hellcouncil Posted August 1, 2001 Share Posted August 1, 2001 be a man about this shit. once i was wacking away to "Deep Face 9" and my roommate came in, so i yelled "SHIT, DUDE, NO, I'M JACKING OFF" and jumped off the couch and turned my back to him and was like "DUDE, IT'S COOL, I JUST STARTED, ONLY HAVE A BONER" the whole time he's just staring at me and kind of holding the door open, hasn't come in yet. so when i'm zipped up and the tv's off, he comes in and his girlfriend follows, they dont say a single word to me and go to his room. i get out of the apt as fast as i can and drive around for like 40 minutes going "AHAHAHHAHHA FUCK" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellcouncil Posted August 1, 2001 Author Share Posted August 1, 2001 ps - "deep face 9" is not worth the money. there's hardly any oral action at all, but it's the single most rimjobs i've ever seen in a porno. i dont know why they'd advertise it as oral mania at all, it was all rimjobs. i wasnt wacking it to the rimjobs, though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tofu Posted August 1, 2001 Share Posted August 1, 2001 What is a rimjob? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellcouncil Posted August 1, 2001 Author Share Posted August 1, 2001 ASK YO MOMZ OOHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP! it's licking of the asshole. unsanitary and UNCOOL!!!! STAY IN SCHOOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subclub Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 one time i was str8 jackin to girls gone wild, the spring break one. yeah anyway right when i was about to bust a nut, they cut to a new girl and i swear to god it was my big sister. and it was too late, i blew my load right at that moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemersion Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Originally posted by subclub: one time i was str8 jackin to girls gone wild, the spring break one. yeah anyway right when i was about to bust a nut, they cut to a new girl and i swear to god it was my big sister. and it was too late, i blew my load right at that moment. ahahahahahahahahaha you lose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klypse Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 I was jackin to some hardcore movie on the nzet, my brother walks in, and says, "dude, www.xxxmovies.com is better." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 my girl was being a bitch and i was pissed off at her, so i started jackin in my room. then she busted in and looked at me really wierd.... then she gave me head..... it was a win/win situation. man, was i releved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobobi11 Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Originally posted by Klypse: I was jackin to some hardcore movie on the nzet, my brother walks in, and says, "dude, www.xxxmovies.com is better." Ah, brotherly love. Only a brother would walk in on something like that and tell you that you were doing it wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 One new years I was with this hottie blondie, and she was down to the thong, but wouldn't get loose. So she rolls over and pretends to sleep. so I turn on her TV (with a blackbox) and flip to some porno action. If she's not good to go.. I still am. damn wierd, pulling it to porn with a naked girl in the room who you can touch. bizarre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subclub Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 yeah i remember that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trend Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Originally posted by bobobi11: Ah, brotherly love. Only a brother would walk in on something like that and tell you that you were doing it wrong. fuck that if i ever walked in on my little brother jacking off i'd be scarred for life. but my older sister has caught me twice... QUITE embarassing, let me tell you [This message has been edited by Trend (edited 08-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 im not sure this counts but i was playing porn star with this girl and on the post sex cum shot wack off i missed the breast and nailed a three pointer directly in her nostril....it was kind of embarassing back then but now its just funny ------------------ brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trend Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Originally posted by cmeup: i was in my room on my comp, when i had one..looking at porn on tha net. i was wacking and shit, and just about to cum right, you know when you about to start twitching, and my mom pulls a kick door. KICK DOOR FOR REALS like she was trying to catch me... so i got this computer desk thingy right, so i slide hella far up under it....you know, still sitting in shit, with my pants around my ankles. and nut all over me. so im like *hhhhhhhhey mommmmm" and she is giving me laundry then she leaves. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'><~ hahahahaahha, that is some funny ass shit... i would be so embarrassed if my mom caught me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Originally posted by boogie hands: im not sure this counts but i was playing porn star with this girl and on the post sex cum shot wack off i missed the breast and nailed a three pointer directly in her nostril....it was kind of embarassing back then but now its just funny I had one where it went into her ear from doggie style! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmackMYass Posted August 5, 2001 Share Posted August 5, 2001 mother fucker. as i was reading this funny shit. my dad popped in to see what i was laughing at. And he fuckin caught me reading jack off storied...what the fuck.. hes makin me get off the net now..son of a bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_SecretAgentX9 Posted August 5, 2001 Share Posted August 5, 2001 hahahaha this is the funniest thread i've read in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dukeofyork Posted August 5, 2001 Share Posted August 5, 2001 ha ha...this is good... havent been caught....yet.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otherwise Posted August 5, 2001 Share Posted August 5, 2001 i got caught wackin off to this http://www.deviantdesires.com/kink/amputee/longj.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otherwise Posted August 5, 2001 Share Posted August 5, 2001 and this... http://midget-porn-pics.com/images/7908x232.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backside country tagger 2 Posted August 6, 2001 Share Posted August 6, 2001 midgets are sweet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backside country tagger 2 Posted August 6, 2001 Share Posted August 6, 2001 mommy came in and she caught me one handed dreamin about the girl next door picture this i was chokin that chicken should have locked the bedroom door how could i get caught while i was pickin up a pound of meat all this time she was standin there unpolishin my good friend pete. when you are a young man you need a little thrilller keep a dirty magazine undaneth your pilla you never admit when you tenderize your steak or when you been wrestlin with the one eyed snake. a box of cleneax on the counter to keep it clean tube of lotion on the on the sopha it was vasaline heard my breathin gettin louder i was in heat all the sudden it was ova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tow up from tha flow up ! Posted August 6, 2001 Share Posted August 6, 2001 I caught my pops lookin at porn once. I kindof ran out of the room, I don't know if he was jerkin it or not. That shit's not even remotely funny though. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK ------------------ PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyeBddub Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 Originally posted by tow up from tha flow up !: I caught my pops lookin at porn once. I kindof ran out of the room, I don't know if he was jerkin it or not. That shit's not even remotely funny though. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK whats even weirder is your admitting that to a bunch of complete strangers if that ever happened to me i'd do my best to forget it on purpose and never mention it to another soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUKY Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 bust out all stealthy like james bond you'll neva get caught with your dolfin doin flips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backside country tagger 2 Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 how the hell are you supposed to wack off and type at the same time , you got to be an expert to do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Mulder Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 Originally posted by cmeup: best way to jackoff is with a girl masterbating on tha phone. god i love internet 'cyber pimping'... god bless america IBTEASEforPRESIDENToner. cmeup<~ I had something like that happen, but it didn't have anything to do with the internet. This girl was talking all sexy to me on the phone and i guess she thought i was jacking off(which i wasn't...seriously), but then she went and told a bunch of people that i was.what a whore. i hate her now for other reasons though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOY Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 nope, i go in my room and lock the door. everytime i go to my friend's house without calling first, his sister lets me in and i bust down his bedroom door. almost everytime hes jacking off. or when i dont open the door im like," what are you doing in there?" hes like," what do you think?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOY Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 oh you know whats better than vaseline? cetaphil hand cream. it costs like $10 at the store but once it starts melting while youre doing your thing, its the best. so slick like wet pussy or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stooopid Posted August 7, 2001 Share Posted August 7, 2001 huh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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