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excerpts from a job application


Mr. Mang

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i was job hunting today and picked up an application to work at 'the ups store'. to my dismay, i discovered some very interesting things on the application - grammar errors, spelling errors, and a weird question or two. i know i'm far from an english professor, but check this out:

 

(by the way, these are exactly how i saw them on the application)

 

 

"Grammer school:"

 

"A customer walks in with a seeing eye dog. Who fills out the UPS form?"

 

"A nice gentleman has a 100 pound box in the truck of his car. What do you do?"

 

"Many times throughout the day we must do things that we don't agree with or don't like to do. Name one of those things you don't like to do and how you feel when you have to do it."

 

"If you went to a gas station with your car and needed a flat tire fixed. The attendant said he wasn't too sure how to do it, but thought he would try. What would you do?"

 

"When you do into a store that provides service, how do you expect the service to be?"

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please....

 

I got a resume that was a video of the guy ( who's a vantriquilist (sp?))

and his 'Buddy Monkey' telling me why I should hire him. It was so well produced

that I wrote him back telling him that I wished I had a job for him, and that

his video was top shelf, but sorry.... no damn dirty apes allowed.

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Originally posted by Mr. Mang@Apr 26 2005, 09:09 PM

"A customer walks in with a seeing eye dog. Who fills out the UPS form?"

 

God. The same one that had forsaken the blind man. It's only fair.

 

"A nice gentleman has a 100 pound box in the truck of his car. What do you do?"

 

Ask him how much she weighed and what he did with the rest of her.

 

"Many times throughout the day we must do things that we don't agree with or don't like to do. Name one of those things you don't like to do and how you feel when you have to do it."

 

Cocaine. Addicted.

 

"If you went to a gas station with your car and needed a flat tire fixed. The attendant said he wasn't too sure how to do it, but thought he would try. What would you do?"

 

Kill him.

 

"When you do into a store that provides service, how do you expect the service to be?"

 

Cheap, relaxing, and with a happy ending.

 

Return that app just like that, I guarantee I just got you that job.

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Originally posted by <KEY3>@Apr 27 2005, 02:17 AM

please....

 

I got a resume that was a video of the guy ( who's a vantriquilist (sp?))

and his 'Buddy Monkey' telling me why I should hire him. It was so well produced

that I wrote him back telling him that I wished I had a job for him, and that

his video was top shelf, but sorry.... no damn dirty apes allowed.

 

 

What an idiot. No one wants to hire a freak

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