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friday the thirfreenth will astrology...rob

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Jun 13, 2003.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    title by beardo hands

    hey look, its raining!! again!!!

    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of June 12, 2003

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    "People demand freedom of speech," said Norwegian philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, "as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use." I hope this smart-ass witticism gets you agitated, Aries. I hope it prods you to wonder whether maybe you sometimes let your mouth race ahead of your brain; whether maybe you're not as free from conventional wisdom as you imagine. Your energetic courage has propelled you halfway up the mountain; to get to the top you'll have to become more skilled at questioning your own assumptions.

    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    Visualize your greatest fear. How much of it is based on a possibility that the dreaded experience could actually happen? What part of your foreboding, on the other hand, is fueled by your active imagination, your habitual propensity to worry, and the pervasive angst the media has infected you with? Once you've meditated on those questions, Taurus, try these prescriptions: In the next 24 hours, take one step to reduce the level of anxiety you've accepted as normal. Take another step to diminish the power of your greatest fear. The astrological omens say you'll receive unexpected help if you do these things.

    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    You're a force of nature barely contained in your clothes, Gemini. You're elemental and irresistible; primordial yet playful. You're laughing like a river, dreaming like a volcano, and as surprising as a snowstorm on a summer day. You can talk the way the animals think. You remind me of a waterfall exuding fireworks. How could anyone not be drawn to you? How could anyone not feel a bit nervous while drinking in your unpredictable charisma? You're way over the top, and I like it very much.

    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    Here's a friendly warning to keep in mind during these last few days of test and trials. It comes courtesy of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Would you like to avoid the fate he describes, Cancerian? (Say yes! Say yes!) All you have to do is relax with a heroic effort. Release every last ounce of tension and strain. Surrender, slacken, and slow down with a consuming passion for repose. And do not, under any circumstances, try too hard.

    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    "I have a dream," Martin Luther King, Jr. sang during his stirring speech at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. on August 28, 1963. "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal'…I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." To help get yourself into alignment with current astrological influences, Leo, read or listen to King's entire speech in the coming days. Let it inspire you to create your own personal "I have a dream" manifesto. It's high time you fantasized to the hilt about creating heaven on earth.

    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    If an astrologer from the old school were writing this horoscope, he might tell you that now is an excellent time to advance your ambitions through gossipy manipulation. But since you and I are in the business of creating a new civilization based on values that feed the soul, my take on your imminent future is different. I say it's a perfect moment to engage in uplifting gossip that serves the greater good. I suggest that you praise unsung heroes and name everything that's working well. The irony is that for people like us, dissing people always hurts our ambitions. One of the best ways to enhance our own possibilities is to use our power of speech to promote others' chances for happiness and success.

    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    When I'm mountain-biking on the ridge, I usually stick to the relatively smooth parts of the dirt trails. Now and then, though, I head straight towards the most jagged bumps and deepest pits. It feels good to test my sense of balance so dramatically -- to have to make countless split-second adjustments as my bike rumbles over the rugged terrain. Far from being a hardship, the sensation is exhilarating. I do it on purpose because it's fun. From my analysis of the astrological omens, Libra, I reckon you're now in a phase comparable to the one I just described. May you enjoy every minute of the wild ride.

    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    Writing in Sky & Telescope magazine, Roy Gallant described how long it took for scientists to consider the evidence for meteorites. Until the 1800s, "the scientific community scoffed at those who believed stones fell from the heavens, though meteorites had been seen to fall and had been collected since ancient times by the Chinese and Egyptian…As stones continued to rain down from the sky, learned scientists explained them away as condensations of the atmosphere or concretions of volcanic dust." Let this be a cautionary tale for you, Scorpio. There's a certain truth you've been dead set against believing, let alone seeing, even though the evidence for it has been steadily growing. This week indisputable proof will come pouring in. Don't pretend it's not there.

    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    Do you have a muse? If not, get one as soon as possible. You shouldn't go another week without a mysterious, inspiring creature to drive you wonderfully crazy. If you do have a muse that is doing a fine job in service to your feisty spirit, reward him or her. Throw an exotic party in an unexpected location with vivacious revelers. Buy or make a surprising gift that has a muse-like effect on your muse. There is a third possibility: Maybe you have a muse that lately hasn't been whipping you into the kind of delightful frenzy you need to keep your soul healthy. If that's the case, go off on a retreat together and come up with a new plan.

