooking up with this girl, so we went into my friends room and started hooking up and clothes started coming off...she starts to like dry hump me with my clothes on, and after like 10 minutes of doing this, i had to bust...so she didnt know i had came already and she gets up to take off her pants, and by the time she came back, i was sleeping...after a minute or so she woke me up fully clothed and said "maybe we could work this out another time, maybe when im more interesting to you" and walked out...another time i fell asleep fingering my ex girlfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dukeofyork Posted September 10, 2001 Share Posted September 10, 2001 all i know is when a girl tells you dont smell your finger afterwards, you might want to take her advice... http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//eek.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest K[O]MEGA Posted September 11, 2001 Share Posted September 11, 2001 my senior year there was this gurl all up on da jOck.. so one day i decided to wax her.. so in the woodshop class there was this attik so i take her up there during lunch..and i start piping he..well the bell rings..so i was about 4 seconds away from letting it all spit..so she pushes me off..and gets up and changes real fast..before peopel get in class and shit..little did she know when she pushed me off..i happend to squirt my love juice all over her neck..and my friend had her for her next class and he said she had saw dust covered cum shots on her neck..more emberassing for her then me i believe.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted September 11, 2001 Share Posted September 11, 2001 Originally posted by K[O]MEGA: my senior year there was this gurl all up on da jOck.. so one day i decided to wax her.. so in the woodshop class there was this attik so i take her up there during lunch..and i start piping he..well the bell rings..so i was about 4 seconds away from letting it all spit..so she pushes me off..and gets up and changes real fast..before peopel get in class and shit..little did she know when she pushed me off..i happend to squirt my love juice all over her neck..and my friend had her for her next class and he said she had saw dust covered cum shots on her neck..more emberassing for her then me i believe.. Awesome, my friend, simply awesome. Don't you love when you get the last laugh. It's like you almost had the short end of the deal because you didn't finish, but you did finish, and she didn't know. Sounds like she ended up with the short end of the deal....with semen spilled, hahahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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