lord_casek Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Every year the FBI is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes including Suspicious Deaths and Homicides. And the Homicide Investigations Unit puts out its Top 11 Homicides of that year. 1- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake 2- Peter Stone, 42 years old, was murdered by his 8-year-old daughter, whom he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her fathers coffee as he prepared dinner The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realise what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same method, one month later. 3- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case. 4- Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realised just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent. 5- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report. 6- Julia Smith, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial. 7- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss, skin welts, blindness, and extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up. 8- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trinity nitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kg of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Okalahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim was ever found only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road. 9- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Flat Hame, for years had a mounted F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway. 10- Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard with a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double-sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! On one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased. 11- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas. He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar, destroying the house and him in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 wanna edit that so it's a little easier to read? a few spaces to break it up and make it easier to digest would be nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spruce Lee Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 "Two minutes later Berry was deceased" hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suckmydixie Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/fbitop20.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ContractKiller Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 "Two minutes later Berry was deceased" hahaha thats the funniest thing i ever read in my life!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire15 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 HAHAHA NUMBER 8 AND 11 ARE THE BEST a 55 meter hole from filling his wifes car with explosives. Holy fucking shit!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunTimePartyTeam Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I want to know where that big c4 blast went down. A hole 55 m deep? Damn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ginger Bread Man Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 YO THAT 8 YR OLD GIRL KILLING BOTH HER PARENTS WITH POISON IS ROWDY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 #3-the dad gives his daughter a shotgun and says if buddy gets frisky cap him? hahaha I guess being a killer is better then being a slut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paintfetish Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 those are all pretty suspect, fake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Fake. everyone would have heard about 500mtrs or road being blown up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rattleytins Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 im not reading that disgusting block of text interesting as it may be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 You may have already won a million dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 as soon as i read the one about the crater i knew it was fake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayabusa Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 yeah that crater is pretty fucked up i wouldve heard about it that harlem killing was dope tho.....good way to off a drunken friend without getting in shit i mean really? what kinda charges would you be facing if someone else killed em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man with the Answers Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 wanna edit that so it's a little easier to read? a few spaces to break it up and make it easier to digest would be nice yeeeee!!!! great writing: great editing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_nightcrawler Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Is this factual or fictional? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obvious Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/fbitop20.htm YEP. THAT SHIT IS A HOAX. GLAD SOMEONE POINTED IT OUT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_nightcrawler Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Ye thought it was fictional. As if the FBI would make "the top 11 deaths of the year". If the FBI did that, i bet it would be against the law Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fermentor666 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Casek: Please post as a new thread every chain letter that gets forwarded to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 This was acutally the lamest thread ever to grace channel zero. It was so blatantly fake, yet not even close to funny at the same time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_nightcrawler Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Casek: Please post as a new thread every chain letter that gets forwarded to you. Dont encourage him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 i love the kkk one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guerillaeye Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 #3-the dad gives his daughter a shotgun and says if buddy gets frisky cap him? hahaha I guess being a killer is better then being a slut. what about being a killer slut??? that sounds like the makings of a awasome movie. *KILLER SLUT part III* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatalist Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 bizarre. the 8yr old is a fucking nut case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Jefe Uno Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Some were pretty good, while others were obviously fake even before the snopes thing was posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.