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FUCKING HOLY ROLLERS

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by BOZACK, Feb 28, 2004.

  1. BOZACK

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
    okay so last night i'm at barnes & noble by myself reading DAZED like a fucking loser cos i'm broke and currently bored with "going out" in this town full of ugly white trash von-dutch wearing girls who smoke crappy cigarettes and dance in a very geeky manner.
    anyway all i wanna do is read about tom ford and crystal meth and other foolishness when this acned-out fat fuck in birkenstocks plops his rotund ass onto the chair next to me and decides he wants to be my friend. he asks what i plan on doing this weekend so i inform him of my plans to dissolve my liver and make my lungs bleed. then the second question that comes out of his mouth is "are you gonna go see 'the passion?'"
    at that moment i had to cover my mouth in order to gulp down the rush of acidic vomit that had just sprung up my esophagus. if i hear "the passion" one more time i will puke. this guy starts asking me if i believe in the sacrifice jesus made for me blah blah blah "man i bet you were raised catholic weren't you" he says (in a tone that implied that catholics are stupid). basically from then on it was catholic-bashing and baptist-promotion. he tells me that "yeah you catholics [i don't even go to church, much less consider myself "catholic" anymore] believe in alot of stuff, but i only believe in one thing, and that's jesus." well you should try believing in something more productive like the atkins diet dude.
    he tells me "i bet my church is a whole lot more fun than yours. go see the passion man."

    then he grabs my cell phone from the table (without asking) and puts his number in there and tells me to call him after i see the movie (which i won't) and that i should come to their "youth group" meetings. fucking holy rollers i swear they will DIE.
     
  2. why write?

    why write? Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 5,859 Likes Received: 1
    thats crazy, but check this...one time i was in barnes and noble reading some cartoon book and i was standing next to about 4 chairs next to eachother and all of a sudden my pants drop and the two guys sitting in the chairs stare at me and start laughing about it and one guy says "oops" in a gay tone...and i pulled my pants up very quickly and they both start like talking all gay to eachother and waving their hands... :eek:
     
  3. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    There's still holy rollers? Where are you in idaho? Maybe I've been in the military too long... Most everyone here is some form of atheist for the most part.
    Eh, religion don't bother me... It's when it takes the form of some kinda crusade when it bothers me.
     
  4. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    I have no idea what this has to do with anything but it's kinda funny.
     
  5. GucciCondom

    GucciCondom Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2003 Messages: 5,558 Likes Received: 168
    one day a jehovas witness came to my door and it was me and my boy and i swear to fuck i opened the door and threw a potatoe at her face
     
  6. Crimsøn

    Crimsøn Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 18, 2003 Messages: 2,120 Likes Received: 1
    Shit like that makes my blood boil :hatred:
     
  7. BOZACK

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
    i recommend semi-tight pants.
     
  8. why write?

    why write? Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 5,859 Likes Received: 1
    guccicondom -> :lol: hahah that cracks me up
     
  9. why write?

    why write? Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 5,859 Likes Received: 1
    yeah, now i wear tight jeans that fit me the right way, i like them better
     
  10. caL

    caL Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 2,056 Likes Received: 0
    ^^they both took place in barnes and nobles ;)


    anyways, bozak.
    lie to strangers, that way they will leave you alone.
     
  11. BOZACK

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
    i don't like lying. i just told him that my self-destructive plans are way funenr than any fucking youth group and he should try it some time.

    then i recommended acutane for his face.

    of course none of this fased him cos he's a patient and righteous man of god.
     
  12. why write?

    why write? Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 5,859 Likes Received: 1
    yeah, and another time i hitchhiked a ride from some mexican guy, he picked like 5 of my friends up and i had to liek sit on something wierd and he asked us all if we 'smoke dee marywana' and we all were like yeah and he was telling us about how he smokes crack while he works.....crazy guy, we told him we were like 10 years older then we relaly are and we made up a school name we went to and shit, kinda fun......


    and another time some old man told me to get in his car, but i told him no im not homosexual

    and another time a cop asked me if i was in a gang because i was wearing red
     
  13. 2ten

    2ten Member

    Joined: Apr 9, 2003 Messages: 385 Likes Received: 0
    I had a friend open the door to a jehova befor and told them he would love to sit and talk, but he was having lunch with Satan at the moment....


    Acutane is the shit.. i took that stuff in highschool and it cleared up my lil bit of acne in a month
     
  14. BOZACK

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
    dude this is totally unrelated. we are holy roller bashing, remember?
     
  15. why write?

    why write? Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 5,859 Likes Received: 1
    oh yeah, sorry...just reminded me of a lot of shit, i hate holy rollers...one came to my house today and i made my dog go near the door and just bark and bark and i looked out the window and just stared at the man and then he eventually left...asshole
     
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