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Every day for the past five years, man orders and eats a med. pizza and 4 diet cokes

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Poop Man Bob, Apr 28, 2002.

  1. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Every day for the past five years, man orders and eats a med. pizza and 4 diet cokes

    Discussion started by Poop Man Bob - Apr 28, 2002

    http://www.nj.com/living/ledger/index.ssf?...98605153877.xml


    Saturday, April 27, 2002


    BY PETER GENOVESE
    Star-Ledger Staff

    Every day for the past five years -- with a handful of exceptions -- Mike Uris has called the Domino's on Main Street in Ramsey, where he lives, and orders the same thing. Medium pizza, four Diet Cokes. You want to hear the specials, Mr. Uris? No, he'll politely say, I really don't.

    Do the cheesy math -- in five years, Uris, a retired advertising director, has eaten nearly 2,000 eight-slice pizzas. Six slices for lunch, at 11:15 a.m.; one slice for dinner, at 6 p.m., and one slice, plus all the crusts, for his late night snack, around 11. The dinner and snack slices he eats cold; he doesn't own a microwave, but wouldn't heat the slices up even if he did. Four Diet Cokes come with every order -- two for lunch, one for dinner, one for the late night snack. Always delivered; he's never even been in the Domino's.

    Asked if most people would call him, well, cuckoo, Uris smiled.

    "I probably am," he said. "I don't find excessive sanity a virtue."

    Every few months, Uris, who never eats breakfast, will actually eat something other than pizza. A week ago, he had dinner at a Ridgewood restaurant with his 24-year-old son, Adam. "Broiled salmon with mashed potatoes and carrots," Uris recalled. "And the treasure of treasures, a piece of cherry pie and a glass of milk."

    Maybe deep down, he's an old-fashioned guy.

    How did all this begin? How does one decide to devote his life to pizza? Five years ago, when he was living in Ridgewood, Uris had the sudden urge for a medium plain pizza from Domino's. He can't explain it; the feeling came over him like, well, a pound of dough (which, with 4.2 ounces of sauce and five ounces of cheese, make up the average 12-inch medium Domino's pizza).

    "They deliver," he said, trying to explain his obsession. "For the past five years, I've dealt with a number of (Domino's employees). They are without exception the nicest bunch of people I've ever dealt with."

    In 30-plus years in the ad business, he dealt with some not-so-nice people. He spent an "awful three years" at one New York ad agency. "I had a supervisor who was an a ----, and I said so," he explained. "I was fired the next day."

    He met his future wife, Lynn, on a photo shoot; married 15 years, they divorced in 1990. They have one son, Adam; Uris has two stepdaughters, Jessica and Amanda. Uris goes to his ex-wife's for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Pizza is nowhere to be found.

    Uris -- 5 foot 10, 210 pounds -- lives in a tidy, neat apartment, apart from the rumpled bed where at 11:15 every morning he plunks his pizza and two cans of Diet Coke. A leather couch in the shape of a giant baseball glove and an oversize lamp with a neck as long as a giraffe's adorn the living room. Ten empty pizza boxes sit on a kitchen counter; Karen, his cleaning woman, tosses them in the recycling bin outside.

    Uris' passion for pizza calls to mind the single-track diet of Jared Fogle, the guy on the Subway ads who went from 425 pounds to 190 eating practically nothing but Subway subs. But Fogle did it for just one year; Uris has been on the "Domino's Diet" for five. He said his cholesterol is "high-ish," although he doesn't remember the number, but said it's not anything he needs to take medicine for.

    Get the door, it's Domino's? Uris got the door the other day and nothing happened. It was stuck. Outside stood Jennifer Faust, one of the regular delivery persons, with a medium ground beef and pineapple (he changes toppings every few months). Would the streak be broken? Would Mike Uris survive a day without pizza? Fortunately, after several hard shoves, the door gave. Uris handed over his check (he never pays cash because he doesn't like leaving a lot of money around), Faust handed over the pizza and Uris headed to his kitchen, where he popped the pizza, as usual, into the refrigerator for several minutes.

    "It takes off the heat," he explained. "Otherwise I'd burn my mouth."

    Then the Yankees fan and movie buff (two of his all-time favorites: "Casablanca" and "Hoosiers") retired, as usual, to his bedroom, where, stretched out on his bed, TV tuned to "NYPD Blue," Uris dug into the same lunch/dinner, and beverage, he's had the past five years.

    "They sent me four (regular) Cokes one day last year," he said. "I still have them."
     
    Poop Man Bob - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  2. abortron

    abortron Guest

    abortron - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    "I don't find excessive sanity a virtue."

    brilliant.
     
  3. sneak

    sneak Guest

    sneak - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    erm........riiiittttteeee
     
  4. NATO

    NATO Guest

    NATO - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    how can you survive on pizza and coke alone??
     
  5. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one 12oz Elite Member

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    dr. frink one - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    every month or so I order a pizza and I eat it all and then the box sits there and the smell is there when I wake up and I feel all greesy....
    that is so sad..
    and gross...

    all i can think of is cheap mozzarella in his veins
     
    dr. frink one - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  6. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle 12oz Veteran Member

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    Dr. Dazzle - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    Is that supposed to be healthy or something??
     
    Dr. Dazzle - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  7. kissmyass#1

    kissmyass#1 12oz Senior Member

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    kissmyass#1 - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    i found somebody who loves pizza more than me........:D
     
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  8. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang 12oz Elite Member

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    Mr. Mang - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    yes!
     
    Mr. Mang - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  9. grandmaster

    grandmaster 12oz Member

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    grandmaster - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    very interesting indeed

    i quit junk food but i still love pizza pizza expresssssssssssssss whoop whoop
     
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  10. Wilt

    Wilt Guest

    Wilt - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    thats gross..dominos is such cheaply made pizza..i used to work there and i also worked at a gourmet pizza parlor...i must say dominos gets the thumbs down
     
  11. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris 12oz Veteran Member

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    Zack Morris - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    I thaught I was a lazy bastard...atleast I will try and eat something a litle different everyday, and try to make it myself. What a lazy old fucker.


    this old man will be me in 40 years
     
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  12. SKUMBALUCKAH

    SKUMBALUCKAH 12oz Senior Member

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    SKUMBALUCKAH - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    Seems like an ad for D****** Pizza if you ask me.
     
    SKUMBALUCKAH - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  13. xdyingfetusx

    xdyingfetusx New Jack

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    xdyingfetusx - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    shit

    if he ate all that pizza..i wonder what his shit looks like :love2:
     
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  14. platapie

    platapie Guest

    platapie - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    how much porno do you think he watches?
     
  15. taco bell bomber

    taco bell bomber 12oz Senior Member

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    taco bell bomber - Replied Apr 28, 2002

    i live about 20 min from him..cool
     
    taco bell bomber - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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