    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik reported an amazing fact about an outdoor concert hosted by famed tree-sitter Julia Butterfly Hill. The 10,000 people who attended left behind less than one dumpster's worth of trash, whereas a normal crowd that size would have filled ten dumpsters. I suggest you begin mastering this approach to waste production, Capricorn -- especially the psychic version of waste. That way, you will never again have to slog through the massive karmic clean-up you're having to endure right now.

    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    At a candy store last Easter, I heard a philosophical debate about Jesus-themed confections. "It's just not right to eat a symbol of God," one woman said as she gazed at a chocolate Christ on the cross. A man agreed: "It's sacrilegious. An abomination." An employee overheard and jumped in. "I'll ask my boss to take that stuff off the shelf," she clucked. I was tempted to say what I was thinking: "Hello?! The holiest ritual of Christian worship involves eating Christ's symbolic body and blood." But I held my tongue; I wasn't in the mood for a brouhaha. Now I can speak freely, though. Which is lucky for you, Aquarius, because here's the good news: You're at the peak of your capacity to blend sensual pleasure with spiritual inspiration. A great way to express that would be to feast upon a delicious embodiment of the god or goddess you love best.

    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    Your first image of power comes from "Volcanoes," a poem by Susan Katz: "A man in his glass house, inside the heart of a blizzard, harvests roses." Let it console you, Pisces, whenever you feel the world around you is hostile or apathetic to the masterpiece that's quickening under your care. Your second image of power comes from poet Emily Dickinson. She said she always knew when she was reading a good poem because it made her feel like the top of her head was about to come off. As you nurture your masterpiece, Pisces, you'll know you're on the right track if now and then you have the sensation she described.
  2. beardo

    beardo Guest

    i have the worst/best sense of humor ever
  3. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    i would lean towards best.....
  4. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    i really do miss the old 12oz.....
  5. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    no, this is before your time......
  6. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    amen. and it's way before zz's time.

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    You never thought you'd laugh at the old pie-in-the-face gag again, but that was before they could accelerate pie to the speed of light.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    The residents of Tulsa will make you pay for every dollar of damage you've caused, but they're not heartless, so they'll let you keep the bison.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    Your visit to the country will inspire the coining of a new folk saying, "Some days you calm the beast, some days you free the cowboy."

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    Running for mayor might not seem too realistic, but just wait until they get a load of your new suit.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    From Thursday forward, your name will be mentioned every time flaming corn dogs rain down from the sky.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    There are, in fact, good and evil twins, but a greater range of moral choices is available to you as a sextuplet.
    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    Just so you know, it isn't still called "running away from home" when you're 31.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    Things will be back to normal in a couple weeks, but your current tick infestation is just the beginning.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    This week's smorgasbord of nudity and bullfighting will erase all remaining doubts about your ability to be a network TV programmer.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    The prosecuting attorney will be ruthless, relentless, and efficient in exposing your crimes, but at one point you'll be able to see right down her blouse.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    This week marks the four-year anniversary of your solemn oath to develop a lifestyle that is in no way influenced by Sandy Duncan.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    You know that one day you'll have to tell your family you're not really a chicken, but for now they really need the eggs.
  7. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    I dunno people always complain but i think 12oz is the same as it has always been. Mayby you are just getting too old.

    Anyways mine didnt seem to be right. I wish it was right. That would be cool.
  8. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    i have to play gta 3 now later doods
  9. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    "A man in his glass house, inside the heart of a blizzard, harvests roses."

    coincidence? i think not

    ...Long ago, in the before time, the people who were friendly and got together to share information in good faith outnumbered those that came to spam and waste webspace. even the toys were light-hearted and danced around the Joker pieces without talking much shit

    i can remember it well. can it be that it was all so simple then?

  10. yoshy

    yoshy Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2000 Messages: 738 Likes Received: 0
    bump for the rob in all of us. lets have a good...dry weekend. and by dry
    i dont mean sans alchohol.

  11. metallix

    metallix Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 7, 2001 Messages: 2,955 Likes Received: 1
    yes the old 12oz was good, however the "new" one isn't so bad either..
  12. metallix

    metallix Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 7, 2001 Messages: 2,955 Likes Received: 1
    thanks 4 these. keep it up.
  13. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    and you could count on one hand the regular picture posters.

    i gotta let this one sit a bit, these things are always fairly abstract
    to me.

    wassup roeski?
  14. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Browner, dammit, we need your cooperation - post more!

    "You're at the peak of your capacity to blend sensual pleasure with spiritual inspiration. A great way to express that would be to feast upon a delicious embodiment of the god or goddess you love best. "

    Weed, here I come.
  15. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    oh no... PMB's an aquaman too !