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excerpts from a job application

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Mr. Mang, Apr 26, 2005.

  1. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    i was job hunting today and picked up an application to work at 'the ups store'. to my dismay, i discovered some very interesting things on the application - grammar errors, spelling errors, and a weird question or two. i know i'm far from an english professor, but check this out:

    (by the way, these are exactly how i saw them on the application)


    "Grammer school:"

    "A customer walks in with a seeing eye dog. Who fills out the UPS form?"

    "A nice gentleman has a 100 pound box in the truck of his car. What do you do?"

    "Many times throughout the day we must do things that we don't agree with or don't like to do. Name one of those things you don't like to do and how you feel when you have to do it."

    "If you went to a gas station with your car and needed a flat tire fixed. The attendant said he wasn't too sure how to do it, but thought he would try. What would you do?"

    "When you do into a store that provides service, how do you expect the service to be?"
     
  2. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    please....

    I got a resume that was a video of the guy ( who's a vantriquilist (sp?))
    and his 'Buddy Monkey' telling me why I should hire him. It was so well produced
    that I wrote him back telling him that I wished I had a job for him, and that
    his video was top shelf, but sorry.... no damn dirty apes allowed.
     
  3. westy

    westy Guest

    Ahhh what line of work are you in Key?? ^^^^
     
  4. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    video-television-film post
     
  5. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    sleeping your way to the top is the way to go. it's slow moving, but at least you'll be well rested
     
  6. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,986 Likes Received: 311
    whats wrong here, im missing it i guess...



    "A customer walks in with a seeing eye dog. Who fills out the UPS form?"
     
  7. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    i just want to write: WELL THE FUCKING DOG SURE AS HELL ISN'T GONNA DO IT!!!
     
  8. GnomeToys

    GnomeToys Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 24, 2003 Messages: 2,616 Likes Received: 4
    God. The same one that had forsaken the blind man. It's only fair.

    Ask him how much she weighed and what he did with the rest of her.

    Cocaine. Addicted.

    Kill him.

    Cheap, relaxing, and with a happy ending.

    Return that app just like that, I guarantee I just got you that job.
     
  9. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
  10. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    haha that is awesome!
     
  11. WhiteOx

    WhiteOx Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 4, 2003 Messages: 3,691 Likes Received: 0

    What an idiot. No one wants to hire a freak
     
  12. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
    thats fucking AWSOME.
     
  13. CamAlmighty

    CamAlmighty Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 25, 2003 Messages: 1,070 Likes Received: 0
     
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