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don’t know why i feel so skinned alive....rob

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Jul 18, 2003.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    My thoughts are misguided and a little naive
    I twitch and i salivate like with myxomatosis
    you should put me in a home or you should put me down
    I got myxomatosis
    I got myxomatosis

    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of July 17, 2003

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    I hope you decided against participating in that weird contest -- you know, the one in which you would have competed to see who could bang their head against the wall the most times before passing out. I trust you also turned down any invitations you got to show off your amazing wounds or prove how attractive your problems are. Continue to show a similar forbearance in the coming week, Aries. The worst is over. The pressure to express yourself perversely will soon diminish as the very hassles that have been frustrating you will morph into elegant opportunities.

    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    Karvina, a town in the Czech Republic, has passed a law making it illegal to grow weeds. Offenders can be forced to pay a hefty fine if the Weeds Commission finds, say, a thistle flourishing amidst the potato plants. I'm tempted to enforce an equally stringent requirement on you Tauruses, at least for the next two weeks. For your own long-term good, as well as everyone else's, you cannot afford to be lax towards interlopers, whether they're actual or metaphorical weeds. Maintain the highest standards, please. Commit yourself with passionate integrity to incorruptible purity.

    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    You should be seriously considered for employee of the month. I love how you've been brightening up the workplace with your bursts of imaginative flair. If your associates have not yet registered the fact that your already-considerable value has risen even further, I urge you to show them this horoscope. In another matter, I'm certain that you should also be named shopper of the month. On the one hand you've been healing an obsessive glitch in your consumer habits, while on the other hand you've been delightfully intuitive about which purchases will improve your life in the most lasting ways.

    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    In a scene on the HBO TV show "Six Feet Under," George told Ruth about a house he'd owned in New England. Built over a stream, it had originally been a mill, though the wheel and grinding stones had been removed decades before. After he'd lived there for a while, George decided to put a new floor in the kitchen. He ripped out the old surface, then tore up the first wooden plank of the foundation below. There, just two feet below him, was the stream -- alive, sparkling, thrilling. He had known about it all along, but at that moment he actually saw it flowing beneath his house. I predict you will have a similar breakthrough in the coming week, Cancer. You will commune intimately with a source of magic you have had only indirect or imaginative contact with.

    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    When many people I know talk about their childhoods, they emphasize the alienating, traumatic experiences they suffered. Few report vivid memories of the good times. This has always felt dishonest to me; I attribute it to the cynical tenor of our age rather than the objective truth. In saying that, I don't mean to downplay the way our early encounters with pain demoralized our spirits. But you, Leo, are in a phase when it's crucial for you to acknowledge and honor the gifts you were given in your early years: all the joyful encounters, wise teachings, and blessings that helped you bloom.

    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    I predict you will be in a hearty, even triumphant mood in the coming week, Virgo. There'll be few if any loose ends. Unfinished business will either complete itself or else reveal to you how to wrap it up simply and quickly. However, even if you have to pass through a moment or two of dark doubt, it's essential that you stay committed to your mood of hearty triumph. Please write down this poem from Tony Hoagland and carry it around in your wallet: "No matter how you feel, you have to act like you are very popular with yourself; very relaxed and purposeful, very unconfused and not like you are walking through the sunshine singing in chains."

    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    Black South Africans fought for more than 40 years to dismantle the oppressive system of apartheid. One of their most potent weapons was toyi-toyi, a militantly exuberant form of singing and dancing. It mobilized the energy of crowds at the large protest demonstrations that ultimately broke the will of the white minority rulers. Imagine how confounded their authoritarian minds must have been when confronted by thousands of high-spirited people singing and dancing in unison. I wish you were uninhibited enough to lead a celebratory form of uprising like toyi-toyi, Libra. There's a status quo you're part of that desperately needs a friendly shock of that caliber. Can you maybe think of something a little less outrageous but equally fun, rebellious, and effective?

    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    If you're a songwriter, it's a good time to make yourself a Jennifer Lopez sock puppet, install it on your left hand, and ask it to help you create a tune that will sell a million copies. If you're a painter, it's a perfect moment to channel the spirit of Pablo Picasso as you dash off a few dozen masterworks, and if you're a writer, you should pretend you're the reincarnation of F. Scott Fitzgerald and whip out a future bestseller. In short, Scorpio, I recommend that you imitate people who have been successful in the way that you want to be. If necessary, get a new hero who inspires you to even greater heights than your old familiar heroes.

    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    "The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind," said visionary poet William Blake. There's not a person alive who can ignore that counsel, in my opinion; in various degrees, we all suffer from the mental illness of dogmatism. Luckily for you, Sagittarius, it's a perfect moment to flush out the standing water in your own psyche. You will attract unexpected help whenever you seek information that might shake up your staunch theories and beliefs about the way the world works.

