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dog condoms

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by casekonly, Mar 29, 2005.

  1. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    DOG CONDOMS

    ya know, i hope ole' 'sparky' thinks to use the ribbed kind, and i hope that mutherfucker turns them inside out when he uses them.

    _______________________________________________________________

    What Sizes and Scents Do They Come In?

    Dog condoms come in three sizes to fit small, medium, and large breeds. Almost every dog will find a comfortable, well-proportioned condom to meet their needs. The condoms also come in lubricated and meat scented varieties to enhance pleasure for both dog partners.

    How Effective Are They?

    Clinical studies are still underway, but we expect them to be about as effective, if used correctly, as human condoms.

    Can I Train My Dog To Put It On Himself?

    No, the dog will require human intervention each time he wishes to put on or take off a condom.

    What About Female Condoms for Bitches?

    We recognize that birth control is the responsibility of both partners, and we are currently working on a prototype of a condom for female dogs. However, we don't expect it to reach the market until 2007.

    What About Loss of Sensation?

    Just like with human condoms, the dog may experience a slight loss of sensation. However, the condoms are made of a very thin latex which should transmit heat well, a key factor in creating a lifelike feel. We are also experimenting with new scents, which work like a "doggy Viagra", providing further sensory stimulation.

    When and Where Can I Buy Them?

    We are planning a roll-out for fall 2005 with wide availability at major pet stores and convenience markets by the beginning of 2006.
     
  2. AORAone

    AORAone Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 6,460 Likes Received: 32
    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

    ths has got to be a joke, and if its not, it should be.
     
  3. Æ°

    Æ° Senior Member

    Joined: May 12, 2002 Messages: 1,974 Likes Received: 6
    The title and sub title alone made me laugh.

    I'm going to look at the link and other stuff you typed now.
     
  4. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    it should be a joke, but what if sparky wants to get him some and he doesn't want the ahssle of puppies and late night calls of 'you my baby daddy'?

    you know sparky is a high roller with no time for the youngins'.
     
  5. AORAone

    AORAone Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 6,460 Likes Received: 32

    well if sparky wants to get down, then that son of a bitch can learn to put it on himself
     
  6. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5

    well if sparky wants to get down, then that son of a bitch can learn to put it on himself
    [post=3896128]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]


    that's what midgets are for. duh.
     
  7. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    i shouldn't say anything, but damn...i mean, meat flavored condoms shoulda given it away.

    let your dog out, doo'. nikka don't have to worry about no dog condoms,




    March 22, 2005

    Dog Condoms
    I just learned while perusing the indispensible Museum of Hoaxes blog that you can now purchase meat-scented condoms for your dog online. "Just as forced sterilization isn't the answer for human population control," announces a blurb on DogCondoms.com, "it's not the solution for dogs. Instead, we should respect dogs' rights as living beings by honoring their instincts and sexuality and provide them with safe, effective birth control."

    It's a joke, of course — not that any dogs I know are going to get a big whoop out of it.

    A WHOIS lookup lists the owner of the domain as Pretzel Publishing, which touts itself as a producer of Web sites offering "sex-positive education and humor." Other sites erected by the company include MasturbateForPeace.com and ViagraPhilosophy.com. Visit them at your own risk.
     

  8. Mmmm... puppy assholes.
     
  9. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    meat flavored condoms could possibly de-throne the dutch oven as the best bedroom prank ever....i need those, stat.
     
  10. The Leader

    The Leader Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Messages: 1,591 Likes Received: 1

    Mmmm... puppy assholes.
    [post=3896146]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    hahahaha ew dude.
     
  11. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    just get your dog fixed...I mean shit just by terminology they obvious come broken.
     
  12. hopeizm

    hopeizm Member

    Joined: Oct 3, 2003 Messages: 578 Likes Received: 1
    Thats just wrong hahahahahahaha....... on another note..... i actually think some humans should be forced steralised
     
  13. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
    ha!
     
  14. Im Broke

    Im Broke Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 11, 2003 Messages: 1,579 Likes Received: 0
    this reminds me that i needa get to the store to get some HUMEN condoms.
     
  15. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,066 Likes Received: 24
    As in getting spade(sp?)?
     
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