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fbi's top 11 deaths of the year

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by lord_casek, Apr 21, 2006.

  1. lord_casek

    lord_casek 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jan 24, 2006 Messages: 27,078 Likes Received: 1,007
    Every year the FBI is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes including Suspicious Deaths and Homicides. And the Homicide Investigations Unit puts out its Top 11 Homicides of that year.
    1- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake
    2- Peter Stone, 42 years old, was murdered by his 8-year-old daughter, whom he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her fathers coffee as he prepared dinner The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realise what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same method, one month later.
    3- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.
    4- Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realised just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.
    5- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.
    6- Julia Smith, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.
    7- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss, skin welts, blindness, and extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.
    8- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trinity nitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kg of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Okalahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim was ever found only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
    9- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Flat Hame, for years had a mounted F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
    10- Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard with a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double-sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! On one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.
    11- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas. He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar, destroying the house and him in the process.





     
  2. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    wanna edit that so it's a little easier to read? a few spaces to break it up and make it easier to digest would be nice
     
  3. Spruce Lee

    Spruce Lee Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 7, 2006 Messages: 1,798 Likes Received: 20
    "Two minutes later Berry was deceased"

    hahaha
     
  4. suckmydixie

    suckmydixie New Jack

    Joined: Apr 21, 2006 Messages: 1 Likes Received: 0
  5. ContractKiller

    ContractKiller Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 6, 2006 Messages: 124 Likes Received: 0
    thats the funniest thing i ever read in my life!!!
     
  6. Spitfire15

    Spitfire15 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 11, 2006 Messages: 10,640 Likes Received: 585
    HAHAHA NUMBER 8 AND 11 ARE THE BEST

    a 55 meter hole from filling his wifes car with explosives. Holy fucking shit!! :lol:
     
  7. FunTimePartyTeam

    FunTimePartyTeam Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 19, 2005 Messages: 2,029 Likes Received: 0
    I want to know where that big c4 blast went down. A hole 55 m deep? Damn.
     
  8. YO THAT 8 YR OLD GIRL KILLING BOTH HER PARENTS WITH POISON IS ROWDY.
     
  9. geezpot

    geezpot Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 20, 2003 Messages: 3,904 Likes Received: 158
    #3-the dad gives his daughter a shotgun and says if buddy gets frisky cap him? hahaha I guess being a killer is better then being a slut.
     
  10. paintfetish

    paintfetish Member

    Joined: Mar 17, 2003 Messages: 456 Likes Received: 8
    those are all pretty suspect, fake
     
  11. shitting

    shitting Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2003 Messages: 6,381 Likes Received: 84
    Fake. everyone would have heard about 500mtrs or road being blown up
     
  12. rattleytins

    rattleytins Member

    Joined: Jun 29, 2004 Messages: 633 Likes Received: 0
    im not reading that disgusting block of text


    interesting as it may be
     
  13. Harvey Wallbanger

    Harvey Wallbanger Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 13, 2004 Messages: 8,567 Likes Received: 400
    You may have already won a million dollars.
     
  14. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
    as soon as i read the one about the crater i knew it was fake
     
  15. Hayabusa

    Hayabusa Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 7, 2006 Messages: 6,501 Likes Received: 209
    yeah that crater is pretty fucked up
    i wouldve heard about it

    that harlem killing was dope tho.....good way to off a drunken friend without getting in shit
    i mean really? what kinda charges would you be facing if someone else killed em
     
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