    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    "You do not truly know someone until you fight them." That's one of my favorite lines in the film "The Matrix Reloaded." The oracle's bodyguard, Seraph, says this to the hero, Neo, after starting a brouhaha with him. It seems Seraph doesn't necessarily want to kick Neo's ass, but rather find out more about him so as to determine whether he can be trusted to consult with the oracle. Take this wisdom to heart, Capricorn. I suspect you'll have some interesting conflicts in the coming weeks. Their purpose is to bring you closer to the people you'll struggle with, not drive you apart.

    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    Everyone has an allergy, either physical or psychic. Mine is to cats. My colleague Sophie's is to peanuts. My friend Jason's is to his family of origin. (He starts sneezing if he merely sees a photo of his brothers and sisters.) I have an acquaintance, Justine, who swears she's allergic to environments that are too clean and orderly. Your allergy, Aquarius, might be to something concrete like tree pollen or dairy products, or it might be more mysterious, like Jason's or Justine's. Whatever it is, you should redefine your relationship with it in the next two weeks. Believe it or not, you can reduce its power to make you sick.

    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    To prepare for your week, listen to this tale of role reversal. It stars a beautiful flower as the villain and a grubby little insect as the hero. It's taking place all over Africa right now, where the water hyacinth has been choking rivers and lakes with its rapacious growth. A non-native species brought from Brazil a century ago, the hyacinth has had no impediments to its out-of-control spread until recently. Then a scientist found weevils that eat nothing but hyacinths, and sicced them on the out-of-control flower. His strategy is already working. The moral of the story, Pisces, as far as you’re concerned: If you're threatened with getting way too much of a good thing, enlist an unlikely ally to assist you.
  2. AORAone

    AORAone Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 6,460 Likes Received: 32
    yes! shopper of the month! wo hoo
  3. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    fun, rebellious, and fun...?? hhmmm, let's see what i can come up with.
  4. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,506 Likes Received: 448
    i was thinking the same thing. but then i remembered that i will most likely forget what it said by the time i click on the next thread.
  5. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    my usual....

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    You will relinquish your title as president of acquisitions and finance after being forced to admit you're just the assistant office manager.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    You'll finally be able to build the home you've always dreamed of now that you have enough blankets and couch cushions.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    Venus is descending in your sign this week, but you're better off not knowing exactly what that means.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    That might have been the worst birthday you've ever had, but take note: It won't be the worst of your life.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    It will be hard to take on the dual role of teacher and parent, but that's the life you'll lead as the enchanted rabbit companion to two plucky orphans.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    You're nearly at the end of the longest, most difficult spirit-journey of your life. Be prepared for a difficult and boring period of spirit-unpacking.
    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    You still don't understand what people tell you about getting along with others, but that's okay. You don't want to.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    You'll experience a strange mix of random violence, stultifying boredom, and financial security after becoming an English Premier League soccer star.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    Engineers will soon restore power and water to your area, so you'll have hours of hard sledgehammer work ahead of you to get it back the way you like it.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    People will come from miles around to seek your wisdom on all manner of things, which is proof that people will do anything for a good laugh.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    Love may mean different things to different people, but you know that it usually means free meals for someone.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    Frantic drivers will chase you around town for hours when a typo in the city charter mistakenly lists you as a free weekday parking spot.

    ^^^^ the aquarian one is just perfect for me right now!
  6. beardo

    beardo Guest

    who's coming with me?
  7. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  8. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    where the hell you going?

    second shotgun! (the seat not behind the driver)
  9. beardo

    beardo Guest

    it was kinda funny, my first reply was something about who am i supposed to be revolting against. hit submit, then went

  10. NOUM

    NOUM Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 17, 2003 Messages: 3,966 Likes Received: 0
    It's ok i guess..
  11. NOUM

    NOUM Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 17, 2003 Messages: 3,966 Likes Received: 0
    Ok thats just scary..
  12. XxSugarxX

    XxSugarxX Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 25, 2002 Messages: 897 Likes Received: 0
    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    You still don't understand what people tell you about getting along with others, but that's okay. You don't want to.

    i couldnt have said it better myself.
  13. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    "Can you maybe think of something a little less outrageous but equally fun, rebellious, and effective?"

    Hip Hop?
  14. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  15. johnny

    johnny Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Feb 15, 2003 Messages: 7,231 Likes Received: 16
    ^^^ hahhaha, my girls a virgo. i'll let her know too and gotdamn will she be happy.

    i had a rad childhood and i'm not sure i relate being under two roofs at the moment. we'll see...